Helpppppppppp....how to save this couple?

Linda K

This is a question he should be asking. He needs to be find out what is going on and then figure out where to go from there. All you can do is give him some moral support and hope that what he suspects is not true. He needs to confront her if he hasn't already.

zzyzx1968

Do you like your job? stay away from this personal stuff you have nothing to gain by helping, but everything to loose.

Fellina

You asked for advise.... stay out of it. Problems between couples are a very personal matter, even though your boss doesn't seem to think so.

Try not to get mixed up. If he expects you to help him by tracking messages, etc, and you are afraid of loosing your job, then you will probably have to go along, but do not attempt to help them. You might get caught up in a pretty ugly game or even get in trouble with them.

Try to keep your distance as much as possible.

Lee B

This sounds u g l y. Don't get involved, stay away, don't give him suggestions, don't try to save their marriage. This is between him and her.

Nikki

No offense, but I don't really think it's any of your business.

cfalways

his relationship with his wife has nothing to do with you. what you can do is tell your boss that if it is not part of your job description then you don't have to do it. it may be balsy but you need to put your foot down as an employee. just because you work for him doesn't mean that he can do whatever he wants with you...especially in getting you involved in his personal affairs. is your boss a manager or is he the owner? if he is just a manager or a supervisor type of person then he does have someone else that he can report to. or you can go talk to HR and complain. work is not personal and personal lives should never be work. there is no friend in business and it should stay that way. yet...your boss is bringing his personal live into the business and dragging you along with it. dont' worry about the children...you need to worry about yourself.

Jenny

Let your Boss settle his own affairs, Don't get in the middle of it, it will only hurt you in the long run.

jules

Your boss is violating the employer, employee relation by asking you to become involved and help him spy on his wife. You are risking your job by doing so if things backfire. Let your boss take care of his of his own life and get back to just doing your job.

Brain

You are crazy for getting involved in this. I'm afraid you'll just end up fired and you are just trying to help. Look. Something is a miss with this situation. You need to encourage him to talk to her. Don't listen just to his side. One side always sounds better..until you hear the other side. Can it be worked out, well it depends on both of them. They both have to want it, but as for you...butt out! Be there for comfort and always encourage him to work it out with her. Good luck

rhsaunders

As an employee, it is not appropriate for you to meddle in the personal business of other employees, including the boss. Take no action other than that required to properly do your job.

oldknowitall

There is nothing you can do except stay out of it. Yeah, he is destroying what he has by being so paranoid and spying on her.

vtx.1800retro

none of your business, let them fight it out

Contorted Brains

That's kinda wacky don't you think?
I would be afraid for the wife, he seems dangerous and obviously not a laid back type of guy....
If I were you I would advise and warn her of this. I actually have had the same problem due to my mates insecurity..
He owns one of our cell phone company's out here and he had and has access to all accounts including, a log on all my text message's so, he basically keeps tabs on me everywhere I went..I finally caught on to him and called the police and found out he did this in past relationships including a marriage I was never aware of..
I couldn't believe that a person can be so sick in the head, but I guess that what happens when you don't believe in medicine and having mental disorders...

kimandryan2008

I'm sorry, but there is nothing you can do unless he wants your help. He's making his own bed, and he will have to sleep in it.

alisa

k getting a car tracking device is going way to far. but unless you know them really well (like friends) you should stay out of it

Ms Always Right

The only way to really save this couple is if she is not cheating. Talk to him about marriage counselling for them, and tell him that you are sorry he is feeling this way, but its not part of your job to help him find out. If you know his wife and are friends with her, take her to lunch and talk to her about how weird he is acting, you dont have to say you know why, but see if she has noticed anything and suggest counselling to her. sometimes a completely unbiased outside oppinion can save a marriage.

Lindsay G

Just stay out of it. If he is that worried, and going to that extreme they really don't have that good of a marriage anyway, regardless of whether she is cheating or not.
I would stay out of it for that and for the fact that you really shouldn't mix work and personal life together. It just makes a recipe for disaster.

