How Can i make my marriage work?

We have had our ups and downs, But for the last three years my wife and i have been there for each other throught thick and thin.. as of December 27th it just became too much for her and she up and left. Something that i never in my life time expected! its now april 26th and she is still gone, and pregnant with someone else's child.. I have still told her to come home and that i would care for this child as if it was my own.. all that had to happen was she had to come home! Any ways her answer is to be here two nights and gone two nights, as a married couple to me thats not an answer or a solution, she says the only reason she needs to be there is for this guy to be there for the baby.. as i told her thats fine he can be in the baby's life But i deserve to be there for HER as her husband. anyways i wont ramble on anymore but if you have any questions or want more details just say so! Thank you for your time.. I love my wife and children dearly and will do ANYTHING to get us back together!
Additional Details
The two day thing is... my wife wants to be at home two nights, at her boyfriends two nights, home two nights, and so on...

Calvin M

That's rough! It sounds like she loves you. She just needs a little bit more than what she's getting at home. Just be patient. Give her room to explore new and different people. So she goes out twice a week, so what! Treat her like a princess, and eventually she'll decide on you instead of the other guys.

Woogs

I'm sorry, but it sounds like she has completely checked out or the relationship you can't make someone be in a relationship. No matter how badly you want it.

Ken

Wow! You are a better man than I to raise a child that's not yours.

Unfortunately, unless she wants to work on the marriage, there's not much you can do. You didn't say if you have your other kids or if she took them.

Either way, I'm sorry to say that your marriage is finished, IMHO. Now is the time to really focus on doing whats best for all your kids. Get yourself the best lawyer you can afford and move on with your life. Even if she comes back, she'll leave again when her stress gets to be too much for her. You don't want to put your other kids through that.

Katie M

What a heartbreaking question. Your wife had a loving family and she just threw it away. I wish I could say some magic words but the bottom line is, your ex is an insensitive, uncaring person. You won't be able to change her and the new baby's daddy will probably go through what you're going through. I wish you the best.

Tracy L

Sorry to be the one to tell you, Your marriage is over. Take it from personal expieriance, I was in a situation about the same as yours. first of all, you will never regain the trust you once had in her, and second, she has little or no respect for you. If having the man involved in the babies life is all she wants of him, then why is she so set on spending time with him before the baby is even born? It's the time she spends with him that she is worried about at this point.

miss carrie

She is trying to have her cake and eat it too. If she really wants to make her marriage work, it is completely unacceptable for her to be staying with the baby's father every two nights. I can understand her needing to keep in contact with him, since it is his baby, but spending the night there is not acceptable.

I am so sorry that you are in this situation, and it is definitely not going to be easy, but it really sounds like she has no intention of ending her affair with him.

ZaZa [Lily is here!]

It sounds like you have done your part, all that's left is for her to do what she needs/wants to do regarding your relationship. You've told her that switching back and forth is not right for your marriage- STICK TO THAT. You are completely right. Sometimes you just have to wait and see what the other person's move will be. Don't become her doormat. You know what's right. If she does not come around, it is her loss. I'm sorry you're going through this :(

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