How do i work around my paranoia that my husband is cheating?

Tom B

no, forget the detective, too expensive. download a spy-ware program from the many to chose from on the web. have someone help you. they run very transparently on your computer, tracking all keystrokes. prepare yourself, save info to disc. then have that discussion again later, after you know what's what. denials will be difficult, but so is bad marriage and divorce. your choices.

julielove327

It's really hard to trust at this point. I couldn't live with someone I didn't trust. When people get angry at questions, I always think they are gulity.

closed

You don't expect him to tell you the truth do you?!!! I have never yet met a cheater to truly admit it without turning it onto you..... I think your instincts are telling you.... It is hitting you in the face... and I know it hurts, I went through it .... It is demeaning and belittling and you feel of no value, but he is of no value.....he's worthless and you can do 100 percent better..... Don't let anyone treat you like that...Hold your head up and have pride and move on..... There are wonderful men out there that don't cheat...... Good Luck sweetie.....

jean

You are probably right. Since he became angry is a dead give away. you should think about getting out. once a cheater always a cheater with the same person.

Texas girl

You can sneak around and do all kinds of things, but this is what worked for me: Put a good quality, long duration, and SMALL tape recorder in his car. Switch it on right before he goes to work, and make sure the volume is all the way up. HIDE IT VERY WELL!! You can review you tape daily and rewind it daily to see exactly what he's up to every day.

luvlisteningtomusic

If you think he is cheating most likely he is. Use your instincts the very first one is usually your answer

kayla

well if it's on the website than pretend your him and send a message see if they answer. Do your own detective work there nothing worst then not trusting your husband I've been there many times and I've caught him.

joejo

I have never had this problem but I have friends who have. If what you said is true it is cause for concern. You can handle it one of 3 ways; confront him again but have your proof in hand, ignore it and hope it goes away or start doing more checking. No one likes to be played for a fool; nor should they allow anyone to treat them less. If you can afford it hire an investigator and if not you become one but don't say anything until you have concrete proof if at all possible on tape. Watch the movie let's give them something to talk about and that will give you some motivation. Than you have to decide if your marriage is worth saving. If you love him and he loves you it is but only if he is willing to work hard to regain your trust. If he is just checking out his options than you two need to really talk and find out why he is feeling that way and work on re-claiming that spark that brought you two together in the first place. That old saying "don't throw the baby out with the bath water." applies here, don't throw the husband out on possibilities only on concrete evidence. Good luck, and I hope you are wrong.

You call that CHANGE?

Anger, when confronted, is admission to guilt. Remember that! Get some spyware installed in the computer, and get all the proof you need, show it to him, and THEN call him on it again, and see what happens...

dorleejohnson

If you think your man is cheating most of the time they are, but he could just be doing some harmless flirting by email. If you can I suggest let it go until you have something solid to base this claim on, because if you keep pushing the issue it will just drive you all farther apart.

fatracer21

I had the same thing. I bought a spyware program and found out the b*stard was cheating with some scuzzy chick from new york. Nasty chick too. i confronted him and then the CHICK started stalking me on the internet and at my office.

They certainly cant deny it when you log on the program and print out the screenshots. I did 67 pages of it and left it on his desk....right before I left him. Thank god i found out before he gave me a disease!It will drive you crazy not knowing. spend the money and install the program.

mdlromance

GIVE UP THE PARANOIA, if found it talk to him find out why he has it don't ac use him of nothing, and be sure to let him know how you feel about it, by talking to him be calm when talking and listen to him all the way through DO NT int erupt him, if you 2 have a solid foundation it wont be broken until one of you brakes it, don't hold back you feelings just take different approach to it,learn to talk to him as a person as you would want him to do the same, listen to your heart don't let your anger harden your heart make sure there is something there that you cant talk to your{ best friend} husband about and solve.PARANOIA means insecurity of you self.

usmchawkeye

if the feeling persists then there maybe something to it, be careful

rottie110

Thats a hard one, first of all, he is defensive which would make me crazy, and searching on those sites would set me on fire. So I dont know what to tell you, is he leaving the house and staying out late, or is he just on the net? either way I would be ticked beyond belief also. I would try to rationally speak to him about your marriage, and his feelings, is something missing, can you make something better.

Honestly if he wont talk its going to eat you alive and you will be miserable untrusting and insecure... The only way is too get him to talk, but not to argue about it, screaming never worked with my ex.

I have found womens phone numbers in my fiances phone by accident not looking intentionally but he always had an answer and it also always makes sense ie we would run into the person and they would thank him for the computer work he did, or were with their spouse and had commented on a recent conversation in front of myself and their spouse. So it never concerned me.

The defensive answers are the ones that my ex always had and we ended up screaming and fighting and not resolving, needless to say we arent together anymore but that is a different story.