Kitty

They'll have to figure it out for themselves.

Do they know the Lord? and do you? If you do, I would gently tell him that God can do a much better job of fixing this marriage than anything he could do. I'd talk to him about the gift of forgiveness and tell him that whatever he does find, he can work past it if he really loves her with Christ's help. God is the only one that is going to quell this wrath that is stirring up in his heart.

Kris

tell him to go to couples therapy

proud of it

Since when does someone else's problem become yours?

Cinnamon

Let us hope she is not..When in the heck does she have time for this with 2 small kids. He if he that sure Hire a PI to follow her for awhile. You do not know why she may be doing this. Ever heard of the old saying, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors? I think you should stay out of it. Because he is your boss..

Amethyst

Business is business and it is very unprofessional of him to get you involved. Do not discuss any of your personal feelings about this with him. Just do your job and when he asks you to check for text messages, just do it and report back to him. Follow his orders, do what he says but stay impartial and uninvolved. Also, be careful. He may try to pull the "I could really use a friend right now" b.s. which he may really mean at the time until the next morning when he freaks out at finding you in bed next to him.

Bala

Indeed the situation is pretty serious. I hope your boss is pretty straight forward and does not have any extra marital relationship with anyone. If that is so he will have a tendency to suspect his wife.
If this is clear he may be getting information from someone close to him that his wife is doing something which he does not like. This should be checked before he does tracking of her mobile calls.
Once this is also cleared you can go to their house, in case you are their friend, and have an open talk with both of them and clear each one's doubts.

LLM

It's really none of your business. What if he's wrong and his wife finds out he was trashing her reputation to his FEMALE employee? That might actually ruin there marriage. Stay out of it!

Advice*is*free

Get him to buy the cd's for Love and Respect and Cracking the communication Code both by emmerson eggrich at loveandrespect.com.

Angelic Valentine

It will do no good in talking to him. If she is cheating, then she deserves to be caught anyway. It may be in your best interest to stay out of it. If you talked to her about what he is doing and he found out, you could then be out of a job. She does need to know about it though....if she is not cheating. He will eventually give himself away about it bc he will not be able to hold everything in forever, and the more he looks for things, the more he will find whether it is innocent or not. He could make her into cheating when she is actually picking the children up from school if he is that determined to find something on her. He needs to realize that if she is not having an affair, he could ruin his marriage by doing this. It could be his guilty concious getting to him to be so determined.

Kimberly L

Instead of him sneaking around behind his wife's back, he should just sit down and talk with her. It'd take a lot less effort. If he sneaks around his wife may get angry and think he doesn't trust her-especially if she isn't actually cheating.

Ms. X

Saving their marriage is not your job. Not even "other jobs as assigned." I would keep waaay out of this one. Your boss's personal business is not your business.

joyh

Very often, when a spouse suspects an affair, something is wrong already. He might be willing to fight to save his marriage and needs proof in order to get his wife to end his behavior and start rebuilding the marriage. He has a right to protect himself if his wife is cheating on him. It puts him at risk for STD's among other things. You don't have to be in the middle or enable this. It's not a good idea for you to be his confident about his personal problems.

Suggest that he and his wife get some counseling by someone certified in couples counseling. There must be signs of problems for him to be looking. They have small children who need healthy parents. There are also some good marriage weekend programs that might be helpful,

http://www.retrouvaille.org/

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi9000_courses.html

If he does find his wife was having an affair, there may still be hope to save the marriage. Just exposing the affair ends it in many cases. With intensive effort from both, they can rebuild the marriage.

The following yahoo group site has many helpful articles and links saved in FILES, including some tips of ways to search for the truth.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffairsTalk/

gracious_g7

it looks u are nice to have around ,tell ur bos to trust his wife or to came out coz he might think he is been double croossed but she is in love wit him or ask ur boss to go for advice with his wife

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