How do I deal with emotional trauma of leaving my husband?

johnnysunshine11

It's called self control. If you don't have it now you need to muster it and quit reliving the same things over and over in your head. You said he can be a great guy...can be. But he can be verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. Isn't that worth you leaving him over? It should be. If it's not keep in mind the name calling, beating and crying you've done in the past to keep a relationship with an unstable madman who's poisoned your life. You deal with it by realizing you can't continue to treat yourself like garbage much as he has and will continue to.

IQ lady

This will be hard but close your eyes and picture him being absuive to you.HE IS NOT A GREAT GUY!!!! Makes you shiver doesn't it.
That's your answer.
You deserve better and being married to somone does not give them the right to abuse you.You left for a reason and you need to remember that.If you want to go back then nobody can stop you but this will be your life!!!
You are strong enough as you've already left and you may be afraid but you are in control now of your life and your destiny.
Go live your life the way you want to.

YOU CAN DO THIS! I know this because it happened to me too and i'm the happiest i've ever been in my life.

JennT

Reimind yourself everytime you think of going back about the bad things that he has done to you. Take the time that you now have to write down the things you have gone through and re read them when you have the urge to run back to him.

marty

When you get the urge to call him - remember why you left him. If he was abusive, then remember those times, keep yourself safe and stay away,
M

krinkn

He broke his marriage vows to you with his behavior. He was not behaving like a husband. Husbands do not yell and scream. They do not break things or hit their wives to enforce their will.

He didn't do his part.

I suggest you find a support group for domestic violence in your area as soon as possible. There you will find the advice and help you need to make it through this tough time.

Stay strong and keep safe.

miss molly

Just ask yourself do I really want to live a life where I am verbally,emotionally and physically abused all the time. Or do I want to feel loved, want and needed. IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

Look into the mirror everyday and tell yourself I am a good person and I deserve a better life.

I AM NO ONES PUNCHING BAG I AM GOING TO BE STRONG.

good luck

leslie k

You remember the bad things and never look back. For me I remember the day he held a gun to my head, later he said it was not loaded but I will never know the truth. I was even told the common one if he could not have me no one would... he would kill any man I dated or married. We are strong enough to move forward. I met many men who ran from fear of my ex... one said he would always be there for me and to protect me, now we have been married for 8 months. There is a rainbow, just smile and good things will happen.

George C

I'm going thrugh a similar situation, and here are some things that I suggest...

At a bare minimum you need to get some emotional support from friends and family, in order to build up your inner strength and confidence. You need to believe in yourself and have the courage that you can live without him...

I also strongly suggest getting counselling. If you allow yourself to be treated this way, then you may have a problem as well. This may include getting medication to help you with your grief. In my opinion, there is no shame in this, and it is a better option than going back into an abusive relationship. This is not saying that you'd have to stay on it forever...

Scott

Well before you leave you better make sure that your reasons for leaving are greater then the reasons that you have for currently being there. Because after you leave thats all you will be able to think about..... unless you decide to focus your mind on something else as soon as you see, smell or hear some thing that makes you think of him.

good luck

btw dont just jump into another relationship its irresponsible and it doesnt help you in the long run. Make sure you have resolved your feeling for him before your start a new one.

marheather

Get out and about. Have a girls night out with girlfriends you can trust. Go for it Girl !!!

ladyren

This is why the beaten dog continues to return to the place where he is continuously beaten.... this must be you.

And you won't likely be able to change unless you get some help.

Helper

Find a great counselor sweetie, find some good friends that are supportive. Your life will be better in the long run for this. I know how hard it is, it is gut wrenching and heart breaking. Do not resort to finding someone to replace him, take your time, get centered, find out who you really are and live life to its fullest, life is too short to be in an abusive relationship.

lovelysmurf

Abuse is never O.K. Were you abused in your childhood? Because it is typical that the victim makes excuses, just like people who have been conned refuse to admit they were the fool. You are straight up seeing it, admitting it, writing it in yahoo answers, stand up, you could be missing the boat--the longer you stay with this man who cannot love, the longer you are missing out on a relationship with a man who will give you what you need. Violence is the last straw of a desperate person, and don't you let anybody tell you any different! Let him go, he is an abuser, in every way. Wake up, you are living a lie.

CCme

Focus on what you really want out of life. You deserve to be happy no matter what. It sound like you really care for him, but there are things going on that's making your marriage complicated. If you can't work it out, and you all have tried everything. Call upon your family and friends to help you through these troubling times. It's not easy but you have to tell yourself you deserve better and trust yourself to do better.

Good luck my friend.

Lovebug123

So you MARRIED that man, you married the WRONG MAN FOR YOU. You keep in mind the terrible things he has done to you, that will give you the strength to move on.

hustlegrl22

That's difficult. But you have to find the strength. If he loves you than he would not be abusive. Whenever you think about going back to the marriage, think about why you left him in the first place. Good luck.

Pooh Bear

did u divorce or just sparated? if you are separated call him nd tell him you just need time to think about it. its never to late to find someone else. if you find that you dont wanna be with him than you jsut have to move on. but if u are divorce than u just need to move on unless you really cant do it anymore than definatly be with him bcuz when u love some thing nd it goes away but it comes running back then its ment to be but if it doesnt return than its not. it is hard to leave someone you have loved or love for a long time.

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