Good luck, and best wishes I have been in your spot before, and its hard to put those things behind you even if they are innocent.

claire

Three months ago i found the same sites on my pc and did not ask my husband about them I did some digging and found the password within the pc and then entered one of the numerous sites just to see what he had been up to. I was devastated as his ad read h was married and looking for fun and there were even previous chat records. He had been getting lots of messages on his mobile and could not explain them all - when i looked into his fone bills the majority were from one number so i called it. It was a woman and she informed me she had been seeing him for 8 months.
From actually speaking to him about it and then speaking to her he had denied anything and everything - but after i had spoke with her he couldn't deny any longer.
I am not saying your hubby is cheating but please if you think something is wrong then delve deeper for your own peace of mind.
You can on the net by typing in reverse number look up join sites that will reverse check all fone numbers mobile or land line - it does cost a little but when compared to peace of mind its cheap. You can also pay to have private lie detector tests nowadays as well - just ask if he would be willing to have one if he says yes lets go i would say hes not been naughty - however if like mine he objects in any form chances are hes been naughty.
Hope things are OK and you sort things best way for you.

jodi M

If it quacks like a duck, it is usually a duck. Happily married men do not search for female companionship. He may not have cheated...yet. It sounds like he is on his way if he hasn't already. Try to find what is wrong in your marriage, if you cannot find what is wrong, then determine if you can live with a man who doesn't respect you. If you cannot, leave his lousy cheating as@!

AdamKadmon

Hun, if you found what you found, somethings up. Does he "clean up" to go to the store, then stay gone way to long? Is he going to a friends house to visit, call and ask for him, after he's been there like 2 hours. Then just say you "need milk" or some such (but I doubt he's there) he'll just HAVE LEFT if you get my meaning. Or call the tv show Cheaters lol. Good luck.

aye, get a program called a Keylogger that runs in the background, it records all the keystrokes he will make and will keep a record of what he types.

Babygirl86

GIRL I FOUND THE SAME THING !!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HIS EXCUSE WAS? IT WAS A E-MAIL FROM WERE HE HAD USED IT IN THE PAST!! ONLY EXCEPTION.......... HE HAS CHANGED HIS E-MAIL ADDRESS. SO WHY WOULD HE BE GETTING E-MAIL FROM ADULT FRIEND FINDER WHEN HE HAS A DIFF. E-MAIL ADDRESS. BUT YEAH I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. AND HE WAS ANGRY AS WELL. SO SORRY I CAN'T HELP BUT IF YOU FIND OUT SOMETHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!
GOOD LUCK!! AND GOD BLESS!!!

Olivia R

I would definitely keep an eye on everything. Try doing a little spy work on your own. He is definitely looking for something new. He's only angry with you because he got caught!

missdavis1206

Remove all of the bad thoughts from your head and think that he is actually out doing great things. On the other hand if you continue to find things that make you wonder you just might have to snoop around and see what you find. It may not be what you want but you wont have to wonder or worry any longer. Wish you the best!

Dani California

From my experience: if you think he is, then he is! Leave his sorry *** before he brings home an STD or knocks up some tramp!

Goodspeed

I would be concerned if you push the issue you will find it just may be worse than your suspicions...there is no reasonable explanation your husband needs to look anywhere else but into your eyes for romance, intimacy or friendship...make sure all are available so he doesn't have any excuse to look elsewhere.

checking-u-out

get that web investigator product where you can track where he has been on the computer and who he has been chatting with. also get a digital voice recorder stick it in his car and see who he is talking too on the phone or leave it in your house and bust his ***

sweet_poetic_fire

you dont trust him. because its natural. alot of girls been through so many guys cheating on them that in their eyes every guy cheats. Wait untill theres actual Proof. then youll know for sure other wise. Why the head aches. Why throw some thing away that was never even around.

ninerfaninsanjose

you ALREADY know..what to..do..and its NOT waiting on complete strangers..to tell ya...GET OUT NOW!!

Brutally Honest

Just remember the guilty scream the loudest. He's acting the way he is (angry) because he's been found out. You should hire an investigator because if your gut instict says he's cheating, he probably is.

jusb4dawn

Let me just tell you that any man/woman who's entertaining on the net is either Single, Looking, or Lonely. Since you share a mutual relationship w/him he's not suppose to be SINGLE; since you share a mutual relationship w/ him he's not suppose to be LOOKING; well that leaves LONELY..how are things going on the home front , has the fire totally burned out? If it's worth rekindling, I say go full force, if not sum it up as a lesson learned. Honestly nothing is probably going to make him stop.I bet that this never happen until the friction arrived, he just very well may be too far gone. Go to counseling, it works! Good luck.

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