How do you get over someone when they were the ones cheating on you?

Im sitting here at work and i feel like im bout to crumble to the floor!! i feel BLU!!!!!
That song by michael bolton 'how am i suppose to live without you' is playing on the intercome and im like,DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMNN!!!
anyway,
throughtout our entire relationship basically, he always cheated, there was always another girl there, he always had his little side chick, i always found out, we fought, separated, then we got back together!! i love him!!! i dont know why, i just do, i just dont think i can be without him!! I am 26 and we have a 2 year old daughter together!.
WE havent spoken in a while, the last time he came over he showed up unexpectedly with a package of diapers, and that was that, (not that he provides financially) cause he doesnt help me at all now.
its as though we have to be sleeping together for him to help me with money, so the diapers was really out the blue!.
But still, he hasnt called, or asked about her, nothing.
iin previous arguments i would tell him 'dont act as though im trying to keep you from her, because im not. if you want to see her you can go pick her up from my moms'! but he hasnt even so much as attempted that!! what the hell?!?!
why is he like this, when will it get better, why?!?! why?!? why? she didnt do anything!!!!
Why the hell do i have to be laying up with him in order for him to be in her life? Why do i love a man, and cant let go, if he doesnt respect me at all?!! me chasing him still is giving him the okay and letting him know that i dont value myself, respect myself even and showing him that il allow him to disrespect me as he does.
why is this? Why do i think of him last thing before bed and first thing in the morning, seriously i check my phone first thing to see if he called because i know he works late hours!!!
I dont want any other man in her life as his role. I dont want any other man for me! but am i seriously ill... he is not a good man..
he doesnt know how to treat a woman..
Then what the hell is my problem???
I love him because we have a daughter together.
is that so damn much????!?!
is that so freaken wrong??????
why cant he get it together?
But i know it will take time, and if he ever does, how fair will it be to let him just waltz back into her life' even if just for that purpose.
how fair would it be, cause where was he when she needed him as a baby???

carol

The only way you can change how you are feeling is by thinking about things differently.
You are in an addictive emotional state with this man that is no good for you or your daughter.
He is not stable, dependable. accountable, and only living life here for himself.
He brings a package of diapers for his precious daughter when he just needs to buy them and wear them for himself.
He is immature and irresponsible and does not deserve the tittle of father let alone for you to waste anymore of your time in thinking of him.
He cheated on you and gives you no honor or respect and he is impossible to even create a functional relationship with where his own beautiful daughter is concerned.
This man is in deep denial about himself and there is nothing within him for you to admire.
He is hurtful, untrustworthy, and above all does not even contribute to the financial and emotional well being of his child that is in this world.
It is a proven fact that as humans we need to be touched, kissed and loved in return because without it we die.
He is already dead and now you need to bury him and move on in your life and find someone else that is out there waiting for someone special like you.
I realize that you hoped and maybe expected this man to be right and it's a hard thing to accept we can sometimes judge people wrong. so when this happens all we can do is get up from the fall and brush off our knees and be a better person because of our mistakes.
Yes this man was your mistake but look at the good that came from your experience you came out ontop having your sweet little girl.
She is your focus and your life line now to find happiness and content in yourself and someday a real father for her.
Trust me there is a man there because another mans junk is another mans treasure.
My sons step father earned the real tittle of what being called a father is all about.
He is a grown man now your age and would testify to that.
You get out there sweetie and set yourself free and enjoy life and love the way it is intended to be.

Al B

there is a lot to answer there but let me try. First, you love what you though he was before he showed you his true self. Make a list of the good things and the bad things about him and you will see that the bad list is far longer.
Try to see about counseling in order to think of other things and get back your self esteem from having dealt with this guy. If you had enough self esteem, you would feel you deserve better treatment and would be more mad than upset.
See an attorney - legal aid if you can not afford one - and let the support payments begin.
this is actually a form of domestic violence although mental rather than physical, from what you say, so you may also get some help from the link below.
You will find a better partner for you and better father for your daughter and when you get those feelings that you want to try again with him or miss him, ask yourself, would you want that for your daughter? If not, that don't do that to yourself.
Build up your self esteem, and don't get into another relationship until you have built up your self esteem to where you don't pick a loser.
I recently said, with great pain there can also be great joy. You are going through the pain now but the joy is waiting for you in the future if you get your self esteem up and look around for it instead of for this loser. Good Luck!!

Guytheterrible

Shi!t.
My wife has never had to get a job. I worked 100 hour weeks and worked up from less than nothing to well over a million in net worth. I'm a great provider, protector, lover, anything. I work out and stay in shape and work hard to be romantic and surprise her and keep her life interesting.....and she acts like she's suffering and I'm a mean ogre.

And this useless excuse for a man that you have gets all this love and devotion from you.

No offense, but women like you are the reason there are so many guys out there who are @ss holes. They learn that the more pathetic and selfish they are the more you will worship them.

Frankly, it makes me want to puke.

Jane Marple

Stop being sad and get mad!!

Step one: file for child support and get what is due to your daughter.

You are not in love with this man....you are simply missing a 'habit'!

It's like trying to quit smoking....you've got to avoid him, and get your mind on something else! Get yourself surrounded with friends and family. Go out! I'm not saying to date but go out and enjoy being a free woman!

Soon you'll wonder what you ever saw him him.

Javier169

you dont love him...you are codepenadant...look it up...learn about it...once you realize this you will be able to move on littel by litle

LIttle Cougar

I feel for you. But a child together doesn't equal love. Being a parent doesn't equal responsible. I'm a single mom and true love is what you feel for your daughter, wanting for her, not getting how he doesn't feel like you do. He doesn't and no one made you love your daughter. You just do. He is not helping you, so let him go to be the selfish child he is and enjoy the real love in your life as a mother. There is no greater feeling of struggling, thinking you can never do enough on your own, then when that child says, "I love you". He's not important. You and your daughter are and you'll be okay, both of you, as long as you appreciate what you have and stop longing for what you don't.

Nice guy

Whatever you feel for this guy, you don't love him. Love is a decision that comes, among many other things, out of respect for a person. I don't see how you can respect him, much less yourself for not getting out of that relationship. That you have a daugher together is no reason at all to stay together with this guy. He somehow managed that you are dependent on him, which means you have a problem and should talk to a professional. Women stay in unhealthy, often violent relationships not because they love the guy but because they are totally insecure about themselves and see this relationship as the only constant in their life. Not healthy. There's much better things out there.

Â¿Quien mas que yo?

This sound more like a YOU thing instead of your daughter. Listen, this man will NEVER change, and you know it but you cant accept it! He has no respect for you nor his daughter, you let him come and go and thats why he acts like he does. You have to respect yourself, there are better men out there! You say you dont want another father figure for your daughter, but is he being a good father? He doesnt spend time with her. You have to realize that you deserve better, and you have to stop seeing this man! Please, do it for you and your daughter, hes draining your life out!!! Good luck

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