How do I calm my husband when he panics?

donotbuyakia

You talk to him in a calm, reassuring voice. Do not say anything that he can construe as criticism. Make 'I' statements. I need for you to calm down. I want you to take a deep breath. That kind of thing. Say it slowly and repeatedly. He will start to settle. Then start talking about what he is ranting about. There is nothing to be nervous about. I am right here with you. I am not going anywhere. I will make sure you are safe. You will feel like a broken record, but it takes the repetition to get through to him.

Sara W

I feel bad for you, and terrible for your husband. I have had panic attacks for 20 years and the first few years it was awful. The LAST thing your husband needs is to be slapped. When I panic, I need someone who is calm and sympathetic. Be kind to him and try to distract him. Talk to him about things he loves. Get him interested in a movie, a TV show. Offer to take him somewhere he likes to go in the car. Distraction is good for people in a panicky mode. Ask him to help you do something in the kitchen, help you fold clothes, anything that will take his mind off his feelings. Feelings of panic can be really intense. You can diffuse them with practice. He will be very appreciative of your help - I know I am grateful for people who stood by me when I had a really rough time of it.

DGNFY

I have never had to deal with this myself so this answer is not from experience. Do you know what the things are that trigger the attacks. Is it a state of mind, like a mood he gets in or is it a certain noise or visual stimulant? I would say if you can figure that out then you might have a better idea of what to say to him during an attack. Like if it is a loud noise, you could explain what the loud noise really was and try to comfort him. Is this from a military experience? Maybe you could try to talk to an Army buddy of his to try to figure out if others are having the same issues, maybe some other Army wives would have some advice. Good Luck!

shatz

be strong. if he is harmless comfort him him like a child if possible hug him tight that he could feel that he is important to you

Erica

Is he getting any help with this? Counseling? Medication? First you need to back off and talk to him when he comes out of it. Let him know you are ALWAYS there for him. Console him and let him know you love him. And try to get him help. If he is already getting help, go with him to the appointments and get professional advice on what to do next time.

Elizabeth

just calmly talk to him, and hug him and just try to comfort him as much as possible

good luck

noitall

What about medication? Does he take anything for his panic attacks? I would definitely discuss this with the therapist, ASAP. How horrible for you to feel so helpless. What about just holding him and talking calmly to him. That's usually how you would treat a child in that condition. You can also make an appointment with your family doctor for meds.

aquarius

It's good that you are going with him to the therapist. You can work out strategies so that when the attacks happen you both know what to do.

You are also right to not to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. Slapping him is not a good idea but I'm sure he feels desperate too.

Try to keep yourself calm while he is stressing, easier said than done.
If you feel in danger or like it's too much for you, leave for awhile. Let him know ahead of time this is what you'll be doing.

Work with the counselor to know what to do. Call the counselor today and ask for help over the phone.

godisgood

Just talk to him in a soothing voice and just let him know that you love him. Lots of hugs..I wish you luck.

loca_liisa

I feel you shoud take him to a second opinion doctor to check about his medicine. Maybe it is not strong enough. And to slap him is wrong. He might just snap in his rage of panic. You should never do that. You are putting yourself in harms way. I do recommend another doctor to have him evaluated. Until then, I do not know what you should do. Maybe try to talk calmly with him as he has these attacks. Tell him it's okay and then tell him to look (at whatever he is talking about) and show him that "See, it's okay". I'm sure you have done everything you can think of. But I really suggest a doctor and stronger meds. Good luck to you.

elecheart

Poor guy, it sounds intense. I have been in similar states, had counselling and such. Time can heal to a certain extent. He sounds really lost. All you can do is let him go through it and help him find the right help for him. ln that state you mention, l would just hold him tight, if he will let you and wait for it to subside. Let him feel safe.

Gloâ˜…

You need to speak with his therapists for ideas that are calming and helpful. As well it is great that he is seeking therapy for this issues. Be patient and hang in there. I am sure the therapist will be able to assist you with some helpful advice.

JetP

try music - something calming like classical or meditation music/sounds.

Effin Trolls

Learn a few choke holds. Nothing like an oxygen withdrawal to reset a human brain. You don't have to knock him out just change his priorities. It's much better than a slap because instead of a shock it's much more like waking up. You can restrict air and blood flow until you achieve the required result. If a slap doesn't work all you can do is hit him again, harder.

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