How can I cope with my sister getting married?

cowboymouth1984

Getting married is a huge adjustment for all involved. This situation must be especially hard because the engagement period usually allows for some adjustment to be made, since there wasn't this time its especially hard...

Have you told your sister how you feel? Maybe she doesn't realize how you feel and how much you looked forward to your time together. In my situation once my sister told me how much she missed me, I was able to make time to spend with her, whether it was going out to lunch while my husband was a work or going prom dress shopping with her.

I would talk to your sister and let her know you miss her... If you feel weird saying something in front of her new husband or the rest of your family try calling her or sending an email or a text...

magnolia_76

â™¦ Ask your sister if there is a time where you both can just hang out or go to a movie together (just the two of you). She should be able to still do things with you from time to time (maybe not as often as before).. without the hubby. My sisters and I get together every so often just to hang out or see a movie, I'm the only one that is married, husband doesn't mind at all, that I spend time with them. Keep in mind she just got married, and at 1st newly weds like to sleep all there free time together, eventually that will chill some..

kate bait

invite her to a girls night out once a week

give her some time with her husband

hang out with your other friends

hope you feel better

Amanda

give it time

It feels like you are losing your best friend. What you are going through is understandable.

You just have to move on. Make other friends. Take a class. He will be taking up her time after they get married. This is a normal part of life.

I'm sorry.

kitty

you are suffering a loss of your sister's love and companionship. you are grieving. if you look up things about "griving the loss of a relationship", you will find stuff. i am sorry for your pain. i have felt that way with my sister too. XO also look up stuff "when you lose your best friend" and stuff like that.

Jill

First of all, you have to understand that it is more a life change for your sister than it is for you. She is just adjusting to being married. Its hard to explain, but even if you lived w/someone for a long period of time prior to getting married, it still changes once you're actually married. You just have totally different mentality about your relationship. You have not lost your sister forever, she's just behaving like any other newlywed. I'm sure in no time, she'll be coming over on her own and spending time with just you. You could always vocalize that you miss your time where its just the two of you and see if that helps at all. In the meantime, I hope you at least congratulated her and are giving her husband a chance to show you why your sister loves him.

AnswerDancer

Never pretend about your feelings. yeah, weddings are supposed to be la-dee-dah for everyone, but it's true that changes often have a cost. In this case, you are the loser, and I feel bad for you.
Still, I don't think all is lost. Give your sister a month or two, then ask her to a special thing for just you two. Then tell her exactly how you feel. Tell her you're thrilled for her, you don't want to get between her and her man, but you miss her. Odds are she misses you too, and will remember that when her head comes back down fromthe clouds. Your relationship hasn't ended, it has changed. Learn to adjust to her time and energy constraints, and you may well find it is richer than ever.
meanwhile, you have to maintain your own friendship circle, always trying to widen and deepen it.
Good luck

Stephanie S

Just talk to her! I am sure she is missing you on some level...but the newness of the marriage is taking over at the moment! Maybe you can try to work out something like one night a month is sister night! And then when the bliss of the marriage starts to wear off some more, I am sure she will start coming around more!

benjamin m

You should just tell her how you feel. If you are as close as you say then it shouldn't be a problem. She is busy being a wife right now but maybe you could schedule some sister time once or twice a month where just the 2 of you go see a movie or have dinner. You could make it fun by taking turns who picks what you are going to do, make it a surprise each time and compete on who picked the Most fun thing to do, or the silliest, or craziest. Like paintball, or an art class. That way you will still get to hang out and get to try new stuff at the same time and maybe find something that you truly enjoy and can make your hobby while she's with her husband.

The Gorgeous 1

Well others may say your being selfish, but i know what your going through and although yes it is being that way, maybe just maybe in the back of your mind you know that this isn't right especially if she just abandon your for him and when he comes around she totally switched up, how about this, talk to her and tell her, I simply told my sister when he's around your not yourself and I miss that, and gradually she came out of this conservative bout she was having and calmed down. How about you list something and talk to her about it, if you guys are as close as I assume, maybe this will make things a little easier for you.

Melissa L

Talk to her. She's still your sister, she should listen. Invite her and her awkward husband out. Chances are that he'll feel left out when you two start gossiping, and so the next time you invite them both out, he won't want to come.

She needs your support, even if she's married. She'll probably need it even more when she realizes that eloping is almost always a mistake.

Perks

Maybe ask you sister if she would like to go out for the afternoon just you and her and tell her how you feel, (as in loosing her attention is really hurting you) maybe she can put a couple of hours aside for you each month so that you can still have your sister and she can move on too. Life has many changes for everyone but theres no reason change can't be good.

artistj

Try talking to your sister. At the beginning of the marriage they probably want to spend a lot of time together but tell her you miss the one on one time you used to have and see if she can do stuff just the 2 of you occasionally. You have to realize that she may not be as available as she was since she has started a family of her own now, but I think you could come to an agreement that works for both of you.

Graham H

It happened to me with a favorite cousin. Any close relative or friend can leave a hole in your life and even a feeling of being abandoned when they get into an exclusive relationship with someone.

Nicky

First your going to have to give her some time to be with her husband for a little while. A month or two, then I'd maybe talk to your sister privately about needing to spend some time with just her. That while you like her husband and enjoy spending time with the two of them, that you miss spending time just the two of you and that it's an important aspect of your life. Give her the time without talking about it first, so she doesn't have to feel guilty about wanting to spend all her free time with him. Until then, I'd suggest maybe making plans with other friends and family members. Find a class your interested in, going out to dinner and movie, a spa, etc. on the night that she'd normally come over. Take the time to expand yourself or another relationship, with a little time things will go back to normal and you'll see her regularly again. Just be patient.

amada_rose

Well...it will take some time to adjust to the new situation. I'm sure you have other friends, why don't you just spend some more time with them for a while. Reconnect with girls you haven't hung out with in a while. Also, talk about it with your mom, I'm sure she is feeling some of the same feelings you are, and she may have good advice for you. Your sister is an adult and she is allowed to get married to whoever and however she pleases. She may be keeping her distance for one, she may feel like people are angry with her or just shocked and she doesn't feel like dealing with people's reactions. How about you make sure and congratulate her and let her know that you want her to be happy, and that you miss her, and tell her you hope she doesn't stop hanging out with you now that she is an old married woman (say it in a teasing way:). That will help her to know she can hang out with you without you getting angry at her, or asking her too much. When she is ready, and when she feels comfortable, she will share what was going through her head and tell you more details about the elopement. Just give it time. Your feelings are natural and normal.

angel_10720

First of all, think about how you would want her to feel for you if you were in that situation, everyone needs to grow up and start their own life, you just have to cope and let time take it's course. Eventually when she starts a family there will be lots of opportunities for you guys to hang out and do all those sisterly things that you once were doing, and when your in that situation she'll be there to help you with everything you need to know since she'll have already experienced it. Also, just give her a call every once in a while, to talk and tell her how you feel, just because she's married doesn't mean she doesn't still love you or have time for you, maybe you can go out for coffee one day and talk or just hang out. Hope that helps some :)

NAWFSIDE

KILL HER HUSBAND

Lori J

You're not alone. I have 4 sisters, and many close friends that are in that period in there life where there all in serious relationships, having children, buying homes ect ect. It is hard to cope, you feel like your being rejected, even though you've been there all of her life. Everyone goes through this, friends drift, well even some family. I'm sure once the wedding get more into moshion, you will be with her alot planning the details ect. I'm sure a baby won't take long to come after that, and she will be looking for your support and company ALL the time, trust me. Just give her time to cope with her crazed love feeling, when she starts to feel like "an old married couple" lol and it doesn't take long, she will be knocking your door down.

x2000

It's a part of growing up. Eventually, you will get married, and get other interests as well. Not see your siblings and parents as much because you will have a spouse and possibly children of your own. It's just a part of life, and quite natural. Pick up a phone call her once or twice a week to catch up.

Sportstar superstar

It will be a shock at first but u will learn to adjust to your new life. Just remember their will probably be times when you will do the same thing and its amazing that your sister is getting married. Maybe you shouls try to get to know your sisters husbands a little more. Then you might have more fun and it might help the situation!!!!!!!

Say it Like it Is :)

You need to be happy for her, and accept that people grow and move on. She is still your sister, but you need to be able to be strong on your own. People don't stick around forever, they have to live their own lives.

goddess

It's a part of life. You are born into this world, you grow up, and find that special someone and you move out and onto another chapter in life. She still your sister and can't no one replace that. Talk to her and let her know how you feel and that you dont wanna lose her.

sarah

When people get married their priorities change. You haven't lost your sister, she has a family to tend to now. If you are feeling left out maybe you should talk to her about it. It's a big change for everyone, but remember you are suppose to support your family, so explain to her that you know she has a husband now, but you would like to see her more often if possible. Be understanding but still tell her how you feel.

Sophiesmom

Im sorry i don't understand...You would think if you loved your sister you would be happy she was happy. This happen in life and not always on someone elses time schedule. Nothing you can do about her getting married, you cant change things...just be happy for her.

willn2pleaze

Get a life! She only came over once a week to hang out so you can't really be missing that much. She is not doing it now only because she just got married, but she will back hanging out with you again, and maybe more than once a week. In the mean time get some friends and be happy for your sister. Please don't tell her and make her feel guilty because you are only thinking of yourself.

Camille P

Well I think you really need to understand that now that your sister is married, obviously her lifestyle will change and on your part, you need to be matured and accept that and just be happy for her, like a sister would!!!

If you feel as though you really want to spend some time with your sister, maybe not like before, but occassionally, just you two, talk to her and let her know how you feel and that you understand that it can't be like it used to but you would still like to have some quality time with her to catch up and whatnot.

frances

Find yourself a Boyfriend fool!
lol

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