How does "MARRIAGE" bring stability to a child?

Queen of Beer

Marriage doesn't bring stability....loving, caring parents bring stability. You don't have to be married to be a good parent.

Cham

Ouragon gave you the best answer whether you agree with it or not. Marriage in and of itself is a covenant entered into by adults who intend to keep their word. Much more difficult to get out of than simply being BF/GF, and definitely more stable due to the fact that it is presumed that those who entered into the marriage are wanting this child, more careful with planning, are capable of supporting the child as you have dual incomes, they share a home, the child is going to benefit from all of that.

You can have good parents without marriage, but you cannot have the stability of a family without marriage. In marriage, you have LEGAL obligations to your family, being a baby mama...you get child support...maybe.

Edit:
Apparently you have missed the part about LEGALITIES in marriage v. BF/GF

If he were to walk away now, regardless of how long you've been together, you'd gain nothing. New York doesn't recognize common law marriage, so therefore everything that you worked together to build means NOTHING.

If he were to walk away, you'd have to file a suit for paternity with a joinder of a child support suit. He would have to file a suit to establish his rights as the father and get visitation and access.

He could walk away and leave you to find him and the only punishment that he would receive is child support likely without retroaction for not supporting his family.

You could walk away, deny him all access to the child and there would be NOTHING he could do about it.

If you were married NONE of that would come into question. He would be punished for not supporting his family, and you'd be punished for denying him his child.

Stability in law, not in love because love is objective, the law isn't.

Edit 2: I explained the problem. Just because you say you won't doesn't mean 2 years from now your mind won't change.

Personal experience, along with recent changes in law regarding fathers and their children and vindictive mothers PROVE that there is instability in relationships like yours in the legal realm. State's are now making it a felony to deny access to children even in the absence of a court order...that happens to unwed fathers more often than husband sweetie. That's just ONE example.

Regardless of your personal opinion, marriage is the most LEGALLY stable institution that you can bring your child into.

I proved you otherwise, Ouragon proved you otherwise, and this is with LEGAL knowledge and experience accompanied by FACTS, not just an opinion like you're throwing around.

Just because you don't agree doesn't mean you're not wrong buddy..sorry.

ouragon

It's good that you're happy with your situation.

Personally I would not have had a child for a man who wouldn't marry me. My value is greater than that.

Children and parents enjoy legal benefits and privileges that cohabitating couples do not. These are the tangible elements of stability that benefit a child of marriage.

Divorce is a fact. Your "man" could walk away, too, and you'd have little recourse. You'd have to prove him their father to collect child support, because you aren't married. A name on the birth certificate is not sufficient proof.

I lived with my husband before marriage. I certainly did not provide him a family that he had no obligation to.

EDIT: I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about me. Did you see "I" at the beginning of the sentence?

EDIT: Psycho Therapist (well-named): Perhaps your reading skills prevented you from understanding that's exactly what I said. Divorce happens, but any man can walk away. The possibility of seperation is always there. Less commitment doesn't make it less likely.

jay

I think I`ve answered one of your questions, it was obviously not a good answer for you. Look, what I meant was, go back to your childhood and pretend your parents never got divorced and you had a beautiful life with them. They were loving and great parents. You would feel different if that had happened, right? So, for people that have had a stable home with two parents that never got divorced, marriage is a good thing and a good way to bring stability to children. How can it not? Of course that depends on the parents! Problem is so many couples get married and easily get divorced. So I know where you`re coming from about not wanting to get married and seeing it as a piece of paper. If that`s how you feel and it makes you happy and it`s bringing stability to your child, great! I think differently, but who cares what I think, this is your life and as long as you`re happy, you`re making the right decisions for all I`m concerned.
But marriage does bring stability to children, but when I say that I mean good marriages, not the ones that end up in divorce or chaos! Obviously that doesn`t help kids. But a good marriage, yes it does! And I don`t think you can argue with that just because you didn`t experience that.
Just do what you want to do, why are you still here fighting with people?

mochabiznswmn

Marriage does not bring stability good parents do, and marriage is a choice you don't have to but it is sad to say for legal purposes in society it is the best thing to do ISTcover your bases..

bored brunette

If all you think marriage is is a piece of paper you have no business getting married in the first place; it would seem you have made the right decision.

Commit all you want, but what you have isn't the same as the commitment a couple share when they have entered into marriage.

Carry on.....

opetke

Honey,

When two people are together forever, isn't that called a marriage? Even when there is no church, or white wedding gowns, or cake, or throwing flowers?

Yep. It is.

So take my word for it....you and your HUSBAND are married.

"Marriage" as an institution, is simply a formal way of declaring a marriage, with symbols and ceremony and community recognition. Also, there are legal ramifications that are observed due to property rights, inheritance, and so forth.

But there is nothing wrong with marriage. By your actions, YOU ARE MARRIED.

Congratulations! May your marriage be blessed and happy and filled with love!

Good Luck!

raspberryph

marriage does not bring stability. You create it, regardless of what your official status is.

im the boss : )

i agree with 'queen of beer' lol.

shes right. i think loving caring parents bring stability, not necessarily being married.

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