How start to trust my husband again?

â™« Mad Luv â™«

You both need to talk it out like now.
the trust won't just magical appear.
You firstly have to find a way that he can rebuild the trust. What does he have to do to show he is being truthful. Daily check in. Turning in all money, maybe you giving him allowence something realistic and he is willing to do.
If by chance the only thing that you know will work he isn't willing to do then it's over that simple When you end it is really both of your calls at that point
If he is realise that he is trying and give him a little slack. over time (this will not change over night) trust will be regained and you can continue to live in a partnership where you trust communication and share each others passion to one another.
good uck!

Please punctuate properly folks.

If he's barely keeping his head above water, and living on junk-food, picture your life five years down this same road.

To the kerb with him, honey.

jsmlstmch2

Hi, as a guy who's gone through something similar, let me give you some insight.

Guys tend to begin to lie about small things for a simple reason, because if they tell the truth they are going to get a response which is negative. Think about how you would respond if you asked him "did you take the trash out like I asked?" and if he said "no" then, how would you respond? If you'd get irate or upset, then in his eyes, you are getting overly worked up about a small thing. If for whatever reason he is having a tough time then these small things really bug us.

Please don't misunderstand me - I'm not trying to excuse his behavior or lack of responsibility, nor am I saying it is your fault. But, you can do some things to help improve the situation. My advice would be to really really cut back on any negative comments. Say things in a nice way and definitely do not badger. Of course, if this goes on for too long, then it can become something more serious, but, my bet is that if the pressure is relieved just a little bit at home, then, he'll turn himself around. So still feel free to ask him to do small things, but if he doesn't get it done, don't get mad.

Basically, what I'm saying is that guys usually have a reason they tell white lies, and that reason is most likely the simplest: because telling the truth would bring on unwanted problems at that moment. yeah we know that later when you find out youll get angry, but sometimes, at that moment, we just dont want a fight and so will tell a white lie. As you've found out, what begins to happen is a web forms. more lies follow. You two need to change your dynamic, and how you communicate when one of you doesnt follow-through.

Karlee's Mommy

Finance is one of the biggest problems any couple has! If you can get over that you can get over anything and you will see that the trust comes back! Good luck!

nora

some men just are not good at finances and it takes a good woman like yourself to be the person in charge of finances. do you love your husband? if so, then these are little things that you must put up with. go to debt counciling with him. money is the number one things that couples fight about. hes not cheating? if not, thats a bright spot. know you are not alone, there are other women out there going through what you are, you took the cards away from him, but you also need to realize that a energy drink here, and a little junk food is a part of life also, see if there isnt a little you can put in the budget for that...i know i like my coffee in the mornings...

Here's your change

I guess spending money helps him to feel better about himself.
Especially when you're broke and know you don't have money to blow on obsolete things.

Maybe one or both of you need to work a part time job.
And then use that money as your entertainment fund, or put towards an IRA at the bank.

Ozwalt

This is a naturally dishonest person you're married to. Trust can only be built by trusting someone with little things first, and when they prove themselves trustworthy with that, you can trust them with something a little bigger, etc. If/when he betrays your trust, you stop trusting at that level. If he's lying about little stupid stuff, then there's a really REALLY big problem, because trust is a requirement of a successful marriage, and he's refusing to TRY to earn your trust. Definitely keep your finances separate. And since he's not acting like a real partner, you should force him to pay half the rent/mortgage, half the groceries, etc. from his paycheck, just like you would with a roommate.

I foresee that you'll have to give him an ultimatum at some point. Start earning my trust, or I'm leaving.

Pimp The Third

you cant woman!

Tracy L

You want it to go back to the way it used to be? Was he good with money once upon a time? Did he not lie once upon a time? Or was he bad with money way back when...and maybe you just didn't know he was telling lies?

You can't trust a liar. It really is that simple. You will spend the rest of you're life wondering if the things that are coming out of his mouth are a lies.

And whatever you have joint together like credit cards, bills rent etc that don't get paid will ruin you're credit rating along with his. Whether you're the spender or he is. Bad credit is NOT something you want. It will stop you from buying a home one day, getting a loan etc

He will bring you down in more ways than one.

Think long and hard why you want to forgive him...and why you want to stay with him.

Lucky

Men just dont realise that if they just told the truth in the first place it wouldnt be half as bad as when we found out the hid something.

Yor issues are so minour yet so important, you can get over it and trust him again. He needs to realise his actions are making you miserable and the extra cash could have yous living comfortable again.
Dont worry you will trust him again regarding this , aslong as his actions change .....and he stopps being so wrekless with money. Knock that on the head and yous will be okay. Good Luck xx

*****.....*****

wow ...that is horrible! but if the communication is open then there is always a way to help eachother thru this ....BUT he has to want to partner up with you and straighten out or else .......cycle starts ove r

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