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MiaBella
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My divorce was just final and I have three boys, it was hell on them...the WORST two years of my life and theirs....they are just now starting to relax a little, but it's still hardon them. All I can say is ifyou do it, make sure you have no choice and there's NO POSSIBILITY that it would ever work, because what I watched my kids go through broke my heart. I never creid for my ex, but I cried a river for those kids. |
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Skylight
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If someone is physically abusive |
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AbuBakrFaqr
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If you have enough child support to be able to take care of them and the spouse is really abusive to the point it is hurting your and your children's self esteem and you all live in fear. Thats when you must leave that wretch. |
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arklatexrat
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When it is absolutely the only choice left. If there is anything you can possibly do to fix or even salvage the relationship for their sake, please try it. |
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Buddie
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When the children are being traumatized by the problems. |
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Rant & Rave in Las Vegas
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there is no right time.. but if you need out, go.
if you are out of love or just unhappy, stay together until kids are older and can understand .. thats if you can tolerate each other
if there is physical abuse, get out now, kids will understand
a few years ago, i left my husband, my son was young and he asked why and I told him the truth and he understood
i truly believe that you should never lie to your child, be honest and then there won't be anything that can come and bite you in the butt later |
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chonnie
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When it gets bad. it only gets worse when you stay together for "the sake of the kids". you should try counseling first though |
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***** chilanga *****
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when you have tried everything and the relationship isn't getting better |
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friendly_caringhappy
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You know...I left my ex and I had three kids but I knew in my heart it was the best thing for me and them. |
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Einstein was a LIBERAL.
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Your kids might end up messed up if you do. |
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George
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when and how depends on the situation....he is going to kill you or is molesting the kids --- this minute....the two of you have made a mutual decision to part and want to minimize the trauma on the kids...then it may be months before you are officially apart. |
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tara c
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if the marriage isn't working and your relationship with eachother is affecting the kids. remember even if you think you are acting 'fine' around the kids, kids see much more than we want them to, they are smarter than we give them credit for. besides don't stay together if it is making you both miserable no need to make life harder than it already is. so if things between you two can't be resolved then sit down with the kids and explain to the what is going on. |
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Elizabeth
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There is no right time. It's always going to be a hard thing to do, and for your children to deal with. So when ever your ready, do it. Everyone will just learn to deal with it. |
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sarahdoo16
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um i have 2 brothers and my parents thought they weredoing us a favor by staying together but they werent so if you think your relationship is over than it is dont make excuses to stay together if it is only making things worse |
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neanderthal
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it sounds like you already know. when they are old enough to understand. stay on "good" relations with the ex and the kids should come through fine. |
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Typewriter
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My parents separated, but that's besides the point, when you think it is time, reguardless of children, you must try to hold your own footing, and take care of the children, if (hopefully) you take them with you. |
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Fly out
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Never stay with the womon or man just for kids they will hate that.. Only stay with the person if you love them, Never for kids you can still see the kids theres always a way.. |
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hisgirl
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as soon as possible...
because if there's tension in the family the children can still be affected. you'd want them to grow up happy.
they'll understand... specially today where just about every1's been divorced/separated.
so if you can't be together then separate.
i must say that you should talk it over with that person see if there's anything you can work out. sometimes things fix with communication and hard work. |
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KingDavid
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If the kids are in danger, or you are not separating for your own selfish reason but for the benefit of the kids involved. |
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Kasey
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dont think you are doing your kids a favor by staying in a relationship for their sack, children are not that stupid at all. Your relationship is a example of how it should be. Is that the relationship you want you children to have? If you have tried and it just isnt working, dont stay in it show your kids they have the right to fight for their love but if it is causing more hurt than happy times its not worth the heart ache. But split on good terms and it shouldnt be that hard on them. |
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rachelnliles474
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NEVER stay when there is physical abuse, if you are having major problems that dont seem to be getting any better maybe it is time to atleast take a break, dont force yourself to stay for your children, the only people who suffer is your children my parents stayed together for us until we were older I was 16, and the day they seperated was the best thing that ever happened, I could never do my kids that way. Only you know if it can be fixed but chances are if you are asking for advice it must be bad. Sure little kids will not understand at first but i have 2 children from previous relationship that are 5 and 2 and they are perfectly fine. They loove my fiance. Children adjust easier than adults to these things, if you do leave be prepared to feel lonely I often mistook the lonliness for love and went back only to learn it solves nothing. Or get counseling I have never done that but I prefer to keep my life my decision.I dont need a man/woman in glasses to tell me that I have problems in my relationship I can figure it out for myself. But YOU always do what is best for you and your kids. Not your spouse you and your kids. |
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JenJen
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You will know in your heart when the relationship has ended and it is time to move on. It wont be easy but if you arent happy it will be worth your while in the long run. |
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just me
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What constitutes the right time? If you wait for that, it will never come. When is the right time for your life to have a major change? But, if you must pick a time, it might make sense to do it on summer break, as not to disrupt the school year. |
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lost man
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me, don't know... all of us also would not know...
who know?
you know, of course.
it is not the kids, but what is inside you? what do you want? |
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Hank the wayward Christmas tree
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when there are kids involved, it's not a right time until the kids are old enough to understand that there is a problem between you and your spouse, and it's not the child's fault. Once they can see the problem, and say something to you, then it's the right time. |
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rocksclub_05
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If you guys are arguing alot in front of the kids or even not in front of them, you don't want to stay together just for the kids. It is way more unhealthy for kids to see their parents at each others throats or even just unhappy then for you guys to just seperate. |
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neonatheart
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unless there is some form of abuse or adultry then it is selfish to separate b/c of the damage it does to children. most problems can be worked thru with either consuling or just plain old fashing hard work.
but abuse is something that removes the safety from any family and should be addressed right away. |
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★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥
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When they are out of daycare, and in a public school :-)
AND.. when you have some money saved, and hid away!! |
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sprite
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I think one of the biggest mistakes in failing marriages is to stay together "for the kids"... let's face it. Kids are far smarter and more intuitive than we give them credit for. They know when something is up between mommy and daddy, and putting off divorce to make them happy will only make things worse. My parents divorced when I was 18, and for years before that I had to listen to them fight, witness the anger, and see the sadness. In the end it only made things harder to deal with. |
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Tuggamamma
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If you have good reason then do it right away. Why pretend it will just make it harder for them. Make sure you know in your heart that there is no chance of love again. |
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