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bashnick
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I guess you find a way to move past the marriage and get on with your life. I don't think you should stay married to someone whom you don't love and adore. It is not fair to him or to you.
If you don't believe in divorce, then you need to find a way to love him. Begin by loving him because he married you and for things he does for you, like providing a good home or whatever it is that he does. Go out on dates with him and get to know him again. Find some mutual interests and spend time together doing those. Find a way to become his friend and then the love will come naturally. Just make up your mind that you want to love him and do whatever it takes. |
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rachealuk
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i have been married and now divorced twice. the 1st marriage i don't regret 14 years together, 1 son and a dull but OK life together. the 2nd was a total mistake, married him for all the wrong reasons and definitely regret meeting him. the only good thing is i have 2 wonderful children with him. but life is about being happy, and if you are not happy change it. life is too short. for whatever reasons if you don't feel for him what you should then waste no more time. move on and start living. be happy xx |
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sweet
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I have been through it , tried to cope but didnt work up. so I divorced after some yrs of seperation, now he is happy am happy we talk as friend the kids r ok wiz it |
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Kate T
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I only realized two years into my marriage that I wasn't with the right person. It took awhile to smuggle up the courage to tell him, and everyone else that I wanted to get seperated, and I heard a lot of why? You two seem so perfect together......
He was upset, said he had absolutely no idea that my feelings were changing, and begged for another chance....
So I gave it to him. We went to marriage councelling together, his mom gave us money to go away on dates together, etc, but still the feelings did not rekindle. In fact, I started to resent him...because I was not happy.
In November, I finally broke it to him that I was not happy. That he was not fulfilling my happiness, and I ended it....
And I couldn't be more happy with the decision that I have made. We're going through a messy seperation, and it does get stressful, but, my heart is happier now. I am happier.
You have to remain true to yourself. If something doesn't feel right to you... than you need to get out of it. There's no point in mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting yourself in a relationship, if it has turned out to be negative.
And if you have kids, I know a lot of people are saying stay together because of that reason on here.....
But the emotional turmoil they'll go through, just from seeing two parents who don't get along, and aren't happy together is a lot worst, than seeing their parents seperate, but live on better terms with eachother.
Two good books to read for you (I don't know the authors..)
Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay...
and
Something More...
Both are excellent books. The first deals with your relationship, and whether or not you're just in a rut, or if there is a lot of problems that you would be better off to leave
and the second deals with following your heart.. it's more of a book for women, about being true to yourself, your beliefs, and loving yourself. It's a great read...
Good luck to you! xx |
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jude
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if u realize he is the wrong person, u need to get out of it and not make any plans with him or buy any property. as once u begin to become comfortable in it u tend to just accept all the bad, and stay in it, and as the years pass u just come bitter and resentful. so get out of it as soon as u realize it isn't right for u. |
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MM
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It all depends how unhappy you are. I truly believe that one has to live on or above the happiness line for most of the time. And what that happiness line is, that all depends on what you regard the pillars of being happy.
And if you are not, well, then you need to take action because being unhappy spoils your mood and emotional state of mind as well as your self esteem. And the stress related to that can also have physical consequences.
I cant tell you what action should should undertake. I am not going to promote divorce, but if that is the only way to be happy again I cannot vote against it. A Marriage cannot be used as an excuse to remain unhappy, just because you made a mistake.
Maybe you should try separation first, to see if being alone ( Not with your husband) is what you really want before disbanding the marriage.
Good luck! |
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hubie
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use your head,get a divorce before its too late.do not become pregnant. the divorce will cost more |
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ken m
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you tell him and be honest with yourself and him. Theres no point going on with something thats not right, you will both end up suffering and dispising one another. It may be hard but itll be worth it in the long run |
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LadyK
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Dont cope ..Leave. U get one chance at life and the best u can do for yourself is giving yourself a chance to happiness and peace of mind. You owe yourself that much.
Dont hang in there for the kids, it doesnt help them to grow up in an unhappy family setup, dont do it for looks, scared of how people will react, its u who spent sleepless nights.
