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Marjery Stewart-Baxter
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you can confuse sympathy for love.. think about if you had a future with this guy.. he has no job and he would be living off you.. it would never work.. and i think your husband is a wonderful man for trying to make things work with you even though you cheated on him.. he really loves you.. dont let something negative ruin what you already have.. your husband loves you no matter what.. this other guy is no good for you and i bet you even know that.. its ok to feel sorry for him - but distance yourself.. be with the one who truly cares for you |
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Forlorn Hope
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maybe people don't answer your question cos they can't understand it...
stop cheating!!! |
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Happy-2
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Apparently, your definition of "stupid" questions are those that contain things like grammar and punctuation. I'd love to answer your question, but it is illegible.
Furthermore, only one person will get 10 points. The rest of us will get only 2. |
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Thin Ice
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If he can't afford a home, then are you sure you want to be with this winner? I mean come on. If you can't make it in the United States you are not even trying.
Stay out of the trailer park, stick with your man if he will take you back, but remember, revenge is a dish best served cold. I would butter you up, get your confidence going, then boom, you are out the door when most vulnerable. |
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Marcie
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You need counseling. Your thinking is way off kilter!!
Your priorities, you are obsessing.. you are being selfish- consider YOUR children. etc. I think a counselor could help you to clear out your mind and get on track. If you can't afford it, there is usually a county mental health program that is on a sliding scale... or try a woman's resouce center.
No reason for you to suffer with this crazy thinking... get help. |
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Valerie X Account #15- Awesome!
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Talk about "stupid" questions! |
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graeme1944
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Hi Going Nuts, so is trying to read your story. Looks like you want to follow your heart, but are con fussed.
I think you need a sympathetic and honest friend to give you advice.
Sounds like this other guy is a drop kick no place to live and no job, I can't see why you are willing to throw everything away for him.
Sounds like your husband is willing to give you a second chance, a lot to loose with little to gain the way I read it. |
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ndnqt1966
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Considering that you question is one of those "stupid questions"...perhaps you will get a lot of responses.....I truly feel sorry for your family....they have a wife and mother that is a floozy. |
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D N
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You feel bad because he's a grown man who can't support himself?
It's not your fault he's a loser, it's your fault you commited adultery on a "great man" and the father of your children. |
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notarycat
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I applaud you for wanting to work out your marriage.
Please do not confuse sympathy and love. I don't believe you truly love the other man. Perhaps he satisfied a need in you that wasn't being met, but that has passed. If you have agreed to work on your marriage, then focus strictly on it. Your marriage will never survive unless you are 100% devoted to your husband. You must get the other man out of your mind and heart. It will take time to do, and so will your marriage. Six days is nothing. It might take weeks, months, or a year. You and your husband need to get into some counseling to learn how to regain trust. The fact that the other man's family has turned him out is not your concern. He needs to work that out with them on his own. He also needs to get into counseling and work through his own feelings.
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Lucy
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Well, what you need to do is... wait, what?? Are you having an affair with your husband's daughter's father? The homeless guy who lives in the hallway? You love him, but he doesn't know you love the homeless guy? I don't get it. Not the brightest crayon in the box. Good thing you're married, eh? |
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openminded
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And thats why you keep your hand out of the cookie jar. And you dont think you question is dumb? Your actions are. |
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llnlln56
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I will never understand why people cheat. You want to work things out with your husband, but your mind and heart are with a man who doesn't even have a job. Get real, your husband deserves so much better. You didn't think about him or your children while you were cheating, it's disgusting. You need to get your mind and heart right. Concentrate on saving your marriage. That other man can pick himself up and get his sh*# together, he's not worth having. I'm sure your not liking your answers. No one is going to feel sorry for you or the other man. He's not much of a man, if he would cheat with a friends wife. |
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Jing
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Ditto. I can't follow where you're going either. |
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pictureshygirl
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You are feeling sorry for a guy who is unemployed, has no place to toss his hat, no bed to place his boots under, hummm, sounds as if you are an enabler. People like you feel responsible in rescuing people who are losers. Sorry, but your problems lie deeper than they appear. You need therapy to see why it is you feel the need to rescue. That is where your attraction for him lies. He makes you feel needed and he thrives on your sympathy, bad combination. I know this is not what you want to hear but I say it the way I see it in order to help. Here is your husband, a good man, good provider, good father to your children, and he has a wife who had an affair with a guy who is unemployed and must of been most of his life for him not even to have a place to call his own. Now who do we truly feel sorry for? Think about what you are doing with your life and the decisions you are making. Time to focus on other important issues and stop thinking it is all about you. |
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Katherine N
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You answered your own question! You MAYBE love that other guy but you know you made the "right choice" with your husband. You can't give up a nine year marriage for a MAYBE! Go to counseling! Make absolutely sure that you can't save your marriage before you go running off with someone else. There are two kids involved in this for god's sake!
