How do I get over being hurt?

My boyfriend and I will celebrate our 1 year anniversary this summer. We did break up a couple of times but got together. Now our relationship is a lot better.

The problem I am having is he was involved with another woman when we were together. It was an emotional affair but it hurts just as much as a physical affair.

He has been doing everything right. He has been attentive, loving and caring. He has also keeps his word and is where he says he is going to be or doing. Now, I am not checking up on him. He is offering all of this on his own.

I am still very much affected by what happened and fear it will cause a rift between us. I know actions are supposed to speak louder than words however, I need to hear the words. I would like for him to recognize he did hurt me and to say he is sorry or feels bad for what had happened. I am NOT saying he needs to apologize profusely.

How can I get past this?

Oh, do not say get over it already. If you have not experienced this and have nothing productive to say, then this question isn't for you.

Thanks for any positive suggestions.
Additional Details
Banana: I am glad you got 2 points and that sh*t off your fcuking chest. Now, if you need to, then GOOGLE emotional affair. Then read the article. After that, join the REAL world.

hakred

I don't blame you for being hurt, if he loved you he wouldn't have had an affair of any kind. You don't lose, and suddenly regain love for someone.. and your love is only for one person. You're telling me he hasn't even apologized for it? You deserve better, and better will come. He doesn't love you, and you deserve to be loved. Good luck.

One more thing.. if anyone has told you to "get over it already", DON'T.. it IS a big deal and not something you can get over quickly. (Emotional affairs in my opinion are worse than physical affairs, because that means they are having feelings for someone other than you.)

Zahra N

do something that is convenient to you and not a big step so take baby steps and be happy..who cares about guys? if he hurt you like that then he doesn't deserve you

1234

u mean he was talking about feelings with another woman and u found out and he DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? how is that possible? why re u together then still? of course he should apologize and u should inform him how much u re hurt inside STILL. and after he apologizes u see whether u can forgive him or not. otherwise it will be gnawing at your brains and driving you crazy and u will start arguing with him about every little thing. if u feel even a slightest problem with anything - talk it through. it might not help but at least u unload that weight off your chest and onto his

Anthony

Dear Antonia K,

I think your boyfriend loves you very much. He has disclosed his all to you and been loyal, true, attentive and loving. I feel you need to let these feelings of fear go and enjoy each other to the fullest. Live is too short. Let him enjoy the love you have for him and I am sure he will be a true loving and faithful mate.

Anthony

Beth

You need to hear the words. But isn't that why you are back together? Hasn't he already apologised? If all of this hasn't been sorted out, you need to commence the dialogue. You will never be able to get past this until, everything has been discussed and you have heard what you need to hear. Tell him exactly what this is and how you are feeling. If he is being loving and caring and has made up his mind about you and the relationship, he will do everything he can to keep you. Good luck.

Banana

Okay so he didn't cheat on you, right? Please define an "emotional affair". To a crazy girlfriend that could mean being nice to a co-worker. So you're hurt and you want to hear the words and you want him to be sorry? For what exactly? Having contact with any other female on the planet? Sorry but this doesn't make any sense. You should probably clarify what he did wrong if you are expecting sympathy.

EDIT: Sorry but googling didn't do much. You have still not defined what that means to you. I take it that many people have had nothing "productive" to say to you or you wouldn't have added that little stipulation to answering your question. It's a free forum & you have explained nothing. And BTW as far as joining the "real world" . . . what world is that? The world where your boyfriend cheats on you? Sorry about your luck but not all of us have to deal with this. You might want to take a check on your ugly personality. I have a high suspicion that you're getting cheated on for a reason. You're obviously unpleasant to deal with. Good luck with that :-)

ourjacobdavid

like you said, he did have an affair and you are not married.

Tim

AmBeautiful

You will get over it when you understand, WHY he did it. When I was cheated on I didnt get over it until then. I found out the guy just was addicted to the attention from other women. You may be feeling like you are somehow at fault. You should go out in public with him around other women and really watch him.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: