How can i tell if my wife is cheating on me?

A few years ago my wife came to me crying. She said she was guilty about getting to close to a guy friend she had. She knew him since before she even met me.I told her just stop talking and being his friend, and she agreed. Well about 2 weeks went by and one day i noticed she left her e-mail logged on.I looked and they were still best of friends.I got very,very upset. I told her this time not to talk to him any more if she wanted to stay with me. And keep this family together.So now a couple years later i pick up her Blackberry. I notice she has her own e-mail on it. I start reading some very dirty talk to who else. Well there is times and dates. He asks when she can skip work. She claims its all talk ,and its exciting ,makes her feel wanted, blah,blah,blah. Deep down i don't believe her that she says nothing happened. What should i do.Oh yeah had we not had twins ,i would be done with this. On the verge of Divorce. Please help anyone!!!

Josephine

Even if she's not having a physical affair, she is absolutely having an emotional affair.

I think that you need to sit her down and explain to her that regardless of whether she has ever had intimate physical contact with him, what she has done is called an emotional affair and they do just as much damage as a physical one. Explain to her that if she feels that she's lacking excitement, affection, emotion or whatever else in the marriage that she already has, then she owes it to you to come to you FIRST instead of running off and talking to another man. Tell her that she has completely disrespected you AND herself, that she has intentionally hurt you because she KNEW you didn't want this going on, and that this will be the LAST time, one way or another. Perhaps offer you ultimatum here: Marriage counseling? Complete cut-off from the internet, blackberry included? Or maybe make her give you her passwords so that you can e-mail the guy yourself - test her loyalty? Make it very clear to her that she either agrees to your terms or moves out, end of story.

As far as your twins...I know that's a tough situation, but it would be FAR better for them to see you NOT taking her crap than for the two of you to stay together, cheat and be miserable.

nora

once a cheater, always a cheater. take custody of the twins and let her have fun with the co worker since she doesn't want to stay faithful to your marriage.

Cindy

I dont mean to offend or anything but it sorta sounds like from her view that your not paying enough attention. Ladies want that from their man and as soon as you stop they may feel bored or unwanted and as time goes by that little chit-chat talkity-talk your wife may be sleeping with him or worse!!! I understand your stuck now but you should somehow find a way to say, oh im going to check my email and 'accidently' open up the dirty one. Confront her and tell her how she thinks you feel about this and how she would feel if you went to strip clubs and say its only looking and it excites me and makes me feel wanted. Now you have got her in the same situation and hopefully she'll realize your pain and stop. Good luck!!!

Turtle

You and she need marriage couseling. You both have to try everything to keep the marriage together. If she is not willing to meet you halfway and stop her infidelities, then you will have no choice but to leave her. Just always stay close for your kids.

P.T.

She may be cheating. Why don't you confront her? Before thinking of divorce, try to talk to her first.

every day is a gift

take her blackberry to your attorney and bury the tramp..........
clearly she is cheating, face it, deal with it, and grow a set.......

Wicked_Unrelenting_Villain

There are many _responsible_ answers to the question.

Or you could buy mail order lice and use as directed and legally advised.
http://www.revengecrabs.com/

If she's itching, and you're not, and she doesn't want to tell you about it, and she seems like she's feeling guilty, she might think she got them from him.

Make sure this is legal in your state before doing this.

Oh SURE, there are "obvious" ways. But this _a_ way that you may not of thought of.

Skitty

Smell her? I don't get that.

This is a really really tough question that cannot be fully answered here in this form.

It sounds to me like she's a liar and how can you ever trust or believe a liar?

But I can't give you advice on this situation.

The answer is in your heart.

Stupendous Bear

DONT get divorced it will hurt the kids and scar them for life

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