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mandm68
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Sparkles I believe the best answer for your situation is for you to pick up something for your kidz at the same time you pick up her kidz something. That way there will be no hard feelings on her behalf, and your kidz won't know the difference. May be she just doesn't have the financial means, and in any case you will have been a much better person for your caring, and saying nothing.You already said they never buy your kidz, and I don't see it being that she wouldn't. There's a reason, otherwise I know she would. Put your kidz nme on the gifts from them and say nothing. God will bless you many times. I think you are a very caring person, and look at life from more then one view. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. You have a very Merry Christmas filled with Happiness,Health, Wealth beyond your wildest dreams , and remember to pray for our troops, and light a candle for those who can't be with us! |
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momrfg2003
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I know no other way but to be kind and direct. Something like we enjoy getting the kids something but our kids feel left out. |
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Emanon
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I think it's probably rude of them to not get your kids a token something, but this is a good way to teach your own kids that giving is what counts, not receiving. |
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carolynjlalena
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Cut out the gifts altogether. You should have discussed arrangements with the gifts earlier. Why wait till the last minute. All you have to do is say "So when are the kids gonna EXCHANGE gifts with each other" |
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Twiggy
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Ask your kids if they would like to give these kids a gift for Christmas. Its all About the giving not receiving. It would be inappropriate to ask if they are bringing gifts for your children. You could always just opt to not give, but is that what is really in your heart? What is more important to you the act of giving or ensuring that it is reciprocated? |
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Cameo
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You said that "she never buys our kids something." Why would you think this year would be any different?
Maybe they cannot afford to give your children gifts. Don't be a rude and tactless host by even broaching the subject. |
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Abby_hurr
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ur sister in law is...no comment..even my moms friend gives me and my bros present and were not related at ol...u shud just ask them if they bought presents and ask her what she got for ur kids... |
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Dachy
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I would just ask like it's a joint thing. Say something like, "are we exchanging gifts this year?" Or perhaps, "Do you want to get Christmas gifts to and from the cousins?"
This is something we talk about openly in my family because there have been hurt feelings in the past. We just clearly define the giving guidelines and everyone ends up with what they expected. Just bring it up in a casual conversation about gifts. |
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missie_d_73
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Go ahead and buy a gift for their kids. If they don't do the same, so what. It's about the families coming together to spend the Holidays together. Now if it bothers you that much, call your sister in law and ask her what do her kids wants for Christmas. That may light a fire under her but to go and buy your kids something or it may just go over her head. |
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ndnqt1966
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It is pretty tacky that your sister in law doesn't think of your children when Christmas comes around...but be the bigger person...It isn't the children's fault....and explain to your children that it is better to give then to receive... |
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whyme
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You buy your sister in law's kids gifts. Then you buy your own kids gifts. Boths kids will have presents to open.
If you your sister in law feels guilty inside, that would be her own problem.
At least both kids will have something to open. Quantity doesn't matter. |
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baby cayden is here
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have you ever thought they might not be able to afford it and don't want to say anything because they are embarrassed, Christmas is about spending time with friends and family not giving gifts ! |
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♥~Myfaeia C~ ♥
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Darling just ask them up front, and if they don't plain to give a gift; teach your children that what they do it not only Rude but don't invite them back the next year. |
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elyslund
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Take your brother aside, and I'm assuming he's still around and will be there...point blank ask him,"Are you guys having money problems?"
How much does this family ,coming over, mean to you? Although your sister-in-law's kids are your nieces and nephews by birth.....well, you get the picture. I've known some pretty estranged families in my time!
Then there's the all-stops-are-off answer...when one of your kids is opening their present, just say in a medium-loud voice, to make sure your sister-in-law can hear,"That's the one that(so and so) got you...but your Aunt didn't have the money to get you one this year." Whoa!!!
If the Aunt DID have the money, but was a tightwad...it'll embarras her to NO end in front of everybody...the same for just being thoughtless...same effect!!!
This situation needs to be resolved, peacefully preferably, but...do and say what's necessary!
Elysabeth...poemhunter, as in .com |
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eeyore6838
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Hunny, I have family like this also, it didn't matter I still always got them something, and usually, I bought small gifts for my kids to open from them just to make everyone happy, now that I don't do christmas, they are upset. But I give my kids money cards and they go and get what they want. |
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Mieshah H
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Tell her that you would like for everyone to be up to exchange gifts at 9am (or make up a time you like) and ask her if that's ok. Then in a joking/sneaky kind of way tell her "I'll tell you what I got your kids, if you tell me what you got mine, but you have to promise to keep it a secret". This would give her a hint to pick up something if she hasn't already. Or, you can ask her if she thinks her kids would like a particular item, and then give her hints on what your kids might like.
