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How do you leave someone you're not sure you still love?
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How do you leave someone you're not sure you still love?

I'm sad. I'm always sad and he is always miserable, always angry and usually only happy around his friends. He calls me mean names, he thinks I'm useless even though I am the one with a full time job, I pay all the bills, I pay for all the food, I look after the kids, I do everything. When I ask him why he is always angry he always blames me and tells me because Im a ***** and he is sick of me asking him questions. Then when I get hurt by him and cry he calls me more names and tells me Im crying like a baby and tells me to shut up. He always says Im crazy, have mental problems, I'm skitz, I'm mental, I'm fu**ed up. He ignores me, he dosnt care for me, he is cold towards me, he dosnt show any interest what so ever. It hurts so much and he cant see how this is killing me. I cry when i think of the names he calls me and how he treats me and he thinks I'm an idiot. He dosnt hug me or reassure me. He dosnt wipe my tears and ever say sorry. Then he says good luck ever trying to find someone who cares and who'd be affectionate. I don't know what to do???????????????????


    




Appi Hippi
Rating
It's easy for people to suggest that you must part ways. But it is easier said than done. Also, your separation will certainly affect the kids. I suggest that you both see a marriage counselor. That might just fix it. Also, you do not know what is the reason behind his indifferent behavior. He might be having some problems. And men are usually not comfortable in sharing their feelings, so his behavior may change once the problem is sorted out.
Also, hard as it might be for you to be treated like this, try being calm. Try not to give him any reason to curse you (although i totally understand that you have not done anything wrong). Soon enough you will be able to suggest trying and sorting out the problem. Don't be heartbroken. Just be calm, think it through and work it out. I'm sure you will set it right. :)


Just Surfin
Why the hell are you still there?????????

Tell him "F*ck you" and walk away. There are other guys out there that aren't complete a$sholes.

The reason he's verbally and emotionally abusing you (and yes, he IS abusing you) is because it makes HIM feel better, and it keeps you from leaving. He wouldn't find anyone else to put up with his crap - you shouldn't put up with it for another day.

Get the hell out of there. Now.


Tommy T
Rating
He is having difficulty dealing with the fact you are the bread winner... he picks on you and belittles you to re-establish the pecking order as he sees it should be.

Either he needs to get his sh!t together, grow up, and get a career or you need to move on...


sweetgranny06
he is trying to control you with verbal abuse it could turn in to him beating you i been threw that im divorced now


Lorrie W
Rating
Why would you want to stay with someone who treats you so badly. Leave. Or better yet, kick his sorry @ss to the curb. Life is too short to put up with that crap from him. Find someone who will love you and be happy.


wazup
if you cant stop thinking about that person


ChristieO
Reminds me of my situation, I dont think mines quite as bad, but I pretty much feel how you do. Like why? Why would you want to treat me like this. Im inlove with my husband, and I dont even know why anymore, he neglects me emotionally, and abuses me verbally. I guess I just loved him so much from the beginning and had such high hopes for us, that its hard to let go now. Plus Im due to have our 2nd baby and that makes it more complicated too. I wish I knew how to let go, when you find the answer, let me know...


supermom101
I feel so sorry for you and angry too. You deserve more than that, just leave him. Life is too short, you can not stay unhappy like that for the rest of your life. Also,his bad behavior will have a big affect on your kids. Do you want your son to take this like a model and treat women like his dad does? Do you want your daughter to think that all men are like that? how would you want her to choose a husband in future when she doesn't have a good model right now. You deserve to be loved. There is a lot nice, gentle men out there much better than him. He will never find someone like you, and I'm sure he 'll beg you to give him a chance if you want to leave. Think again, go for couple counseling. Angry every day will affect your health, and no one would care for your kids. Take care of yourself. Good luck.


Rx4u
You answered your own question if you read it over again. You leave him because he IS killing you spiritually and mentally. You leave him now, before he hurts you even worse..and believe me when I tell you it can get worse. Please get away even if you still love him, for the only reason to save yourself. You don't leave him because you want to-you leave him because you HAVE to and then remind yourself that you did because you HAD to..to save yourself. Be strong. He's selfish, cruel and brutal. You are strong enough to and you can make it on your own without him. He's definitely not adding quality to your life. God Bless you, I am sorry. BTW , there is nothing wrong with you-except the wrong guy.


Mainmaster
That is not the man for you. Leave him is you only option of ever becoming happy again. Find someone better. There is better out there for you. You don't need a man like that. I think you should leave him find someone better. Prove to him he is wrong. For he is wrong.


teNshi
and i thought my problem was that big. actually, i feel the same way. but i'm not living with him, we just fight. a lot. it's sad.. so sad.. he calls me names too. and it hurts. coz he keeps on saying that he hurts me so that i'd understand.. but.. i feel the same way. i cry and he tells me he's immune to my tears. he doesn't understand that it hurts seeing us like this. but i still love him so much. so much that it hurts. i just hate all this fighting. i hate it. i'm sorry i haven't really answered your question. i don't know.. now i'm babbling.


ginny
Rating
I think you know what you have to do, but are afraid to leave. That is natural, but staying is saying you deserve to be treated so badly, and that is also the message your sending the kids.
You need to believe in yourself Good luck and know that there are so many women out their who will help you.


unsung hero
Wow...what a loser. I think what he meant to say was no one could ever care about him. Hun, you don't need another child, drop him. Kick him out and file for divorice. There are millions of amazing men out there who are aching inside for a good woman to love and be loved back by.

You are worth love, you deserve love. You are human, you have needs, he is the one who is mental. Please, leave him and find someone who will love you the way you love.


gonnagetchagood
you cant live without them





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