How do I respond to my husband going on an exotic vacation for three weeks this year without me?

My husband went on a three week vacation to Italy last year with his father and step mother and I was not invited. Mostly because it was a payback to my husband for being a good son and it was kind of owed to him per his dad. At first I was hesitant and angry but later agreed it was for a good cause. We had agreed after that if his dad were to come to him again with this offer that he would decline or at least offer me the chance to go. Well, again, my husband's father asked him to go on a three week vacation this year again to Brazil and I was not asked again to go and I had already book our family's vacation on a cruise this summer and I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I was told that I'm being selfish for feeling the way that I do about this and I'm thinking that they are being selfish! If his father knew that he was going to be going on another vacation this year and wanted my husband to go wouldn't he have let us know in advance so that I would not have booked our vacation and saved my money so that I would have the opportunity to go? I'm so angry with his father that its driving a wedge between my husband and I. What should I do? I've been so patient and understanding but its not fair that I'm always being pushed to the back before his father. What do I do?

Danismum

something tells me this isn't the only time in your relationship your not treated fairly and it won't be the last.

Donna J

You should talk with your husband and let him know that you being left out is not acceptable. If his family would like to invite him on a vacation then you sould be inculded also or he should refuse to go. In the case of your family vacation this year your husband should decline the invitation by his parents and tell them truthfully that you already booked and paidfor a vacation with is wife! You are correct, this type of thing would drive a wedge between you and your husband. His parents should NEVER plan a vacation without inviting you. They do not have to PAY for your vacation but you should be included, invited and welcome to attend. Your husband chose to marry you and should include NEVER leave you out. If he feels he needs to go alone I HIGHLY suggest some counceling!

I think you stand your ground on this. There's a message being sent here, and that message says "You're not really a part of this family." Of course you're going to feel offended by that, and your husband shouldn't be shrugging off those feelings. Besides, you had a system for dealing with this in place from the last time, and he ignored it. Inform your husband and father-in-law that from now on, all family vacation decisions need to be run by your entire family first, or everyone will have to decline.

Nina

You already let him go once which was very generous of you, and something most women would not do.
His father is driving a wedge between you, it is probably deliberate. Tell him that if he prefers to be with his parents than with his wife and children for a holiday then your marriage is in real trouble.

Clementine

go on a three week vacation with your single girlfriends to Acapulco! lol They have no class! That is an aweful thing to do to invite him and not his spouse!

pooky

To an extent your husband is to blame coz he should make it clear 2 his father tht the 2 of u r an item n if he's planin 4 a vacation it shud b the 2 of u,or none.if it ws jus tht once thn its understandable bt its turning out 2 b a habit,n it won't go away until u gt a solution
Surely,whn it comes 2 marriage it can b very tricky whn it comes 2 involving family in it n most of the tyms u find urself being compromised.The person you should talk 2 is ur hubby,its not fair n ur not being selfish its ur right n ur hubby shud know tht ur a big part of him now tht u 2 r married.al the best

nicolita

I am so sorry you have such a baby for a husband. What kind of husband would not want to take his wife with him on a vacation???? OMG I think he should refuse this vacation and go with you on your cruise that you have booked for your own family.

If he doesn't then I think you should really have a good talk with that husband of yours.

Donna D

i would put my foot down and tell your husband he is going with his family on vacation if he doesn't want to go leave his selfish ***.

Cassius

What is your problem ? Are you angry at the slave leaving the plantage ? Give him some space you control freak.

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