If u are CONVINCED he aint the best person for you, remember it might be like that even for him, so give yourselves some space and go your separate ways. |
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xxbabydoc52xx
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rrealising is the first step dont prolong anything , sit down and talk c if there is a way of workin this out if not its best to move on and cut ur losses , there is no point in hurtin urself or ur partener , , it will be hard probably for both of u but if its how u really feel so move on . good luck in what ever u choose . |
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pinpin
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Know what u want and do what u want, that's the only time you can cope. |
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philly_q_t_2004
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You don't cope with it, you escape it. If you truly are not happy, and you think things will never change, it's better to be honest with him and tell him you think you made a mistake and deal with his response. Life is too short to spend time being unhappy with a situation or person. Good luck. |
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Mrs.Sims♥
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I have no clue, I am going through the same thing right now. But, we are both in the Navy, and I am pregnant with his child, so it's kind of difficult, hopefully I figure it out. |
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mike p
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You can't! Just move on or get out there is no need to make 2 ppl un-happy and God forbid if you 2 already have kids together. If thats the case then you have number x = UnHappy People! |
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Solnishko
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If you really feel he is not the only one you want to spend a lifetime with,than leave him and dont waste your time for a "wrong" person,cause you can miss that only one who is "right" for you and who is searching you maybe/I believe that all of us have their "halves",that were destined by heavens.So listen to your heart and follow it-that is what I can advise.Good luck. |
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Chianti Man
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Move on ASAP |
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HiLuv
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there are plenty right men in this world and don't waste your time coping with the wrong man, get out of a loveless marriage and that would be best for you both |
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appleblossom_dreamer
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I know how you feel!! I knew I married the wrong man the day I married him. We've been married now for 7 years now, and I just keep telling myself I can let go when my youngest leaves home. Just keep your chin up, and keep yourself busy. Thats probably bad advice, but if you have kids, and your not being physically abused, thats all I can say. |
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Mary O
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Depends on what the situation is you are not giving us very information to go on.If you are unhappy move out and move on, get a divorce and be happy. |
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TEA
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Seek the advice of others that you know have been in the same situation. Did they make it work or did they bail? I would go with the more positive choices. However, if you are totally miserable with your husband, it wouldn't be fair for either of you to stay in the situation. Good luck |
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KimmyClives Catwoman
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Leave asap |
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sunkrist28
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why would you continue to be with someone if you think they wrong for you. You would only be unhappy and grows to resent them. I say get out. Why cope if your unhappy. Life to short to live your life like that. You need to do what makes you happy. I know it sounds self fish but if your not happy how would make others happy. |
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Fallen Angel Twinks
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people fall in and out of love all the time. you grow apart and there is no use staying in a marriage wich will eventually make you both unhappy, dont stay together for the sake of the child..
my mom always used to say to me you have made your bed now lie in it but i dont think thats the case. follow your heart and i hope you sort things out, good luck with the baby. xx |
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Gerry
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One marries for better or worse, the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but it isn't.! Is your husband mean to you? Or is it that you don't love him? Marriage is not a bed of roses. You have to take the good with the bad. A lot of times when the passion and romance isn't there anymore, some want out. These two things are not what marriage is all about. |
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jimbobo
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Sorry to tell you the truth that you are the root of the problem. Did you ever ask yourself how you could married a wrong one? Since when you know that he isn't the one (and you still married him?)
Ok, I don't want to be hard to you anymore.
Here is the quick fix.
JESUS CHRIST. Have Him to take a control on both of you. If you believe God created things from nothing, then He will create for your a dream marriage from all dammed things.
I can't fix your marriage from the distance, but if you listen to the song Bette Midler (from the distance) then you'll realize that there is a greater power than human do, that could fix and/or ruin humanity.
No need to blame the past. Embrace the future. Enjoy the present. Seek help. Talk to him about your feelings and don't expect too much from yourself and himself. Give thank to him and GOD. Forgive him and yourself. Build 2 ways communication. Respect yourself and each other. Listen twice and talk once (that's why God created 2 ears and 1 mouth). He will make a way where it seems to be no way. |
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Sophiesmom
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You pack and move on... |
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robert w
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DIVORCE.
OR SMILE AND GET ON WITH IT. |
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vfm
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Even the Bible allows Divorce when the situation allows. ikf u cant take it any more QUIT!! |
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john g
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dont cope .....get rid! |
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kelen
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well,it's really terrible.I think it depends how old i am and something else.If i were young and didnot have a baby,i would like to divorce with the guy.But if i were in my 40's or above,and we can live in peace i would like to go on my life as usual.In my mind the family is so important to a kid,you know what i mean.And,well i donnot know whether you've found your true love ,or does your husband love you very much.If he does,it really hurts him.It's hard to make up my mind. |
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jaygirl
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I realised I had married the wrong man but had three kids and divorced him when they were teenagers. I always knew he wasnt right. Now I am married to Mr Right! The answer is to move on and dont waste any more time. Obviously if you have kids then you have to consider them but if not get out of there! |
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