How do I move on....?

Me and my husband fell in love over hills, but the problem was that he was my first love and I didn't know what was Real love. Plus I was 17. I though he was everything I wanted for the rest of my life and we had a kid by the time I turned 19. Out kid came out like the perfect little creation I could ever ask for. But our married relationship is going down the drain. see, when I decided I wanted to get married, the things that I thought mattered were looks, and personality. What I didn't sem to think of yet was, his education, work, respect to me as well as everyone else, not drinking and doing drugs. And now, i realize that he only cares about himself, is a huge pothead, does not know how to handle money, is mean to everyone, and is always lazy. The problem is that I still love him to death, but i think that I deserve to be happy so I want to move on so that we could still remain friends. Because if I stay, i'm either going to be miserable for the rest of my life, or we're gonna turn into an abusive couple and I don't want either one of those. Now that I'm twenty, no job, and a baby, how do I move on from marriage? I feel like the first week without him I'm going to go crazy... Can anyone help me?

jltong811

Well if you can move to a different place (maybe your parents) and just separate for a little bit to see how you guys are without each other. If its better apart than it speaks for itself. If you guys go insane and realize you guys mean the world to each other you then guys can go through marriage counseling. At least with that you can say you really did try to make it work.

Moving to a different state that you've always wanted to go after the divorce helps start a new life and new places to create new memories. Renewing yourself and learning from it to improve on future relationships would help you out.

Sorry your going through this. Know your worth and his worth to make your decision. Talk to him to know what he's willing to work on. Good luck to you.

Jane Marple

You're 20, you're still a child and you don't know more then when you were 19. In 10 years you can say you've come to a realization but not today. Today you're just being faced with reality of marriage, it's hard and it takes work. It would be the same with a different man.

You need to seek professional help. Don't give up on your marriage after a year. You're still in the process of adapting to each other and adapting to a new baby.

This man does not abuse you. He got into a lazy routine, it's fixable!

*havin fun in the sun*

yep isn't it funny how once priorities change when we get older. each day that goes by will get easier and easier. try to keep busy and every time you look at your baby, remind yourself that you are making a better life for you and your child. everyone deserves to be happy, treated with respect and be loved. you are very young and certainly can find true happiness for you and your child. things might seem a little rough at first and you will wonder if you have made the right decision to move on, but in time you will realize it was the best move you had ever made. good luck honey.

You have to think about the child first. What is best for the child. It may be tough, but it will be worth it. The toughest part is going to be whether or not the father wants to be a part of his child's life. He may not want to. But it will be ok. You need to tell him strait off "either you are going to be in our child's life or your not make up your mind now." good luck hun. I know you can do this.

al t

WHAT YOU WROTE HERE SHOULD BE PUBLISHED ON EVERY SITE ON-LINE ABOUT YOUNG RELATIONSHIPS..........hopefully, maybe someone can learn by your mistakes.........God help you.....PS....if he smokes pot at home and gets drunk at home and does nothing else, Child Protective Services can and may take your kid away from you...explain that to the moron.........tell him if it's between HIM or your CHILD, you will KEEP YOUR CHILD, and move on without him..........if he has parents, rat him out...after all, they are partially responsible on how he turned out.

â€¢ Leo â€¢

Do you have a degree? If not, focus on enrolling in a technical institute and earn one. So you will be able to financially support you and your child nicely. ITT Tech, and Everest is good. Once you're sure you can do that, and you've moved, consider a divorce, and then hit the road of forgetting. That's basically erasing things that reminds you of him, getting busy, and perhaps seeing other people. Yes, it will be hard, that's how all break ups are, but in the long run, you'll be happier, and so glad that you did. Now since that is his child, he may want to see them, so don't apprehend him from him doing so, because, more than likely it will hurt the child in the future. Hope everything goes well. Good luck!

No Way Jose

Sorry to hear your trouble. Moving on from a relationship like that is very hard I know - I broke up with my first boyfriend at 22, and we had dated since I was 17 and also had plans for the future. All I can say is that you will move on. It's going to be extra hard with a baby though and that will tie you together as parents. Would it be possible to have some marriage guidance counselling, to see if there is any chance that things could be improved on, as it would be a shame not to try. Your husband would have to face up to his drinking, drugs, etc. and accept some responsibility for this situation too then. Whatever happens just know that you can move on and you will move on in your life. It will take time though. I agree that if you are not happy there is no point in staying in a bad relationship, but at least if you try counselling you can say that you tried that too. Good luck and stay strong.

item jamir

now you need a support back up first, plan how long can you depend on your parent, search for a job to support yourself.

becos you might go back to your ex as you are financially dependent on him not out of love.

Ben

You will always Luv your first love , But you are not in Love with them . I think that everyone deserves to be happy with their selves . With a kid that is all that you have . Get a job & move on with your life . Be Happy about it . Best Of luck .

**** I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH MILDRED***

Beefy

well think about how it would be after the 1st week and see if you progress. If you don't think of other ways, if you want to be withhim think of other ways where you can be with him and be happy at the same time without money troubles and stuff around those areas,

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