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How long should you wait for someone ?
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How long should you wait for someone ?

My man is getting a divorce, one of those long drawn out ones. He loves me very much i know.., but he hasnt asked me to marry him.., should I move on or wait? HELP!


    




dollynjanie
Rating
He will be bring a lot of baggage with him so give him time to sort through this or it will show on your relationship...D


Sunny2006
Rating
Go by your feelings.
Hang in there until you cannot feel anymore.
Hang in there until you cannot take being without
him any longer.
Hang in there until he proclaims he cannot be with you. Even then, wait a bit longer.
You have waited this long because you feel
he is the only man for you.
Go by that feeling. You will never regret it. You will enjoy every second of your lives together the moment you both are finally together.


crs-worldtraveler@sbcglobal.net
Rating
You didn't say in your question how long you have been seeing each other.That carries some weight with me as to how I would proceed.I would sit and talk with your boyfriend and see how his divorce is progressing.Has he actually filed?Etc.That says a lot about his seriousness about ending the relationship with his wife,and starting again with you.I would not pressure him into another marriage again so soon,even if he does get a divorce.He will need some time to be alone and be with you and get some strength back,emotional growth etc,just breathing room.If you and he are meant to get married and are secure unto yourselves,it will happen.Just dont put a deadline on things.If things are progressing the way you want them and you and he are growing in the relationship closer...than that is measurement that the relationship you have is working..why tinker with it? If you ask him to marry you now,before he is even divorced,you are putting undue pressure on him.I say wait until after the divorce and then about 6 months more..before you start talking about marriage.Or better yet,do things then to see if he brings up the marriage word...he is the one that has to be ready again.Good luck.


lonewolfinokc
Rating
if you love him i say wait if not move on . there is a different time to wait for everyone it depends on how much you love him


Ms. Ford / Rodriguez
he is going threw a LONG DRAWN OUT D I V O R C E
give him time. Do you love him?? If so you will stand by him long and strong he is going to need you more than you can even imagine.


shakenspeare2
Rating
move on


c.schreiber
move on


prairiestarrose
If you know in your heart that you love him and he loves you, then love has no time limit on it. He probably hasn't asked you to marry him for 2 reasons: 1)He probably wants to wait till his divorce is final, 2)Because of the fact that he is getting a divorce, he's probably scared to get married right now. As long as you both keep the lines of communication open, then I think you should wait.


Zoila
Rating
Move on and see what you can find out there. When he is finally divorced and you're available, well then...re-date him. He won't ask you for marriage until his divorce is Final. I'm sure his lawyer has advised him not to propose to you yet!


Sam
Rating
Give him a break. He is just getting a divorce and may never want to get married. Why do you need to rush him into it. If you are in a hurry, move on and leave him.


tata
Rating
DO YOU REALLY KNOW HE'S GETTING A DIVORCE, BECAUSE SOME MARRIED MEN LIE TO KEEP THEIR AFFAIRS GOING. ALSO AS HE DIVORCES HER IF HE IS, HE MAY NOT WANT TO JUMP INTO MARRIAGE RIGHT AWAY CONSIDERING HOW THE LAST ONE JUST WENT. LET HIM DECIDE IF HE'S READY OR NOT. IF HE TAKES A LONG TIME THEN YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU FEEL YOU SHOULD DO!!


wellbeing
If he's not even divorced yet, you are definitely rushing things by thinking of marriage all ready. Give him plenty of time to finalize his divorce and have some healing time. Even if he wanted the divorce, there is still healing work to leave everything behind how you knew it before. This is a very vulnerable and chaotic time for anyone. Have much patience.


kunjaldp
Rating
I don't know.


underpresser23
The real question is if you think you can walk away. I have been in the same situation and I couldn't. I am with this man now but we are not married, we live together, but marriage is not something that will happen now. We both need to get things together before we do that. And if you really think about marriage is over rated why can't you just live together and see what happens. Men change when you live with them. I'm going to assume you started seeing him when he was married, and if I'm wrong I'm sorry. But you have to understand that when you see a married man you only see the good the bad doesn't come until you are truly together. After being with him when the marriage is over and you still want to marry him then bring it up and see if he even sees another marriage in if future.


Claire
It will take time, a lot of time.
This is just the very first step of living with a divorced man. They are more to come (does he have kids for instance?)
Several people I know have needed around 5 years for their divorce.
You need to know how long you are ready to wait and you need to be aware of the other bags he his taking with him.

My husband has recentely dedided to leave me (for someone else) after 20 years together. I realise this will take a lot of time and every one has to be ready for that. Much easier for you to find a guy who is available. Don't expect him to ask you to marry him until he is over his previous relationship (I am told, on the emotional side it takes roughly a month per year of mourned relationship). Why would he want to marry again when he has not yet absorbed the pain of finishing his current relationship? (not to mention sorted out the finances, practical stuff etc)
It does not mean he does not love you, it just means he is not available now and cannot be.
Good luck
(PS: agree with another answer above: you have only seen the good side of the relationship if you have been dating a married man. There is much more to it. Waiting for the guy is a tiny difficulty compared to what it takes to make it work over time on a daily basis. I am not trying to be pessimistic, just realistic -trust my 20 years of marriage...)


jaimestar64cross
Rating
Going by your own words - I don't think you'll be sitting around waiting much longer --- you sound antsy


anon
He's just geting divorced and you expect him to commit to another marriage?

