How do you get out of an engagement without devastating him?

Ghost

Just tell him the truth. You are both wasting each-others time. It is best to end it as quickly as possible. So both of you can try and start over elsewhere.

sheloves_dablues

Just be honest. You aren't ready to remarry right now. If he's not able to accept that, that's his problem, not yours.

Don't worry about hurting his feelings - you either slow down the relationship and he's a bit sad, or you get married and YOU end up miserable and resentful. Which is more important in the scheme of YOUR life? YOU.

nikie

you really can't. if he really cares for you it will hurt him. Say no or get a long engagement. You really shouldn't date people you aren't interested in marrying

Kevin

You don't. He will be devastated no matter what. If you weren't ready then you should have never said yes. Simple as that.

frawlicious

Honesty is the best policy. Ask him for more time. You need to be sure this what you want to do so that you won't make yourself and him miserable.

Eros

there's no easy way... just tell him. you owe it to yourself to be happy.
Your lack of comfort with the engagement is a sign. Read it.

Dude

Someone always get hurt. You need to tell him how you feel. He won't be happy if you're not happy. Slow it down a bit and do your best to make the right decision about the marriage.

Ashley S

Lay it out to him slowly... be honest it maybe uncomfortable but is better than feeling all this nausea.
You need time from the divorce and time for another marriage.

Goodluck.

Victoria aka Vodka

How long have you two known each other? If it's been a few years, you are probably just getting cold feet....

Scott

It's not going to be possible without crushing him. Just tell him you need more time and things are going too fast.

DianeP

Be honest about your feelings. There is no way to avoid hurting his feelings. It is better to quickly hurt someone than to drag it out longer and torture someone till it steals his soul.
Your situation is why people need to obtain closure from a breakup before jumping into another relationship. And your boyfriend/fiance' may have rushed into this because he senses your fear and hesitation. And he will get worse as he feels your withdrawal. I wish you the best, either way. Never marry for the wrong reasons. Never settle.

smileyone

When in doubt... the answer is No.
In other words you need to be sure in what you are doing, as your information is limited, ie how long have u been divorced, and how long you have been with this new guy.
I would just be honest with him, and tell him its all moving tooo quickly for you, and that you need some timeeeeee.
Maybe just not get married so soon, and see how you feel with some more time and not feeling so pressured, or if you already feel he's just not the one.... do you and him the favour of being honest and telling him how you feel.
Good luck.

10S Player

If he is not the one, he needs to know. It wil hurt him, but this is YOUR life. Speak to him from your heart. Tell him that at the time you thought you were ready to get married again, but now you feel you aren't and you need time for yourself. Of course he will be hurt, maybe angry. But it has to be done. You are talking about the rest of your life. Make time for the conversation, and do it sooner than later.

chocoroco

no matter what, he's gonna be hurt. but tell him exactly what you said here. tell him you want to stay together, but you need to slow down and hold off on the engagement and wedding talk. tell him you'll bring it up when you're ready. (then make sure you do whenever you're ready!)

the biggest thing in a relationship is communication. you'll have way more problems than this, in ANY relationship, if you don't learn to talk openly about your thoughts and feelings.

Spindrift

Tell him you're not ready you need more time and you know he loves you enough to give you the space and time you need to sort out your feelings.

Daisy

There is no way to do it without hurting the other person. You are just going to have to sit him and tell him how you feel. That is all you can do.

Edit: I disagree with some of the responses. You shouldnt take it slow with him and what you are feeling is not cold feet. You said, "the more i'm with him the more i'm realizing he's not the one." Follow your gut and your instinct. He is not the one. I believe you should just break it off completely. Heal and find someone else who is the one.

Mrs. Madrid

If you need more time then you should be able to talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. Let him know that you feel rushed and aren't quite ready to get married again so soon after being divorced. If you weren't 110% sure you wanted to marry him you never should have accepted his marriage proposal to begin with. Just because you don't want to get married now doesn't mean you wont' be ready in the future and hopefully he's mature enough to understand that. If he's the right person for you he should be willing to wait until your ready to take the next step.

Zee â™¥

I wish I was in your shoes. I want to be engaged and he is not proposing yet. I am tired of waiting. I just can't wait really.
You should appreciate having a guy who is willing to have you lawfully and officially. Unlike the players and cheaters around the world, who only say what we want to hear and do nothing.

But if it is really bothering you - tell him you need to slow down and that you care for him and everything but you don't want to rush things and they end up getting ruined eventually.

Best of luck to you, darling.

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