How do i get my husbands attention?

Michael

the guy who was picked as best answer last time you asked this queston is right, do something drastic, threaten to leave him, or actually leave him, not divorce (yet) but physically remove yourself from him, tell him choose his family or his game. the key is you have to mean it, if he thinks you won't really leave then he'll just ignore your warning.

read the answers from last time you asked this question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgXd9ivqweT6L4PfsRxYxjDsy6IX?qid=1006053111869

mustanglady

My situation is a bit similar, so the kids and I do our own thing!! I live for me and my kids and whatever with him!!! I will not wait forever!!!! Good Luck and God Bless!!!

Janiffer

He's probably addicted -- they are both highly time consuming games. I would suggest having a long sit-down conversation with him, and try to schedule his time on the computer so that he doesn't hog it and neglect you. Suggest having a computer free day perhaps, or a family day.

Titanic

i actually play EQ and the game is set-up for just this sort of thing to happen if your not just constantly playing then you lose the ability to play with the core group you normally do. He just needsto slack up a bit theres a group thats right behind him thats got a nice balance and hes just got to fall back into that group. No we're not the first to get such and such item but you can still enjoy the game (and enjoy it more from my experience). At the high -end of the game your gonna need 50-70 folks to do anything so those are sceduled pretty well. hes just gotta start making time for the home group. If nothing else tell him hes gotta work on "The Wife" faction. Actually asking about the game is pretty cool we know you havent got a clue tho but still cool. Yea just gotta make a night with no EQ let him pick a NoN-Raid night(nice term that will let him know you know something of the game) and allguilds have some of those nights because we all do have families. If hes that high theres already the chance he has a second account -try getting into the game --one night a week only in exchange for one night off. Just some ideas there. I will say there is no-way you can do two online games and have any life...gotta can one online game.

llemma

If you've already been fighting and crying about this for a long time, then I think it's time to accept that he isn't going to grow up just because you need him to.

Quoting Dear Abby: At some point, you have to ask yourself: Are you and your children better off with him or without him?

jazzy_la_lady

Tell him your bored, make plans to go places and do things..... rent a hotel for a weekend ( no computers) and show him what hes been missing try something new....

rosary

dont pay the electric bill for a while

stanza

can this loser, what a nerd

Steveooooooooooooooooo

I have found that open communication is the best answer to any problem like this. Ask him nicely to cut back on the gaming or get involed in the games with him. I know a few couples that have had this issue and both ways have worked. Don't fight over it that makes it a win lose situation.

LULU

I know what you are going through, and I don't know if there is anything that will work. Mine sits on the computer the minute he comes through the door from work. I also try to ignore it but with kids its hard to. I have also found if I do my own thing it gets my mind off of it for a while, but a person feels all alone. And I keep thinking that kids grow up so fast, and he is missing out on the best time. But I guess he will figure this out when he is old and the kids are gone. But I would say to take the kids and do all the fun things that they want, at least you are spending quality time with them, don't know if this helps, like I said I am in that boat too.

TraVieZa_420

strip 4 him

nirmal k

hi there,
if you have tried everything then the last thing you can do is try to ignore your husband.not too much but give your attention to someone else like your kids,mom n dad ets.husband rely on wives because wife are second mom to them.so plz dont worry may be ur husband has a lot of work to do.satrt ignoring him a bit in a happy way.dont make them feel that u are angry or something like that.i hope this will do.all the best for ur married life.

Kathy W

My husband and I both have computers and we also play games on ours as well. We play games on ours because it's relaxing for us after we get done with our jobs. But we dont ignore each other in the mean time. It's hard telling just how much your husband has on his mind that he's not sharing with you. Computers are a good distraction in other words. Some people just get more obsessed with it more then others. I wished i could help you more here, but i'm at lost for words. Good luck.

gentle whisper

Hi, your husband is , I think, stupid and ill because he let a beautiful lady and her children and play a stupid games as you said, look, you should divide the time of sitting in front of the computer with him, you should play the games as he did, you should make him realize that what makes him happy please you, share him in what he did, make him feel that you are interested in a way, you will notice first that you are changed, then , he will ask you or take your opinion about what he wants to know, and then , after he used to your existence by his side , withdraw slowly and turn back, do not forget your children . If this solution is out of your reach , so you should buy an other computer and do your duty to your children, whatever it should be done to make them happy and then sit in front of your computer and play with your children whatever you want, that means create your own world, at that time , i m sure that he will try to get in inside your world . if it does not work , let him in peace , and live your life, imagine that he did not exist, someday, he will realize that he has a family. thank you and good luck.

1plum

be happy hes not f'ing another woman, hey trash the computer so it wont work spill something in it

Honey Dip

My advice it to get yourself a hobby that is just as time consuming as his gaming. Men hate it when we don't convert all of our energy and attention towards them. They feed off all of the constant fighting and nagging from us. Go out, stay out....late even. Call friends on the phone and talk for hours.If you don't have any local, try connecting with old high school or college pals. Go shopping. Do SOMETHING that shows him that you could care less...Trust me he will start to pay attention to that.

P.S. Since he's there do all of this on your time...let him babysit ...he's not gonna leave the computer so take advantage.

georgia b

There is NOTHING you can SAY to get his attention. Your lack of action for six years gave him permission to continue.

I think you should look at the compulsive gaming as the other woman he already left you and the kids for. He's out of control. He is now six years behind you in emotional growth, since he checked out of real life six years ago, for the fantasy life that he prefers. It is evidence that he lacks the capacity and/or desire to deal with reality. As with an addict, you can't get him help; he has to do it himself.

Staying for the kids and financial stability is a noble reason, if it's what you choose. Don't expect a marriage though.

Jen

Your husband has a computer addiction. Like any addiction he will need to hit rock bottom. I don't believe a computer addiction is worth ending a marriage over. Try to give him enough to do so that he doesn't have time to play. Another suggestion might be to sabotage the computer so he is forced to find something else to do. Marriage therapy would be good so he sees that it's a big deal when it affects the family as it does. Again, don't get a divorce over a computer addiction. He's not cheating, spending all the family finances, being abusive or going out with the guys. You always know where he is and you know he loves you.

jonny m

Well I was one of it too....than my wife took a vacation for a long time , she went back to her parents...at first I was happy...but there are times that I started to appreciate her...cause a lot of things a man just can't do himself....so day by day I started to miss her too much and stop my stupid and foolish not to bother thing...Now I have her back....after a long separation.....I enjoy her company and also her nagging as well...its kind of fun to have her back...hope this help you too...

shrty0525

as my hubby once told me when I was complaining - get a teddy on and sit in his lap.

I have had the same problem - and now I'm also on the computer a lot - he needs some time to pursue his interests - at least they are at home and not with someone else...but yes - there needs to be a happy medium - I know if he spends an hour with me - I don't care if he's on the computer the rest of the time.

di_ako_guapo

don't give up loving him. pray for him.

don't you worry... time will come when he'll find it boring.

Big Jimi

Have an affair,See if you're still alive!

awesome_eo

Everyone acts like it's your fault that he doesn't pay attention to you. Ignore him and act like it doesn't bother you, I don't think that you should have to put on an act or a striptease to get your husband to want to have anything to do with you. Try to find something to keep you occupied while he is doing what he is doing. Find something that you like to do to pass the time. And if worse comes to worse if it is that serious than leave him it doesn't sound like he has a lot to do with the kids anyways.

Jill M

Try the book "Love is a Choice." It covers addictions (in any form even computer games) and how to cope. Did you try setting a time limit for computer use? Pass it off as a time limit for the kids, but "we should follow it to set a good example." Then suggest another activity to help him unwind or veg like a card game, a movie, etc.

Best wishes.

pianoplayer

YOU SHOULDNT EVEN HAVE TO TRY TO GET HIS ATTENTION

scornedgypsy

smash the computer

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