Give him some time. He may not want to ever re-marry


Dr. Phil-lys
Rating
you're kidding with this question right? Sit and read carefully: do you really think he's coming in with a clear, open and ready to love fully attitude? WHY, I ask over and over WHY do we make poor choices in romance and then wonder down the road why our relationship failed?

Good luck----not looking good from my perspective. Got find an available guy and let this one be. He needs his space, not a crutch.


sunshyne1519
Girl leave him until his divorce is Final. This will give you time to deal with yourself. You need to relieve the stress of that relationship. I'm not saying give up on him, however, you need ME time.


Paratepaquelleve
Id wait till im over him or find someone better.


re_thinker
Rating
Give him some more time, after I divorce Im sure you want to take thing slowly. You can ask him what his plans for both of you are (but dont presure him)


belizeigram
Rating
Ms .Scarlet . 1st of all He cant be your man if he is married to another lady. He also will be committing adultry if he continues one with you. I say this out of love . I feel you should find someone who doesnt want to leave a wife for another , If he is willing to leave a wife do you think later he wont do the same to you? Or even accuse you of breaking up his marriage? I dont want to see you get hurt . i was in a similiar incident and it was soooo heartbreaking.


Traditional Gal
Rating
Is he leaving his marriage because of you?

If he is, you'd better run. What makes you think he wont get bored with you and cheat again?


sweepea
Depends on how much money he has. Or how will be left after the divorce.... ChaChing.


vipersvipond@btinternet.com
Rating
move on he will leave u 4 someone else aswell


crystalsway@sbcglobal.net
Rating
Well maybe You should sit back and talk to him in a calm way and girl if you really love him you'll wait but if you don't think it's going to work than move on but if This Is
True Love than you'll know what to ok but i do hope you find true love in your life and i am so sorry if it does not work. BUT REMEMBER if it It Is TRUE LOVE you Should wait.
I hope I helped if I were you i wait a Little longer.


Topaz
Rating
Move on or wait?? The age old question! Depending on how long you have been with him, you kinda should have a feel if this is gonna happen or not. My ex got married 6 months after we divorced. You just never know. Wait it out...you don't want to jump in to something the both of you are not sure about and end up in divorce court again.


my2angels64
I feel that you should move on. Let me tell you why. I am fixing to go through a divorce myself and it's not easy. Anyone who is going through a divorce or about to, there are alot of emotions involved. Whether your man has filed or not, he is in a mixed of emotions, it doesn't matter how he feels about his wife. The best thing you can be is a friend only right now because the last thing your man needs is to think about re-marrying. The divorce isn't final so you need to allow yourself to be a friend at this point in time and if it's meant to be, he'll appreciate your friendship more than ever if you're patient and not putting any pressure. It doesn't matter if he's been married 2 years, 10 years, 20 years, the ending of a marriage is a very emotional time and the last thing your man needs is more emotional stress coming from you. Be a friend, back away for the time being, give him time to heal and heal his wounds, even after the divorce is final. You wouldn't want him to use you as a rebound either, that's not fair to you. Give him space to heal and if it's in God's plans for you and him to be together, then it'll happen in time. Get to know other people too and give your man space while he's going through this divorce because he's in an emotional state of mind. Divorces are ugly, not pretty. And it's a very stressful and emotional time for both parties, not just your man, but for the wife too. I read a couple of posts and you didn't mention how long you've been with this guy, so it doesn't matter if it's been a year, got to give him space and healing time, and once he's completely healed his wounds and if it's meant to happen, both of you can make it work. If you're pressuring him to marry you, that will push him away and he has enough on his plate already. Hope this helps!


tabby
Have a heart!!!!!!


annmarie17331
been there done that! don*t wait too long life will pass you by iwaited 5 years for a divorce that never did and never will happeni even caught him on the phone apologizing to her because he upset her and i was still dumb enough to think he loved me!i should have had my head examined!! good luck! you*ll need it!!p.s.after the first 3 yrs, i started to push the divorce issue then it became the ''I have a son who needs me '' issue .for your sake i hope i*m wronglastly; the unforgettable she*ll clean me out in child support and alimony payments run as fast as you can and don*t look back!!!!!!


the_other_gal
do you NEED to marry him? what is there to wait for...he is with you isnt he? you dont need to marry someone...if you love him being with him should be more important than aslip of paper!


cara1
if u love him and he love u then u both shud have enuf respect and love for one another to wait and let time heal the wounds...hes still married no matter hw lng youve been together--i feel like when a man or women is truly done with one another and thr married by all means thngs will be done in a timely manner esp if both parties are in agreeance with the divorce. so u can love him and trust him but u also have to use common sense whch is figuring out if hes wit u to gt over her, using u as a rebound, or if hes jus taking time apart from his wife for whatever reason, and lastly u need to make sure hes not jus using u for RIGHT NOW but planning on going back home to his wife. so u have a lot to think about and as far as marriage go i wudnt thnk abt tht right nw b/c if its meant to b it will be. but u shud want him wit a clean and fresh slat---no wife or soon to be ex wives b/c anythng can happen during thr seperation. so jus be his friend and a supportive one at tht but PLEASE DO NOT CUTT URSELF OFF FROM OTHER MEN b/c by u posting ths question shows u hv sum type of doubts abt ur relationshp or else thr wudnt be any questions or concerns. jus be wise and good luck!


anniebird
Let me start by saying that I have been in a relationship with my man for 17 months, he was separated from his wife for 6 months when we meet. His wife served him with divorce papers 2 years ago on their anniversarybut this year on there anniversary she called My phone and said to tell HER husband Happy Anniversary! Hence th





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