How do I get my husband to quit pot?

Karin C

If you wanted a husband who didn't smoke pot, you shouldn't have dated a man who smoked it.

You cannot force someone to change. He is who he is. If you cannot live with him the way he is, leave him and learn from the experience. When you start dating again after the divorce, know what your "dealbreaker" issues are and don't date people who have those issues.

mimzy

If threats don't work, then you have no choice but to leave or ask him to. Sounds like pot is more important than his family.

niteinshining

You cant.

leabone75

did he smoke before you married him? if he did you knew what you were getting into. you have to tell him exactly how you feel and if he doesn't stop then you have to decide what you can live with or without.

Andrea M

leave him

Tina P

You can't make him stop... if he is addicted he will only stop when he is ready and has made that decision for himself. I know its hard... I deal with addiction in my family as well. Join a support group such as alanon which will help you to cope and give you some much needed stress relief.

stupendous

Did he smoke pot before you married him? What made you think getting married would change any habits? There is nothing you can do or say to make him change, it has to come from within him. As for spending a third of his income on weed, this would not be too bad if he has a huge income.

So your sort of stuck, a child, no job, and at least your bum of a hubby works and provides you a roof over your head. You love him, wish he would see things your way, and pray that he'll change.

If it is so bad you can't deal with it any more, then take steps to getting out. Personally it sounds like he doesn't take too well to responsibility, so in the long run it might end things for you two. If you leave him, there is the possibility that he could come to his senses, realize what he is giving up, and straighten up. Slim chance, but it is there. The other choice is you remain in your rut, probably have another child or two, and nothing else changes but time.

jaded

when people cant buy food this loser is spending the family money on dope? and you have a baby?

think you have a problem now? wait until junior decides it is ok for he too to be a pothead, like father like son.

you married him and at some point i assume you liked the lifestyle. your big mistake. threats wont work? why would they? he doesnt focus on anything for more than a second.

i dont care what you do. but i do have a question. how is it that he spends a third of 'his' income on weed. isnt it your family income?

that is the problem right there. how is it that you are 'married' yet he functions as a single man who spends 'his' money mostly on dope?

set down with him and work out a family budget. one that allows NO money for dope. that is how you do it.

if you have no idea what i am talking about buy the suze orman book women and money.

threats wont work? cause you dont do what you say you will do, and he knows he can do what he pleases.

Ashley M

You could report him. or steal his drugs and flush them.

J C

I love smoking reefer but spending a third of your income is a bit much.

NJD26

what kind of husband would but his family and wife in that situation? I would'nt stay with someone who would risk their life and lungs for such a reason...threaten to leave him and if he does'nt get it thru his head then the threat becomes reality.

northbaygranny

This is a very hard question to answer. Everyone is different, but my opinion is. Once a druggie, always a druggie. I had the fantasy of my husband quiting .I tried everything, including lying to myself and turning a blind eye. Unfortunatly 30 yrs. later he still does it very occationally but I watch the negitive effects it had and has on his and others lives. I have watch all his friends and famiy, including myself give up on him. He had no one. Drugs, a little or a lot will eventually in some way destroy. I hope you are a strong person, good luck to you.

mr pickle

He is not the husband you had before. What you have now is a drug addict. Different steps need to be taken such as intervention to resolve your problem. This is different than giving him threats.

SledgeHammer

Tuff one...With all the responsibilties of wife, child and bread winner would normally suggest GIVE UP TIME to most.Sounds like he is more than a social user. Which is a sad. Pot is not usually expensive so it sounds like he uses a LOT! if he spends as much as you say.

If he is accident prone, threatening, violent or borderline schizo then it is a REAL problem and you need to distance the child and yourself from him.

However pot users tend to be chilled and laid back.Chatty even....BUT not violent thugs or even irresponsible parents.
There could be worse things he could be doing for the same amount of money or even more...

I am not going to judge this guy and condemn him as the other contributors have done..Cant believe someone suggested "Leave Him" above. That is immature and misinformed view.For God sakes you have a child together and there is no way leaving him will resolve the situation (guessing of course that you have strong feelings for each other?)
I think you have shown maturity in asking the question to strangers. But in the end the decision has to come from HIM. Getting him in trouble or "Leaving Him" GURANTEED will open Pandoras Box...anything could then happen including distancing your relationship and complex issues of the child etc etc...

Speak to him and tell him you are concerned. Give him examples of irresponsible scenarios...which could have been handled better if he was nt "stoned" at the time. Make him aware how and when it is affecting family life and let him give him a chance to resolve this.

Ultimatums are not the solution here.

Best of Luck

Logan W

This is a pretty serious problem. You don't need to threaten - but you need to have a serious, sober talk. He does need to make a choice, and if he loves pot more than his family, he might be a lost cause.
But tell him that he's willing to work to make your lives better, that you'll be there to support him during the most difficult parts of his withdrawl.
I'd also recommend that you give him one night a week to 'party'. If he has that one thing to look forward to it might help him focus during the rest of the week. Everyone needs a way to relax and blow off steam - but the focus should be on quality rather than quantity. Every day is just too much.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

vis

sorry he will not stop until he wants to..my bf ex gf left him and took their children because he would not stop..a yr or so later we got together and we were together 3 yrs or before he stopped, i don't smoke it, but he did and i never asked him to stop and one day he did..money was the reason and my daughter running around with her camera taking shots at him while he was doing it..he got scared any way he stop,lol it did not matter if he hid.she found him

misskelleygirl

I'd sit him down...when he's sober...and ASK HIM to cut it down a bit.

Make him understand...without threats or attacking him verbally...that you're worried. That you miss him being around as Normal (And not high)...

Ask him to cut down (But not quit) for you...for your son...for your family.

Make him understand gently...without malice, and he may actually listen.

Ouch..

Oh, man, I have been through the exact same thing.
All I did was tell him that I didn't like him being high all of the time, and that it was immature. Maybe tell him that you're scared that he's going to get caught. Or that he's spending way too much on it.

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