How can I move FORWARD?
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How can I move FORWARD?
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Okay, this morning my boyfriend of 5years just up and walked out on me. No answers, no reason, no anything. He woke up this morning (after having a great time together last night) and packed his stuff and walked out saying he hasn't been happy for a while, but that he hid it so nobody knew. Well, we have been together for 5years, we have 2 beautiful kids together (4yo & 7months old) and we just bought a brand new home together, which we can't sell for 5 years (due to the way everything was written up). We've only been here 3years. And he just WALKED OUT. No questions answered. I'm at a complete loss. My whole world just got ripped to shreds. I'm a StayAtHomeMom so I have no job (yet...) and jobs where we live are VERY VERY hard to find due to the economy being so crappy. Everyone around me is telling me "don't let him back!" "we will figure something out!" And laugh and joke and play (because that is how my family is...they aren't intentionally doing it to be rude or anything). But all I can do is sit and cry. And when I came home just now, I came home to an empty house and my emotions took control and I can't stop crying. Yes, i'ts only the first day, but what can I do to help ease the pain and heartache? My heart feels like it is being pulled from my chest and ripped to shreds. I love him to death, and we've never been apart a day in 5 years. I don't know what his plan is...I don't know what is going on, I'm like in...space. I feel zoned out to everyone, I feel like my life just hit PAUSE, and I can't find the remote to keep playing...it's a weird feeling. Anyway, how did you deal? What am I going to tell my kids? My daughter will definately ask questions.
PS: I know it's not the end of the world, I know I will be okay, and my kids will be loved and taken care of. But why does it hurt so bad? And how can I get it to stop?
Additional Details
Angel - I am so sorry to hear your situation. It sounds just like mine! He will not admit to being with anybody else. But in a way I almost wish he WOULD, so maybe some of the pain would go away and instead turn into anger or something, and in some twisted way HELP me feel better. It JUST happened, I'm in shock. And I called him asking "I just need an ANSWER please. I just want to know WHY?" and he cant give me one other than, "I don't love you, I'm not IN love with you." well...then WHY did we have ANOTHER baby that was PLANNED? WHY did we buy a big house together that now i am stuck with ALONE? WHY did we do ANY of this? Don't get me wrong, I do NOT regret my son in ANY way, i love him more than anything. My kids are my WORLD and the ONLY reason i'm not losing it right now. BUT, f you don't love somebody, why would you have ANOTHER child with them?
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Spindrift
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NEVER take him back, you need to get an at home job and you need to get control of yourself and focus on your children now, the guy is obviously a total loser and you're lucky he's gone. There were signs you may not have been aware of for whatever reason, maybe denial. In any case, you should start a personal journal and write down everything you can think of whenever you think of it and in that way, the act of writing will help you focus and organize your emotions. Once the shock wears off you will see how terrible he was and how much better you are without him, no real man ever walks out on his family for no reason and with no warning without making monetary provision for them. |
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angel
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OMG!! you just described what i have been going through for the last 4 months...my husband and i have been married for 14 years and together for 15...he walked out on me in dec. 08 and all i got from him was that he was not in love with me anymore...what the hell...i know the last 2 and a half years have been hard on us because i was hurt from an accident but still...even up till the days before he was talking about us building our new home and vacations and even sayin i love you...then one morning he was gone and to this day my life is still on pause..i wait for him to walk in the door coming home from work...and when he calls me i still get excited hearing his voice...i sit and cry..just mowing the yard brings me to tears because i still feel him standing there watching me or bringing me something to drink...i wish i could tell you how i am dealing with it but im not..my whole life was just ripped out from under me and i am still asking questions that he says he has no answers to...by the way did i tell you he is living with his secretary? well he is...and everyday i think about it, it makes me sick...i know he is not the man i fell in love with and i dont know where he went...i think it hurts so bad because we are still in love with them, despite the awful things they have done...i wished i could tell you that it gets better but for me it hasn't...we still have to talk to each other because of the bills and stuff and that jsut kills me..i cant work because i am disabled so being at home all day in a house that is full of memories kills me...you will just have to be honest with your kids...tell them that you dont understand why he left and reassure them that you will be there for them....if they get clingy, allow them to be for a while...they just need to know that you are not going to leave them too...if you ever want to talk i will talk with you and see if i cant help in any other way... |
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