Honestly how stupid am I ?

SillyKimmie

Go with your heart. Your marriage to him could be stronger than it was the first time. You have both changed and should probably attend some counseling with a faith based counselor if you are a believer. If you love him, be with him. Go with your heart. Never give up! Take care!

zen522

You need to see a counselor together before anyone move any where

carebear_destroyer

i think that you and him need to sit down and find out what you both are looking for and tell him that you dont just want to be with him for the kid.. you cdan only realy fin dout what he is looking for by asking him.

Delta Charlie

Take your time. You don't need to just "jump" back into it with him. I advise against it.

oh_hell_imagine_that

girl he is an ex for a reason ........... go find something lnew and leave it alone ....... if you weren't good enough once you won't be this time either. save yourself some heartache and your baby some. don;t take visitation away from him but leave him be. you can find someone who is deserving of you ......nothing else try internet personals.... oh _hell

kiwi

I think you could benefit from counselling. This problem sounds like something really deep, and you need someone to help you work it thru.

Big Jimi

Things happen,give him "one" more chance,BUT if he screws up again,End it !!

Nicole

Keep close to him, because he is still the father of your child. I wouldn't get in a relationship yet though. Like boyfriend and girlfriend. You need some time. And he should too. He just suddenly leaves you with a girl, almost marries another and wants to come back? Seems a little weird!

ronnny

Take things slow and feel things out. if you get to fel he wants and you to work this out do. If you find someone ele then look into that. Take things slow and just look at what you are doing.

John P

I am a guy, who had two children with a woman, who left me on Chrismas Eve....just 2 months shy of 4 years marriage. She left me AND our two children (boy and girl) for another man. I was heartbroken needless to say.... suddenly I found myself to be a single father with two children in DIAPERS (aged 1.5 and 2.5)
After about 6 months she tried to come back to me and the kids.
She knew she made a mistake and wanted me to take her back.
As Much as I wanted to....Oh so badly, I knew deep down in my heart that if she could do it once, she could do it again, and I was NOT going to give her that chance. She made her bed, and would have to now lay in it. She has since been married four times, and had more children. She keeps cheating on all of her men. I now know I made the right choice. When did all this happen? Dec 1986 the kids are now 21 and 22 years old

hidemi_jessica

Oh my god girl!!! Do not take him back! PLEEEASE!!! Why did he leave you? To be with this other woman?

I know this saying is very old but you have to know that there are many fih in the sea. I am only 26 years old and I have been in love only a couple times. But never once did I think that I could not find sombody better because there is always somebody out there that is better! Hold out for somebody who will ALWAYS out you and your baby first and never doubt. This guy does not deserve you or your time.

thejaundiced_eye

While not perfect, your grammar isn't too bad. I don't think you're stupid...Just dealing with what life is throwing your way. Do whats right for you and your kid. If this guy is a chump, collect the child support payments and count your blessings that he is gone.

mjm52

Sweetie you need to sit down and think this out very carefully. If your gut tells you it's not right you should listen to it. Just be sure that you aren't just afraid of getting hurt again. You're right if he's coming back because of the baby then it won't last. Go very very slowly with this and make sure it's the marriage he wants and not just to be with the baby. It's not like you're denying him his baby, he'll have visitation. I too would be suspicious of anyone that is going to marry someone else one minute and then wants to be with me the next. It would make me wonder what he'll want next week.

janu014

Move on, you don't need to go thru all that pain and drama.and what guaranties you that he is not going to do the same thing again. If you where to get back with him you will not be able to trust him again and you are going to be worried about everything he does..

Move on for your baby he/she needs you more than anything.

john h

He thought that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence which is not always the case he left you once he will do it again move on getting back together for the sake of a child never works !!

Monica

I would say if you dont think your husband was a good husband and dont think that he could really change then dont get back with him. However, if he was a good husband when the two of you were together then maybe you could give him another chance, just keep your guard up some more for a while until you know. If you think you have more doubt in you then you should probably go with your gut, even if that means saying no to him. You need to do whats best for you. Dont let him hold you back though, you can probably do better.

