How do you get past the cheat?

jude

it really should be up to the spouse who cheated on u to make u feel safe again, by telling u that they realize and know what they did hurt u. its by acknowledging the wrong and humbling oneself to the person who was hurt that makes that person come back to trusting again. the cheater has to be an open book, they have to acknowledge their wrong, they have to show remorse, and they have to be truthful about everything and understand when the person they betrayed needs time to move past the hurt.

alialoggi

I think that we, as women, are too eager to forgive them. They don't forgive us as easily, if at all, so why are you in a hurry to do so? What has he done to prove to you that he wont cheat again? If not enough, then send him to the curb until he can win you back with such sincerety, that you know he would never cheat again. Then, if you take him back, I would have him followed by a P.I., honest to God! That shows you how much I trust cheaters. Its how I caught my cheater.

Davion2308

You don't. You leave.

mrs_G

I didn't forgive, I divorced. I have too much self respect to stay with someone who has ZERO respect for me. And that's exactly how much a cheater has for the innocent mate.

Amo de angel

I wouldn't; I would 100% move on and I wouldn't give it a second thought.

locita_amor

You can forgive but i think that you never can forget. It takes time and lots of it. No matter how hard you try that is always going to be in the back of your mind and every time you 2 fight its going to come out. Also the hurt part takes lots of time also. Good luck

mizzhollywood26

with divorce papers.

benthere

I dont think u ever really do.

Kelli

I couldn't get past it. I would have to divorce.

China Doll 3

I would say it would be very hard to do, without trust the relationship cannot go anywhere.

supersmashbro4

You break up with them. THEN GO TO DISNEYLAND YAY!!

irwinlaura69

You don't!

Tanyawi

How could you forgive him is my question. I'll never understand people who cheat on their spouse. If you want to someone else, get a divorce first. If you love your spouse then you wouldn't cheat on them.

You'll never forget but if your staying with him you have to forgive him and start fresh. How?? Time I guess, and you must really love him.

Time time time --time will ease the pain.

shan_renee3

You will never forget about it, but it does get easier. The only thing that helps is time, and for me to see in his actions that it was just a mistake for him and he is trying to be a better husband.

saintrose

The first thing you should do is seek professional help for that. But you forgave him, its in his court to get you to trust him again. The one thing you need to do is let the hurt go but as far as trust and forgetting that is going to take awhile. Be sure you don't hit him over the head with it every time you feel bad or get angry with him over something else, that only prolongs the problem or makes it worse.

Just that One

Time, dedication and respect from the person that cheated on you... time is a factor and if the person really wants to show you then they need to work on it.

Maui 23

time

miabella b2b 6th June 2009 !!

I would never forgive and it would be over so I am sorry I cant advise you on this, I do know one thing though that if you take back a cheater it happens again and again, human nature. You need to be strong and walk away from him, he erred and you took him back, he is sitting pretty after getting away with it and you are now tormented by what he did. Is it right that you suffer this way because of his actions when you have done nothing wrong at all ?
Whats wrong with women today that men can walk all over them and they wail to everyone ".........but I love him..............." not me, I have more pride.
Sorry I think you will just have to live with this for the rest of your life, some marriage isn't it ?

dwgriffith101

Let go of your ego and it is easy.

Precious Heart

You will never feel quite the same way about the person whom you trusted and loved with all your heart. He betrayed you in the worst way and trust is something that can only be earned back. It will take a long, long time if ever you will trust him the way you did before. The hurt will always be there but somehow sets to the back of your mind. I would advise you to keep your eyes open and check for future mistakes. It is true once a cheater, always a cheater. He may not do it right away but with time, he will begin to slide back to his old ways.
If you forgive him quickly, he is sure to repeat the process. Men are like little children, if they can get away with it once, then they think they can get away with it again. I admire you for trying to forgive and rebuild your marriage. Best of luck.

izzy.wizzy.bizzy

it will be really hard and to be honest you will never really trust him cuz you will always think that he is doing something

and all these ppl that is saying that you should divorce well maybe thats not the best thing to do cuz not only would you be hurt but you will be alone

so just talk to your hubby and ask him every question that you have like why did he do it or what was going thru his mind and any other that you got

and then just ask yourself if you can forgive and forget

do what you think is right

Rangeen

by cheating him and hurting him the same way he hurted u

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