How do i help him understand?
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How do i help him understand?
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the guy i have been talking to for 5 months now is currently very mad. he has a reputation that he is trying to get rid of. people like to talk a lot of crap about him, and i have honestly learned that it is all just crap. everything i have heard has turned out to be lies (with proof of it being lies). i made a mistake a few days ago, and let something i read on myspace get to me. but i didnt approach him angry or upset, i just let him know there was something i needed to talk to him about. a very close mutual friend of ours has always been there for me so i told him what was goin on. well my guy got the jist of the situation from him instead of hearing it from me. not only did he get angry at me for talking to our friend about it (but he knows i have before, and has NEVER mentioned it bothering him), but also because i questioned what i had read. as always, it turned out to be a lie. it has been four days now and he has not spoken to me since. he texted me a few times, in reply to my texts, letting me know why he was mad, then the next day that he still just didnt want to talk because he was mad, then he said he just needed some time to chill. he told me his feeling for me had not changed, and that he forgives me. but he still wont talk to me. i have given him the space he has asked for. he's so angry about everyone talking crap about him, it seems like there is nothing i can do to help him understand that im standing by HIS side, and that i really dont care what anyone else has to say. HE makes me happy, not them. ive tried to tell him several different ways, but hes still so mad he wont talk to me. i dont know what else to do.
if there is ANYONE that can give me REAL advice about how to help him understand or show him that im not giving up on him and that im not letting what people say come between us, then please help me. it is hurting me to see him so hurt, but he is being very closed off. should i continue to give him his space indefinitely, until he is ready to talk again, even if that takes a very long time, or should i let him know im still here no matter what just by letting him know i love him & i miss him, even if he does not respond?
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hajuni
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when you love someone truly you don't get frustrated by the "no response" from the one you love...love in-fact is never about response...it is what you feel about him and loving everything about him even the anger..keep loving and keep being with him...let him know you are never leaving him even if he's murderously mad. give gestures that show concern,never forget to smile at him...do things that he likes...you ll soon get to know that he will miss you a lot if you go away some day...if he's mad because people talk wrong about him then may be he feels lonely and it is high time that you should be with him...just don't rush in and spoil things just give him signals that you re still there around...best of luck |
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Paul&Fran
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Well first off yall need to learn that not talking and avoiding each other is childish. If yall can't sit down and work out your problems then your relationship leaves allot to be desired. |
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Grenoble
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it will take time but you both need to trust each other. this is a minor issue and if you can't work this out than what's the use?
for any real relationship to work; you both need to interact with other people. and if some friends are not supportive of your relationship - hear them out and set them Straight.
if that doesn't work then you might want to expend your circle of friends
your guy needs to deal with the issue just give him space - 2 days is good anything more than that then you're both just prolonging the inevitable. |
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mindy
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My husband got mad at me once 20 months ago and wouldn't talk to me. He still isn't talking. How long are you gonna wait? We are in the same boat sister, only I'm done waitin'---He hasn't talked in 20 months so I'm filing. What are you gonna do? |
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joe_fleeman
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First it is time to take the fantasies out shoot them and bury them.
Next find some people and family who know this guy and talk to them instead of believing everything he tells you that you WANT to hear.
He has reputation and where there is smoke there is fire, or there's is going to be a fire.
If he gets that mad over something like this ,then he has a severe problem and you do not need to hook up with a guy who has anger management problems hon.You think the communication break down is bad now?It would be much much worse if you were married and made him angry.Talk to your parents because they see him as he is not through the eyes of lust and fantasy as you are seeing him.This is a big red giant flag waving in your face hon, if you ignore it and steam roll over it, you'll be sorry and you will only have yourself to blame.
I do not believe that "everything" you have heard about him that is negative is "all lies and crap",I think there is asome truth to what you have heard but are looking for reasons NOT to accept the truth. |
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Amy R
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If you have told him all of this- and I'm assuming you have- then the ball is in his court. There is nothing more you can do or say. He has the problem and he has already said he is not mad at you. Give him time and space. If he doesn't "come around" after a little while- tell him enough is enough and you will not be kept on a string forever waiting for him to get his head out of his butt.
Right now he is just thinking about things and getting over it. Sounds like he has had to put up with a lot of **** from a lot of people. Reassure him one last time that you are not one of the bad guys, you will be over here if and when he wants to contact you, and you will not be badgering him anymore about it. Then wait and see what happens. If he cares, he will see that he is being a baby about it and needs to cowboy up and move on. |
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Mar.R
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Just give yourselves some time to calm down. |
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Markis B
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let him be dont pester him it will just piss him off even more he will talk eventually |
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jaquezzz
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i'd give him some time to cool off. and set a dead line! this was a minor fight and he should come around soon. it sounds like he got his feelings hurt... |
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