Khandi

You answered your own question, You can do bad by yourself honey.
Just keep moving forward...don't look back, you might fall...

melody

you're saying your husband left you a YEAR ago and started dating another woman. Their relationship lasted 5 months and he came back to you. you immediately took him back? when did the divorce happen....while you were pregnant? you two need to communicate with each other to know where your relationship stands. ask him questions about why he came back to you and why he left the other woman. maybe he came back to you because he needs you, not necessarily because he loves you. If he loved you, he wasn't going to leave you in the first place. What makes you think he's here to stay this time? If he can leave you once, he can leave you again. you need to ask him questions to get answers to your doubts...and closely monitor his actions.

deanie1962

It's not stupidity, it's confusion. And the reason you are confused is because your ex-husband is playing with your emotions. Where is the girlfriend? You said "he will break it off with her and work on us...." The question is ... why hasn't he broke it off already? And, if you decide not to take him back, will he actually really break it off... I would bet that the proverbial grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.

Sweetie, if you are having doubts, go with your gut .. ALWAYS. If you don't feel like it will work, go with what you feel is right... Remember, put you and your child 1st.

Good Luck

skyehigh

His guilt over leaving his baby is what is making him come back. If he was planning to marry someone else, he probably still will after he reassures himself that his daughter is old enough to visit him on weekends. That's pretty much all he wants. If he still loved you he wouldn't be dating someone else, definately not seriously as this five month relationship sounds. Tell him to stuff it, you're not that easy!

RoLaNd

NOOOOOWwwwwwwwwwww look wat you got yourself into try thinking back to wwat your mom told you

xtratabasco

move on, theres a book called moving on at www.grief.net

>>||<<

I believe that your husband has realized that the grass is not greener on the other side. You really just need to move on. If you let him come back he will just keep doing the same thing for other booty calls.

olderbutwiser

Tell him...."Thanks, but NO thanks"! You have halfway gotten over him now, and if he comes back, you'll have to start all over if he leaves again.....which you're afraid he will do. Cut your losses and don't let him move back in.

nis

as they say, the past is a predictor of the future. if you are over him move on, maybe he doesn't know what he wants himself and is saying this just incase the other girl falls through, i have been in that situation i took him back and we only seperated again. it hurts, but later on you will understand when you are with a new man who will love you more

zether

it all depends on why he left in the first place

there is not enough information to make an informative analysis of the situation

â™¥Popotitozzâ™¥

You should move on without him, pride is the only thing you have left and you will regret to loose it.

deb

I think if I were in your situation I would move on. Just because the two of you aren't together doesn't mean he can't be involved in his child's life....Matter of fact he SHOULD be a part of her life, regardless of your relationship status.

I don't know why he left, but it seems to me he has some commitment issues. He leaves you and now he is going to walk away from the woman he left you for, the woman that he WAS going to marry? I see a pattern, not a very healthy one.

I would agree if you allow him back into your life, you are setting yourself up. I wouldn't want to do that to myself, after finally getting over the break up......getting back into the same situation. Then there is the issued of Trust. Could you ever trust him? Completely? I believe that is what relationships are founded on. It there is not trust, there is no real relationship. Anyway that's my two cents, for what it is worth.

big_scary_white_guy

you have to devote 1,000,000% of your energy to making a relationship work...you must remove all negative influences, about your relationship, from your life immediately....dont let anyone tell you what you need to do...DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO...tell this guy that your happiness in life will not be determined by his presence in it....if you really know this guy you can tell if he is sincere....you did not mention if you still love him....

jude

sometimes it is hard to believe someone who has hurt us, and once we move past that initial shock and hurt, we do not for any reason want to risk being hurt again. and we may well be just setting ourselves up for more of the same. depends on why he has decided to work on it, if it is just because the other woman has left him, and he finds himself alone, than it would not be worth it, as as soon as he finds someone else he will be gone. what are his reasons, did the other woman leave him? maybe the other woman is the one who wants to break it off with him. he certainly didn't care about leaving u and his kid a year ago, so i do not think it is because of the child. i say if he really thought anything of u in the first place, that he would never have left u in the first place for her. think he is insecure and just has to be with someone. no i think u should go on with your life without this man, he will only keep hurting u, u are for the most part over the hurt, don't let him come back and do it to u all over again. as it has to be u he loves and u have to be the reason he comes back, can't be because of the kid, or because the other woman has dumpted him. chances are he won't be forthright and honest about what happened between him and her. ask him why he wants to come back? if it's any other reason than he loves u, than it will never work out.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: