How many of you would stay unhappy in a marriage for your kids?

Kari S

THAT is an excuse. Kids know if you are happy or not, even at an early age. People who are unhappy generally fight and fuss. All that does is teach your kids that a relationship involves drama. There are defintiely situations where separation of the parents would be of great benefit to the children. If you are unhappy, at some point you are going to look for happiness. I believe that life is too damn short to be unhappy. I've been in situations that weren't making me happy and I regret the time I wasted, when I could have been with someone who made me happy.

Ashley

If I was completely miserable, I probably wouldnt be that great of a parent. If I was truly very very unhappy, I'd leave.

s. life

I think that people should give their kids more credit.
Unless your kids are newborn they know that you are not happy. I think that when people try to stay in an unhappy marriage " for their kids sake" they are only fooling themselves. Your kids feed off the well being of you also. What I mean is just like we want our kids to be safe and happy they wish the same for us. They thrive because of the way we also live our lives. So, believe me if your in a miserable relationship 9 times out of 10 you are not raising a happy child. You can't hide your feelings no matter how you try. So, don't make yourself miserable for your kids sake.

Katie N

I would not.
Children are not a reason to stay married. If you are in a marriage that is not going well, and you have tried every available resource to better your union, then it is time to go.
Some people think that staying in married, even if they are miserable is better for the children. But I know from experience that it isn't.
Children pick up on things faster than most adults give them credit for. If a couple is not acting lovingly, those children will notice. There have been studies that show that where there are 2 or more children, and the parents bicker and argue, there will be more sibling rivalry and arguments.
Children truly do mimic their parents. If you are acting apathetic towards your spouse, how can you expect your children, who witness this, to be happy?

Lauren

My parents were unhappy when they wee married and being around them was miserable. When they got divorced it was sooo much better for everyone involved.

Wifa 4 Lifa

Never, because it does more harm than good.

Virgin Islands Girl

I would not.

Jenn

I wouldnt!!! an unhappy marriage is an unhealthy environment to raise children... If your kids know you love them than a divorce or a break up wont matter to them... they will just want to see you happy

Scoot

NO! My parents were sooo unhappy together. It lasted for about 18 years....it was horrible. I could never invite friends over because I was embarrassed about the fighting. I wouldn't talk on the phone for the same reason. We never did anything fun. I encouraged my mom to leave because she was soo unhappy. She did. I live with my mom but I still see my dad. I live such a better life now...you don't even know. I'm so grateful that she left.

The kids usually want what's best for everyone. Even if they're mad they will understand later. Kids shouldn't have to grow up listening to their parents scream and yell, or watch them push eachother around. Even if it's not violent or loud, there will be tension and the kids, and you, wont be getting what you need/deserve.

I hope I was of some help.
God bless

crazychick777_2001

Children are very important. But you can't make your self miserably to keep your kids happy. They will end up hurt in the long run any way b/c you and your spouse will always be fighting and not get along. That is not good for the kids. So if you are unhappy in your marriage get out of it for your own sanity.

Aliza, Queen of the Night

I'm a child whose parents went through an unhappy marriage for me and my sisters for about 21 years. Our home life was hell, and no one was happy. Finally, everything hit the fan and my parents got divorced. I'd say we all survived it okay- the bad things that occurred in the lives of my sisters were more results of things not having to do with the divorce. Overall, I think everyone's much happier now. Well, maybe not my mother, but she really causes her own problems. So, if the marriage is that unhappy, I do think your kids would understand if their parents divorced. (This is assuming your kids are old enough to understand divorce.)

annodyne

I wished my parents would have divorced, instead of staying together until we graduated school. I was aware that my parents relationship was unraveled and it made things worse at home.

punkinhead0

Me i think now days the kids deserve two parents , even if there unhappy parents

laguerita175

my mom just went through her second seperation and divorce. you can't be with a man you don't love just for your kids. i would say don't stay with him and find out a way for him to have partial custody of the children or to have him see the kids on a weekly basis. hang in there!

todayillsee

busthead213

I don't think today many people would stay in a marriage because of their children to me that's not good for all party involve and it doesn't help the children.

maneedsun

I was for half of 13 years. Now I am divorcing since my children are enterring high school. There are two schools of thought: (1) If you can remain civil and the children are young -stay since they will develop better with stability of both parents, (2) if you are are argumentative and tumultuous - divorce since the children will be better in a loving environment.

countpetez

I tried for a few years when my kids were small, but it got worse. My kids are in their 20's now and said that it was all for the best. There was no violence or serious issues, just no love. For me and the kids my leaving was the right thing..First you must look after yourself before you will ever make your kids happy.

Stacy B

It isn't worth it. The kids know you aren't happy and what do you think that does to them?

SeaSea

I tried it and it just gets worse

amanda

I don't know, I might if the problemm was fixable, but being from a family where that happened I know that some people are better when they're not together.

searching for a long time

Sometimes staying in a marriage for the children's sake is not always the best thing. Do your children see a lot of fighting and arguing going on? What is worse for children, an unhappy family life or a happier life separated from mom/dad? Have you tried counseling? Have you tried to rekindle your marriage at all? I would give it 110% first before divorce. A romantic getaway. A candlelit dinner. Something!!! You never know, you might find yourself falling for this person all over again.

#41

You know what they say--When momma ain't happy ain't know body happy.

ChaosinMotion

Being true to yourself is the only way to live your life... and your children would not want you to life an unhappy life... you just have to handle the situation in a sensitive but positive way.

reed

That's what I'm doing, I'm 50 and have 4 kids ages 18,16,13,11 . We don't get along and the kids know it, it has been that way for 6 years. The kids have adjusted to it and their all doing great in school with no drugs or drinking.

To break up now would be very hard on them and they said they want to keep the household intact. So that's what I will do, my wife is the one who filed for divorce. She told the kids 3 years ago she wouldn't divorce me until they were out of the house. She broke her promise to them,,,, but I will keep mine.
There's no adultry or phsical problems, we just don't get along. In my book the kids come first and my life is secondary to their's.

â™¥Spiky Sandyâ™¥

NO, NO, NO!!!

â™¥HOOTERS GURLâ™¥

not me..b/c if the parents only fought, that wouldn't at all be healthy for the kids..so definitely not.

USC Fan

It's like you were reading my mind, cuz i've been thinking about that all day...I would until they get older, probably college age before I would leave.

I would. Even if the parents squabble a lot (nothing physical), a divorce would hurt the children MORE.

hunniebun

I wouldn't because your unhappiness can wear off to your children and make things worse. My mother saty married to my step dad for us but it made things worse especially with allt he fighting. They are now seperated and she is much happier now which makes me happy. I hated to see them fight and no kids should be put through anything like that. Kids might not like the fact that their parents are seperated at first but they also need to be talked to assured that the parents still love them and a reason needs to be given. Never leave your kids in the dark half the time they end up blaming themselves.

mansfield2687

Instead of thinking of it from the "unhappy" place, why not think about how to make the marriage a happy one?
Making a marrige last is VERY hard work. I know, I've been married nearly 19 years to the same wonderful woman and no, it's not all been good. But it is those rough times that make the good years so much better.
Maybe some counseling could help and then no one would be miserable.
That is, of course, one of the 3 "A's" is involved;
addiction, abuse, adultery. In those cases, I do believe it's better for everyone to end it.

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