How do I tell my husband about my affair and keep my marriage too?

Ontheotherhand

That's like asking how you can ram your car into a bridge at 60mph, without scratching the paint. But, assuming you're serious the only hope you have is to be honest. Perhaps he'll forgive you, unless it was a long term affair, unless it was a friend of hubby's, and unless the affair happened mainly to hurt hubby. The chances are better IF it was just a one time thing, rather than long term, but affair implys more than just a drunken mistake. We are free to make choices, but we are never free of the consequences of our choices. Don't be too hopeful about your marriage. At the very least, your relationship will never be the same. Unless of course, you can arrange a lobotomy for hubby.

Terry K B

I f you want to keep your marriage and are confident that you won't succumb to temptation again, don't tell him.

miss.d

that's a hard one, cause if you don't tell him someone else might do it, and if you tell him hes gonna to be pissed....... what's the reason you did? just tell him you did something real bad, and tell him the reason........ and hope and pray he will not leave, it will be better if you tell him not someone else........ good luck.

kny390

You may not be able to keep your marriage after you talk to your husband.

angel

you shouldn't expect to keep your marriage. If you wanted your marriage then you should have never cheated

ben and lisa h

An affair is something that YOU kept going! Are you truly sorry?? Or are you guilty? There is no one that can keep your marriage EXCEPT your husband! You have to tell him if you truly want things to work. Then things may come together for you both, or not! You not only cheated, you had an Affair. 2 diff. things! If you want your marriage to work {honestly} tell him and do whatever he needs to forgive {not forget, cuz he will never}. ....L.

patbgone

you might not be able to do both but you want to be honest with him he deserves that even if it is to late

missaboo

well first the affair must be over with, just be very honest with him. you know you did wrong, explain to him what made you do it and why. he is probably going to freak out but you can't blame him put yourself in his shoes for the moment. you are going to have to earn back your trust with him and if you love him you will try your hardest to. and if he loves you he will stick around because everyone deserves a second chance. you are just going to have to prove it to him. good luck i hope everything turns out ok for you. if you don't mind me asking why did you cheat in the first place?

gonzo

you are probably fcked

j t

An affair no matter how breaks a marriage. Good luck.

K Z

u serious??

autumnsmommy21

Go on jerry springer. He's gunna want to hit you anyways. Cheating on a loved one is a horrible thing to do. If you wanted someone else so bad why didnt you get a divorce first. I fell sorry for your husband!!

joy

what are you crazy. if you tell him it's over. you only want to tell him to relieve yourself of guilt.
It's your affair and you have to deal with what comes with having one. guilt, and no one to tell it to. except here I guess.Why would you want to hurt him and tell him anyways. So , if you want a divorce tell him. If you want to stay married, don't

drakke1

perhaps in a foreign tongue?;-)

ShineOn

Well, there are no guarantees. I would tell him and add that you are willing to go to counseling with him as well...tell him that you won't do it again, and that you will understand that forgiving you won't happen overnight. JUST make sure that you commit yourself to never making that mistake again. Ask God for forgiveness...and ask for His guidance too. That's my advice.

Nicole M

As long as the affair is done with. I think if i were in that situation I would want to hear the absolute truth of why you cheated in the first place and also that whatever the reason was that you will work on it and it will never happen again

little momma

well he might be pissed at first but if he loves you really then he will enetually get over it and work things out exspecially if kids ar in the picture.another problem is if he wants to be an *** about he can take custody of your kids and keep everything ya'll own togther cause you were in the wrong.so think hard and good luck.

me-the girl

Find him a girl let him cheat and when he's done. Tell him:
Honey it's okay. I cheated too

carmaal1

Don't say anything it could make things worse. Forgive yourself, don't do it again and concentrate on your marriage.

karen W

If you must confess it, tell it to your pastor or a therapist. Men are very different about affairs and far less forgiving than a woman might be. It's possible he already knew something was going on anyway and chose to ignore the signs. Telling him will only hurt him, and for no reason other than to try to heal your own guilty conscious. If you are truly done with the affair and truly repentant about what happened, asking God for forgiveness is all you need to do. Everyone sins and no sin is worse than another. It doesn't matter why you did it, you did, and now you're back to your senses. Recall the vows you took with your man, and why you took them in the first place. Work on your marriage with a fresh perspective and never look back.

mike b

you can not if he finds out it is over he will think about it every day and it will make him crazy I know my wife did it

johnnydean86

I'm not sure you can.

Mam

You take the cake! You cheated, but you want to keep your
marriage. Well, if I were him I would show you the door. Didn't
you ever hear that a good man is hard to find? It sounds as if you
had one and threw him away for a few wasted minutes. Go pay
the piper now!!

I wish you luck.

donronsen

Bring in your sister or best friend to seduce him. That way you will both burn in hell later. Hope this works for you.

kiteeze

Think carefully. Would telling him do any good?
What do you want? To end the affair and keep your marriage? To have both?
If you end the affair and tell your husband you had one, it would be pointless.
If you want to keep on having the affair and tell your husband, that is just hurtful.
If you want to keep your marriage, hold your tongue until you and hubby are both grey haired. Maybe not even then.
Please do not tell him simply because you are feeling guilty! That is the most harmful reason of all (and why there are confessionals, by the way!)
Don't think too much about it. If the affair is over, it is already in the past and you don't have to dwell on it.
If it is continuing, already your question is out-dated, as things will be happening too fast for us answerers, who wish you well, to keep up!

April

You don't. You made one mistake -- you betrayed your husband and your marriage. (I'm assuming the affair is over, and you wish to stay married to your husband. If not, then this answer is inappropriate to your question.) Don't make a second by blabbing a confession, and expecting him to tell you it's okay. It is not okay. So shut the hell up, and live with it. If you do tell him, your marriage is over. Marriage is a trust of love and commitment. You will irreparably destroy the trust, and he will leave, and rightly so.

southern-belle

you can't. If you tell your husband about an affair you had, he will never look at you the same. Men are able to dish it out but unable to receive it. They are not as strong as women when it comes to things like this. Make ammends with god (or whoever you worship)--ask for forgiveness from a higher power but if you want to keep your marriage, then it wouldn't be in your best interest to spill the beans. Let it go.

RAVEN

Talk about wanting your cake and eating it too. Then again, are you sure he'd give a flying pig? Are you sure he's not doing the same thing?

leyte6519

Give yourself a favor, do not ruin your husband life and keep yourself married to him. If you you want to have your affair divorce him. You cannot have both it is not fair to him to everybody specially if there is children involved.

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