How to deal with a nonexpressive, workoholic husband?

My husband works for 18 hrs a day uptill midnight. He doesnt give me time and we hardly even talk to each other except for things related to kids. Our personal relation seems to be getting stale. I have made an effort to tell this to him many times, and asked him to change himself and give me my share of time, but nothing seems to be working out. He makes no effort to keep the charm alive in our life. What should i do? How to deal with him? Should i stop expecting things from him? But i badly want him to be loving and full of expressions. I fail to understand his psychology. Please guide me, i want to save my relationship.

Jane Marple

There's 2 possibilities.

1. He's working really hard to make sure you and your children have all the necessities of life during this hard economical period. If this is so then let him be the best provider he can be. He's taking pride into what he's doing and he'll slow down eventually in 2010. Be supportive and tell him how much you admire his devotion to your family.

2. He's always been a workaholic and it's not related to the present economical situation. I hate to remind you this but you must have known about his addiction to work before you married him eh! That being said, if you can't live with that anymore then you have to make a statement. Tell him you can't live like this anymore and it's to the point you're reconsidering staying in the marriage.

dukemack

Has he really changed since you met him, or was he always like this. It's hard to change people.

Victoria

Maybe hes not the expressive type. Try getting a babysitter and go out to dinner then a hotel for desert ;)

Charu S

Well its hard to believe that someone can work too much. Are you sure you are not over-reacting or have you calculated this ? Is this your love marriage or arranged one and do you know his routine before marriage if yes then why did you marry such guy. If this is recent development then there must be some reason for him indulging in work so badly. Howz his relations with other relatives do he has friends ? do you also have kids? do he devote time to them alone or with you and family ? try talk to him and ask him the reason. if you know what he like try to provide him with whatever he likes the most. Lastly, If you love him then just don't let him go :)

ouragon

If you need love and warmth, why would you marry a man who's cold and withholding? He didn't just become this way. I recommend that you make some friends who meet your needs and take him as he is. It's a good idea to force him to spend time with you by planning things, but you will be continually disappointed if you expect him to be other than he is.

Think back on why you married him. If it's because he's a good provider, he's still filling his part of the bargain.

Pam R

He has in a round about way, showed you by not meeting your needs that you can not expect anything more from him than he is willing to give.
If you are unhappy, find something that will make you happy without him.

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