How do I get my husband to grow UP?

My husband only works 20 hrs a week I know its better than nothing but then I come home from a full day an I am expected to care for our 9 month old, cook dinner, pack lunches, dishes, laundry everything. If I ask for help it is like pulling teeth. I feel like I married a 14 yr old, I have to remind him to shower, brush his teeth, pick up after him self, take out the trash, everything I Feel LIKE I'm HIS MOTHER!!! I just dont know what to do I've talked to him many many times, he won't or can't keep a better job because he does everything so SLOW. He will help after I NAG at him and if we have a talk he will help for a day or 2 then thats it help me I feel like I'm going to get a divorce in a few years and I love him but I cant put up with this for the rest of my life, I'm trying i thought the honeymoon was suppose to last at least a yr its only been 10 months and it has been SO HARD! what do I do?

First of all, you have an absolute right to expect more. Second of all, that doesn't matter. What you want is to be happy. I'm going to give you my thoughts on how to do that.

It certainly does sound like your husband might have a few issues. However, there are two problems with nagging him: 1) It certainly doesn't make either of you feel good about the other, and 2) If his problem is that he has trouble taking care of things on his own, you're just reinforcing that idea in his head.

I would suggest therapy, if he's willing. The two of you should go together, so you can both improve a relationship that clearly isn't healthy.

I would also suggest that you encourage his good behaviors instead of criticizing his bad ones (even if it IS a lot easier to find bad behaviors). You can let him know how much you like it when he helps out more, or does what he's supposed to do - bake him cookies, play out that fantasy of you being a nurse that he's always wanted...The point is, you want to encourage him to improve. (Again, many people might think that it's ridiculous to reward him for what he should already be doing. The point here is that you simply want to encourage him to do more things on his own, and become more self-motivated).

Good luck!

life goes on

Put your foot down and tell him yo grow up get a real man job /help with the work/ and what ever else you need help with if he doesn;t kick him out.
You have one baby you don;t need 2.

missy p

have you kicked him in the azz lol joking but seriously try reverse psychology on him quit doing everything for him then he'll have to step up and hopefully will

ragdoll1959

I am sure you knew what you were getting into before you married him. Did you think you would change him? You will not be able to change him,and you will only get more resentful.Seems he did find a new mom and now his friends won't tease him for living at home. Tell him that if he doesn't make an effort that you will leave and then follow through with your threat. Good luck

Marinewifey

Unfortunantly men like that will never grow up. You may love him, but all he wants is a mommy back in his life. And that is exactly what you are to him. Leave him. You obviously have all of the financial responsibilities and are handling them fine so go about your own life. It will just be easier on you. Everything is easier said than done but it will be better for you and the children in the long run. Good luck

raspberryph

Sounds like you got married to too early. Sit down and have a serious talk. Or just stop doing some things like packing his lunch, dinner, his laundry. Tell him that he can use a few hours a week to help you out. Just plain don't do those things until he appreciates them and helps.

Dude

If he was this way before the marriage, then don't expect it to change any time soon. These are things that should be worked out before marriage.

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