Hope everything works out. |
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fbomonkey
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Buy her kids gifts reguardless of wether or not yours get any from them....it's about love not how many presents you get. This year I will be lucky to buy anything for my own kids much less somthing for my kin folks kids. |
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tamera_russo1036
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Although I think Christmas should not focus on gifts...I understand what you are saying. I would just flat out ask them and if you do not have enough courage to do that, then you either don't buy their kids something or you do and just grin and bear it. Also, maybe look at why they do not buy anything for your kids...is it because they just don't care and are selfish people or do they maybe not have the money to do it. I know my brothers kids have EVERYTHING, so it is hard for me to buy for my nieces...I just have to be creative...Anyways...the main point to this is just ask!!! |
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♥(`*•.(`*•.¸ ή姧α¸.•*´) .•*´)♥
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I'd say get their kids a gift from you guys, and get your kids gifts from them... that way your kids are not sitting there just looking, and you don't have to ask them to buy your kids anything... if they do happen to bring a gift or something then your kids will have extra gifts...
Or, maybe you guys can use that time together as a family to figure out the true meaning of Xmas! I don't know!
Good Luck!!
Blessed be...
(`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ♥ ¸.•*´)
♥..::¨`•.¸ * M!zt®ë§§ N맧å ...* ¸.•`¨::..♥
.(¸.•* (¸.•*´¨¨¨¨`*•♥ |
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SisterSue
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I would do just as a few other answerers have suggested: "Are we going to exchange gifts this year?" and if she says no, then so be it. |
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hiswife04
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i think you should just be open about it and say that you noticed that on gift giving holidays they don't get your kids anything and to be fair both sets of kids should open gifts at the same time (or not at all). kids pick up on those kinds of things- no matter how small they are. trust me. good luck.
or you can give them your kids sizes and/or the name of a toy they wanted so it's obvious they should get your kids something. |
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chica
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I would either give them a few gift ideas for my kids and ask what their children would like. Or you could buy their kids gifts and buy your kids gifts too so they will have something to open. |
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Ela
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well i got my best friend something for Xmass last year and she never got me anything making the excuse that she would always forget to give it to me, so this year she aint getting jack s(h)it, so dont get her kids anything, it's not fair. |
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yayohelpme
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sound like u have a very selfish sister in law who does not care about her nieces or nephews. Children will be children even if u dont buy for the parents you buy for kids. ME personally i would not buy her kids anything, and let her kids expect something< that way she knows how my kids feel. If u want u could give her a call and let her know what ur kids like to feel out if she buying them something. Maybe they can't afford either.... |
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Joe L
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just get your kids an extra present from "santa" and dont say anything to her or else is will just make things weird and stuff |
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kakeydec
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I would just ask her " So are we exchanging this year with the kids" "Just wanted to make sure before i bought gifts for your children." See what she says.....
It should be something discussed whether you are planning to exchange or you just buy them a gift and not expect anything in return. |
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KingDavid
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It is the birth of Christ,,,,,why so much emphasis on gifts? Your love for her kids is conditional,,,,,you should give without expecting to receive,,teach that to your children! |
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Lady B
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maybe you could say something like. "if you are getting present you might look at" that will give her the idea to get your kids one too. that way you are not being cheeky. or maybe you could say." are you planning on buying --------- a present because i have seen something that she/he would like"
In that form.
hope that helps a little. |
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Spud Pendelton
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Maybe they can't afford it, besides, don't give cuz you have to give cuz you want to. Christmas seems like its routine and its forced upon for everyone to buy gifts and if they don't they look bad, thats not what it should be about, it should be about being w/family and enjoying the company of others and giving thanks for what you have. If you're giving to recieve you got the wrong idea of christmas.... |
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kyla
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this has happened to me in the past.... i simply bought a couple of generic things like "family games" scene it or something and had them under the tree... if they brought gifts then i had them there, if they didn't. i would either keep them in my closet incase my kids ever needed a gift or i'd give them out that night, if we did do a gift exchange or return them.. keep the receipt.... that way your covered.... i know the holidays can get uncomfortable sometimes... just roll with it... it is more about the company... |
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