How do I Get my in-laws to move out!?

Okay....This probably happens a lot but I am so frustrated at home....My in-laws lost their job last year and have been living with us ever since (for free). And to make matters worse my sister-in-law and her family (boyfriend and 2 kids) came to live with us for what is supposed to be temporary but has been 3 months already. I hate my home life! My mother-in-law acts as if i'm living in her house and rearranges all of my furniture all the time, moves things after i've decided where i wanted to leave it all while we are at work. She had a job but quit after a couple of months because she says it was too stressful and he collects unemployment but they don't seem to be to concerned about finding another job or better yet a house to live in! To make it worse whenever i have a day off and i'm at home they lock themselves in their room and stay in there all day, even eating their lunch in there like i'm not worthy of their presence and it really bugs me. We recently just told my fiancees sister that they needed to start paying rent because they don't seem to be making a move on getting their own place and now they are acting all pissed off because we don't want to support them anymore...How do I tell all of them that they need to find their own place? Please Help Me!!!

Anna

Where is your man in all of this???
It is he who needs to lay down the law with you.

I suggest a family meeting. You all sit down one evening with some snacks around a big table. Then you and your man as a team say very kindly and politely and as concerned about them as possible (even if u have to fake it) :
" You know... and I love you guys very much. We consider ourselves very fortunate that we have you as our family. It has been good having you guys here and we are happy we could help. However, we feel that its becoming too much of a good thing and we miss our private life and we feel it is very crowded here. We realize the economy is bad but this living together for such a long time is starting to hurt our relationship and we feel that maintaining good relationships is the most important thing for everybody's sake. We feel that it will be better for everyone to live seperately in the near future."

Then they will probably ask when you guys want them out and set a deadline and have everyone agree to it. And I would suggest even though its kinda hard, four to five months from now so they do not feel pushed out and they feel like you care. Even offer to help in the search for a new place and job search.

Then in a seperate meeting, talk to your mother in law alone about the rearranging of the furniture. Also don't see it as a mean intentional act. I think she is from her perspective trying to make thing look nicer for you. I think it makes her feel like she is contributing somehow. Also the fact that they are locking themselves in the room when ou are home, is not because you are unworthy of their time, but because they are in your house and do not want to intrude and disturb you on your day off. And you know what, ask her! " Why do you rearrange all my furniture" Listen then say something like "thank you for your kind thoughts but really, I would prefer it to be in the way I decorated it initally".

Good luck I hope it works out soon

Lazlo

House guests are like fish, they should be thrown out after a week.
Here's a hint: People can't take advantage of you if you don't let them.

Sophiesmom

I would put in writing they have so much time to find another place to live...If they get mad oh well, they cant stay with you forever and need to get on with their lives.

iyamacog

You and your mate need to stick together on this one......Both of you need to make it clear to ALL your 'house guests', that they must All start paying X amount, by X date. If that is not possible, then they must move out by that X date.
Ok, by now you know what it's costing you over your normal living expenses. So you make the stated amount for over those expenses, to cover some of the time they've been there. They will not be happy. But it doesn't matter. You will wind up to be the 'bad guy'. That's usually how it works in situations like this.

cassmac

I really feel for you as the same thing happened to me .[well almost the same] You need to talk to your husband as they are his family tell him you cannot go on living like this any longer and tell him to give them a time limit for them to move . even if it is 3 months you will be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. If you don't do this then they will stay as why would they move as they have it so easy. If your husband doesn't do that then tell him you will leave and do it if you have to. Don't be afraid to tell them how you feel as you can't hurt free loaders feeling if you do well stiff luck , P.S my visitors came for 6 weeks and stayed for 3 years untill I spat the dummy , WE ARE FRIENDS AGAIN NOW.

lmcd_jsx

Sit them down and say listen, This is my home, I was happy to help for a while but you have really pushed it past any acceptable limits. Give them 30 days and if they aren't out remove their things and change the locks. In my opinion they are being rude rude rude.

Brunette wife

Tell them they have 30 days to make other living arrangements and stick to that plan.

If they cant find a place in that time then they should move into a motel until they find something.

brianna_617

Simple. put cyanide in their toothpaste. works everytime. soon you'll be in-law free, maybe have a felony but at least u have an empty house:)

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