How do I help her get over her fear of committment?

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How do I help her get over her fear of committment?
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I had been dating this girl for about 3 months and then she called me one night and said she wasn't happy and didn't know why. I've been wanting to get back together with her and she said she wants that too but needs to make sure it's done right because she doesn't want to ruin things.

I asked her older sister about it and she told me it's because she's been hurt repeatedly and I'm leaving to go to University of Washington (20 minutes from her house) next year. Her last bf went to UW and broke up with her after joining a frat.

I called her last night and asked why she was being distant lately. She said part of it's the trust issues. I told her I wanted a committed long term relationship and that if I'm going to be committed that I need to get that in return. she said she can't think long term.

She still texts me every day saying "hey whatsup". 3 weeks ago she came over and watched a movie and we ended up making out for 15 minutes. She left and said we couldn't do that again until we know for a fact that we're getting back together.

What is the problem here? There are no other guys in the picture. I'm 100% sure of that. How do I fix it?

angeloneus

If you want this girl and you want a committed relationship, you need to make the committment first. She is going to be distant until you prove your worth. I made my husband prove he wouldn't leave me through 4 years of living together then long distance relationship then back together before I would marry him because I had been hurt so badly before. She is scared.If she is worth it, you have to be brave and step up to the plate and say, it WILL happen. Then follow through. There is not room in this relationship for you BOTH to be insecure. Is she the one for you, or not? If she is, do it. If maybe not, don't

Beth

Go with your gut instinct on this one. If you weigh it up and she's worth waiting for, be patient. Tell her you'll give her all the time she needs. Tell her this is your commitment to her. Interestingly, you haven't mentioned the word love in your details. Weigh this up too. Good luck.

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