How do I know if he's Mr Right, or Mr Right Now?

...and please do not say "You will know"

because I have been engaged twice to two different people, and canceled both weddings because I was afraid.... and/or too young and not ready...

I have thought I have been with "the one" a few times, but then I am filled with overbearing doubt and fear that the future wont be happy.

I have huge trust issues.

Now I am dating someone... for 7 months... and he definitely acts like he is in it for the long-haul, but every thing he does that annoys me, makes me want to turn around and walk away.

But I think he may be Mr Right...

But then when I get scared and have doubts, I automatically HOPE he's only Mr. Right Now, because I want to end things.

I know I have problems... but what do I have to keep in mind, to remain happy?

How do I know if he's Mr Right, or Mr Right Now?

Brother Otter

How you know is if after two years, when the "in love" wears off, you two are willing to stick it out and work through things.

You have two choices about a partner's annoying habits: learn to look at them as charming idiosyncrasies, or you can be pissed off and be resentful. Your choice.

Be assured that NOBODY will mesh with you 100%. The point of being in a long-term relationship is to grow up, and nobody really grows much when they're blissfully happy and comfortable.

Completly in love

The thing is no one is perfect so you need to realize that "Mr.Right" is going to have flaws and do things that annoy you. But the difference is when he is "mr.right" you will be able to look past all these small things and see how he is truly a wonderful man. It is true in a sense though, you do "know" when he is the one. I am engaged right now to the love of my life. He isn't perfect and some times I want to look at him and just ask him what the heck he is thinking.. but I would never doubt my relationship or love with him. I would NEVER think of him as "Mr.Right Now". I can NOT even begin to imagine my life without him. It hurts to think that way. That is the type of mind set I think it takes when you KNOW its "Mr.Right"... You love him no matter what. Hope this helped some..

smithlette

Trust is a big thing, and I am a person who takes a long time to trust as well, so I kind of feel where you are coming from.

Does he make you happy? Do you make him happy?
Do you feel safe with him?
Can you see yourself building a life and a family with him?
Does it feel right?

Trust your instincts. If your gut is telling you that you need to stick with him & see where it goes, then do it. Otherwise, you will kick yourself in the butt later for giving up someone you obviously care so much for.

Remember: You make your own happiness. You cannot depend on him to do that for you. Unless he give you a reason not to trust him, then let the trust build.

And I think if he were Mr. Right Now he wouldn't still be hanging around after 7 months.

Markus

Well unfortunately every person alive is going to have some quality that may be quirky to start, and eventually become so annoying you want to choke them, its a perspective issue. Plus you will always have doubts if that person is the "perfect" one, especially if you are looking for "perfection". No one is, and everyone will fall short of that causing doubt. If they make you happy and you have a good time, and feel mostly compatible great, otherwise, time to move on

Positive vibes

He will always be Mr Right Now because you will change and he might not.

Nicolette12764

Having trust issues are normal to have, especially when we're talking about being with someone for the rest of your life and in marriage.Relationships takes time, plenty of time for it to work out. And if it seems like he is in it for the long run he probably wants to commit early because he wants to be true, he wants to know he has someone that will be with him forever, or for other reasons that may or may not even at times be said.

That is why relationships take time because we can say to ourselves that he is the one or she is the one and then later down the road we find out you and that person weren't meant to be.

And about what makes you want to walk away, no matter how small it may be is important! You don't want to be with someone that hits you for example, and say that they are just playing with you. Who knows if that can be abuse later on, you feeling me?

And even you want to end things now, you shouldn't rush like I said relationships takes plenty of time- many months to years. It may be long but it's worth it when you do find if they are your "the one".

As for your doubts, dig deeper to what is making you doubt and try to sort them out by yourself, your "Mr. Right" in question, family and friends and God.

They usually know what's best and want you to be happy as you would want to be happy too.

I HOPE THIS HELPS!!! : )

Space Cadet #5

You are a J fanatic. (judging)
You need more P. (perceiving)

Read "Please Understand Me" by David Keirsey.

Invisigoth

Talk to a counselor and work on your trust issues. until you have dealt with those and know how to tell the difference between a trustworthy man and an untrustworthy man,any man you are with is only Mr Right Now.

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