Don't feel sorry for the other guy. He made the choices that caused him to get thrown out. He will sort his own life out. |
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Jay
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First of all, if your husband is willing to give you a second shot, you better take it because cheating is about the dumbest thing you can do. You have made a committment to him and you need to keep it. You shouldn't even be thinking about this other guy. IN LOVE OR NOT! If you're in love with this other guy, you can just get over it sister 'cause cheating is the one thing that God okayed devorce for and you're lucky. You have kids. This can mess them up more than anything if you're not careful. You need to be thinking about them first! Not yourself! |
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Killer Queen
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Well, of course you feel sorry for him. And guilty. Listen, it took both of you to create the situation, not just you. He doesn't have anything to offer you. He's not stable. He needs to get a job and get his own place. He may be too dependent on you and you like that. Feeling needed.
You need to just force thoughts of him away and get back to your real life with your husband and children. They are the ones who really need you. That other man is an adult and can take care of himself.
But your feelings are normal. Just don't give in to them. |
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Krystal M
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First of all I love your question lol..
Secondly I feel that you might have feelings for him but they aren't as strong as the ones you feel for your husband also the sympathy might make it seem like it's even stronger towards this guy. You are married and you have two children you have already made a mistake by cheating, don't make the mistake by breaking up a happy home or making it worse then things are. If you are unhappy with your present situation of begin married find a way to move on. BUT if that's not the case and this affair was just something to do..and you really do see that your husband is who you want to be with then you need to be an adult and tell this other guy that you have a family and you can't leave them. When you tell him be extremely sincere. It take two to tango and i understand you feel bad but BOTH of you knew the consequences and his might have been worse then yours but that's just how the cookie crumbled and he will have to deal with it and move on. Good Luck Love and Best Wishes!
-Krystal |
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bjpooldog
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Watch Bridges of Madison County that will help you to decide, but have a box of tissues handy, you already know what you should do,remember your actions will effect your babies lives as well |
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Beagle_Boy
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You made mistake and you admitted it, that's a start. Your husband and your family are your priority right now.
He has to fend for himself. "Being there for him" will only make things worse.
It will not be easy but you have to focus on healing your marriage. Put others feelings before yours. |
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Amanda C
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Your not going to get a real answer for your question because noone can understand what the he** your asking. Learn to type and speak English properly, then I'll try to help you. |
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Deber
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Feelings are irrelevant. Do what is right, regardless. |
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PEACHES & CREAM
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After reading the answers you've received so far, I know it's stupid so I'm not gonna' bother reading this..LOL |
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alrozz
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Valerie is giving you hell...lmao
Okay, do this, close your eyes and click your heels together...there's no place like home.
Home is where you will find your answer sweety:) |
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ms.native pride
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GOOD GRIEF GIRL,YOU DONE GOT 18 ANSWERS LAST TIME YOU ASKED THIS.WHAT YOU WANT US TO TELL YA??CLEAR OUT A ROOM IN THE HOUSE & MOVE YOUR LOVER IN?SURE TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND,TELL HIM THE POOR GUY'S STORY,HE GOT JOB,NO PLACE TO STAY & IT'S ALL MY FAULT.I'M SURE YOUR HUBBY WILL SAY,"SURE HONEY,I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM TOO"IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED US TO TELL YA?WELL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. |
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Sam
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well im sorry to say this but ur questioned isnt answered many times because its really not good... Your just guilty and no courage to face what you really want. Ask yourself what you really want and you know what to do then. But figuring out what you want and doing it is another thing. You have to be strong and face and most of all accept w/ all your heart what life is waiting for you on what you decide to be w/ That's all I can say. I think you must be thinking how??? If that is you have to fix your head first before posting again here. If you feel that your in love w/ the other guy nobody can help you here because even if we advice you, you'll not gonna listen. Good Luck!! |
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Santo R
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What did you say????? What did she say??????? |
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Slim's Mom
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First of all I'm having a hard time following all this because of the way it's written. I think I understand the basics of it though. Honestly, I don't know what advice to give you. You are the married one, right? Now he was the single one that is alone. I'm not going to say that I haven't considered cheating. Things have been so bad I've thought about it but have not acted on it because of messed up situations like this that result- for both parties. That's one reason you have to look at what can happen to everyone involved before you do things. It's better to spend more time trying to resolve a marriage one way or the other BEFORE you mess up things for all parties. |
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confused001
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You betrayed your marriage. I think you are being untrue to your husband and your marriage because you have feelings for this other guy. You are being selfish to everyone including yourself. What you did was wrong, but you can't make a marriage work if you are in love with someone else. I think the best thing for you is to leave your husband and Take time for yourself to figure out what you want and who you want. Then you'll be a lot happier, Good luck:) |
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Adult 
Gambling
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