How do I stop being so hard on myself?

Barb Outhere

You are failing to treat yourself as some one you love, as your own best friend.
Would you want a friend to continue to blame themselves a year later for a bad break up? Or would you be telling them its time to move on?
Would you want them to "punish" themselves by starvation? Wouldn't you want your friend to find healthier ways of dealing with frustration?
Wouldn't you be concerned that they work so hard and sleep so little? Wouldn't you want to want your friend to seek help because of this?
Wouldn't you be worried that the standards they set for themselves are impossibly high? That they deliberately set themselves up for failure over and over? Because they feel unworthy of success?
That there is something in themselves, in their past, that makes them feel unworthy of normal loving relationships/friendships? Wouldn't you want your friend to find something within themselves that they could be happy with, to be able to relax, to love, to be content in the person they are?
You would be telling your friend that their life is not healthy, either physically or mentally. You'd advise your friend to get help, and that you'd be there for them.
Be that friend to yourself.

curiouscanadian

Okay what you have to do here is work on your self esteem and I mean seriously work on your self esteem! Only then will you gain confidence and live life beyond your wildest dreams. The first thing for you to do is find friends - you do this by joining a night class you are interested in or finding a support group of like minded people. You could also join a young adults group at church. It wasn't until my mid 40's (now!) that I finally said enough is enough - something has to change here or I will be dead! Please please don't leave it as long as I did. I am only now finally at peace with myself. Good luck hun!

Veronica S

You are in college full time, and a full time job and get little sleep, is it any wonder you feel the way you do??? Seriously girl, this would be the reason you feel the way you do!

Crunchy Mama

You need faith in your life. Are you religious at all?

Farah

i think u have a serious problem,YES you r being SO HARD on yourself. why is that? u remind me of myself sometimes, when i get in a fight with my husband i don't eat until we are together again, and i think what i'm doing is so wrong. but in ur case u r WAAAAAAAY so wrong, why r u doing this 2 ur self?? u should live ur life with all the joy in it, u will never be in 20s again the ur age is passing and u r doing nothing but harming ur self, when u get old u will have no good memories to remember. live ur live take all the adventures u face, love yourself, think that u always deserve the better. please don't be so mean to ur self. find a partner and try to share with him every nice moment in ur life. u will never live twice. be strong u r the only one who can help u. don't waste ur life and youth.

Nena S

I agree with Crunchy Mama's answer....If we don't feel connected to God ( however you see Him), you will not have inner peace and you won't be able to accept yourself, flaws and good things as well.

You are young, but mature enough to understand you need to make important changes in your life- soon. Don't waste any more time thinking about what feels wrong; make a list of good things you have and focus on them.

Count your blessings-- Remember the Chinese saying: "I felt miserable because I had no shoes...until I saw a man who had no feet"? There will always be people with bigger and harder problems around, but we tend to focus on ours instead. It's part of being human.

Seek professional help, like a counselor or a therapist. ( If money is an issue, see if you can join a support group. Many churches offer this service, free of charge.)

Even if you are not a religious person, God will help you and guide you if you humbly ask Him to. I'm serious. If I told you all the things I've been through and how He led me towards Him, you'd be amazed! ( I'm not a religious fanatic, BTW. Just an ordinary woman.)

Your post makes me wonder about your self-esteem. Why do you feel you are not good enough? Compared to whom? Our society bombards us with ideas that are not realistical.We are told that we should be beautiful, successful, rich, married, have wonderful, perfect children....and that is just stupid.

Life is hard, and it is not fair, either. And the sooner we accept ourselves and learn to love who we are, the better off we will be.

So..Yes, you are OK. Everybody feels like you do....and some people are late bloomers. They understand it's fine to not be perfect and not to live by society's standards later in life.

Good luck. You need to sleep more, and take care of yourself more. Remember...We cannot give what we do not have.

So don't spread yourself thin, and take proper care of your body and mind and soul.

You need support. Loosen up a bit, you've only got one life to live.

Klar S

yes you are too hard on your self, never think that you are not good enough, what you think of your self effects the though of other people towards you, if you think of ur self as bad, failure etc, then this is exactly what they will think of you, when i read about you as you say, i can tell you that your a hard worker, you really work hard and trust me i don't even do half of it you work and study, and im sure your good at it, i only study and find it really hard, don't be sooo hard on your self...and about the guy, try something new meat other people change your life style, save money at the end of each month do some thing for your self, reward your self a massage for example, boudycare and the other Relaxing stuff you deserve it, all this will make you feel Beautiful...

nanakschd

You are writing on your own wall, what you say to yourself is what you begin to believe and act out. Start looking at the other side of the coin. Tell yourself how proud you are of your accomplishments no matter how small they are start looking at yourself as a success. Say hi to strangers be good to yourself . Would you verbally beat up a stranger like you beat up yourself. Heck no !!! Then don't do it to yourself, treat yourself at least as good as you would treat a friend. Good Luck, you sound like you have a lot going for you. Lighten up and enjoy life.

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