How do you know when your marriage needs counseling?

phorwanted

When you feel you have to ask this question.

Arthur W

When the both of you have reached a point where you both want the marriage to work but just cant seem to get past a problem. You will both need to want the same result and are willing to d whatever it takes to save the marriage for counseling to work. Good luck

Long Dong Von Hugenstein

When you do not get along anymore and the only reason you are with them is because of the kids. The kids will see this even if you don't and blame themselves. I do not know why people do not see the only thing they are doing is destroying their kids future. I hope if you are asking for your marriage it works out.

Will G

iF YOU EVER HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF, ITS PROBABLY TIME. Trust your emotional radar.

Mimi

Every marriage can benefit from counseling because we are not taught 'how to be married'. We come from families that taught each of us different styles of language, fighting, parenting, negotiating, vacationing, painting a wall, etc., etc., etc.
Think of it as education; that's what much of marriage counseling is

Melinda B

When your asking on Yahoo

Some Dude

If you need to ask you could probably use some counseling, whether you can convince the spouse of such or not. When your marriage starts to feel distant. When you feel more like room mates than you do like soul mates. When you feel like doing something despite knowing it will hurt your marriage, you should have already gone. I waited to long did something stupid and now I need personal counseling as well as us needing marriage counseling.

Just_gone

When communication and negotiation has stopped and cannot be restarted by the couple.

Gypsy Gal

When you ask this question

GEORGE

Whenn one or both of you can not communicate anymore. Whe you can't communicate and have an understanding with each other, depression sets in. Your councilor will want to see you both and then one at a tine and then both again. If you love each other and want this to work out, please do see a concealer. The number one reason for divorce, is financial problems and #2 is unfaithfulness.
Good luck to both of you.
God Bless,
George

science rules!

by asking the question there must be a reason

Tamborine

I would suggest that the first indication is that there are unresolved issues that you cannot talk through on your own. In otherwords, an outside mediator can help and attempts to work things out on your own have failed.

Second, both spouses have to be open to it. If they don't both buy into the idea - you are really wasting your time.

Think back to the last couple of months. How have things been? Is this just a rough point that will likely pass or is there an ongoing pattern of hurt feelings, arguments or issues? The answers to these questions would be good indicators of it is time to get a little help.

evelyn m

when you can't communicate with each other and there are problems that need to be resolved.

sohnconduit

As a relationship coach, I can say from personal experience that a relationship can benefit from fresh perspectives as soon as it begins to feel like work. When the joy of sharing one life together fades, there is a tremendous potential to shift the dynamic from a relationship, to a co-dependency. The best way to understand how this happens, and how to meet the challenge in a way that will best serve the relationship, is to find a professional that you feel comfortable with, and have a chat with them. You do not have to "wait" for your partner's consent, approval, or participation. If you don't know how to get to a professional, A Woman's Shelter can be an excellent resource. Early support can stop a marriage from deteriorating beyond the point it can be saved.

~Anne~

Go before you really NEED it. It's easier to make a good, or ok, marriage better than it is to try to salvage a relationship that's basically over. If you wait too long, the problems will just get bigger, and may be much more difficult to work through. Don't blame him for the issues in your relationship. If he feels like you are suggesting counseling because you want someone else to "fix" him, then he's not going to be receptive to the idea. Make sure you present counseling in a positive way. Let him know that you want to go because he's the most important person in the world to you...that you love him so much that you are willing to do anything it takes to stay together. Good luck!

lizzie j

every marriage has its problems nothing is ever perfect if your not connecting as well as you used to or your problems are getting worse then talk to each other about it first see how your partner reacts and see how he feels about it and then if you both think you need it go for it it does help many people get there marriages back on track

db14

When you have feelings or problems you can't resolve.

reinformer

When problems don't get resolved and fester onwards

harkness_captain_jack

You don't need to ask people to decide when your marriage needs counselling. When it does get to that point, you'll know. Othere people's opinions can be wrong for your own type of marriage, but right for their own.

Agent Ang

When a simple thing like leaving your shoes in the hall when they should be in the closet creates a huge fight, or when you know that there is something that you mate has done that hurt you and you are growing increasingly resentful of them because you do not know how to confront this issue without triggering a huge argument that can lead you to divorce court.
You just need ways to confront these issues without blowing up at one another.

agni

When you go on having continuous feeling to get divorce.

krissyb39

When you lose communication with your spouse.also things don't feel the same as they use to when you were getting along. try to ask your spouse if there is something wrong in your relationship

LIsa L

Find yourself getting easily irritated with your significant other, starting fights, blowing things out of proportion and becoming negative overall are signs that your marriage may need some work. You may be able to handle the issues by opening up the communication lines, looking to yourself and your actions first before getting a counselor involved. Always remember your thoughts are your things in life. If you think negative, argumentative thoughts that is what you will bring into your relationship. Try and change your attitude and promise to be positive in your dealings with your mate and you may find things will work themselves out.

Edwin M

When you slap the fu_k out of your wife eveynight.

RUTH A

A marriage can always use a little counseling, but when you get to the point that you are questioning it, I'd say it was time. Good Luck

ante l

well marriage is not just something that is viseable and that you can just see. Marrige is actually about the feelings so when you feel it then you do it

Earnest T. PhD/THC

When you have to ask the very question that you just asked !!

travelingirl005

When you are not able to communicate to one another.

If a relationship has no communication and both are not feeling validated there is a problem.
Its easy for one person to always be heard and ones opinion to always out weight the others....If there is not equal communication there is warrant for counseling.

and of-course
if there is abuse involved>>physical, verbal, drug or alcohol related....yes there should be counseling.

best wishes

myka1104

When you can't even stand seeing the person, but soon as they go to work you miss them. I will explain better I have been with my husband for 11 years, and not too long ago, I hated him but loved him to death. I couldn't stand to even hear him sleep at night but soon as he went to store or work I was like damn I love him and miss him. I guess you have this feeling it's that time. but the bad thing he never even knew I was hating him.

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