How to deal with ex wife wanting boyfriend back?

tweetybrrd

First of all, to everyone who's saying he's on the rebound, just because he's been divorced only six months doesn't mean that that's when they broke up. Divorces can take 2, 3, 4 even more years to happen after the initial seperation. Many seperated people start dating once the divorce proceedings start and get engaged as soon as it's legal to be remarried.

This woman sounds unstable. I'm with the ones who say change your number. If she comes around, record everything, every harrassing call or unannounced visit. Go to the courts and see what you need for a restraining order. In many cases this doesn't deter persistent or crazy stalkers but it might scare her off. I'm sure her acting complete loonie tunes doesn't really appeal to your fiance and you probably don't have to worry about him rushing back into her arms.

I dated a guy who had lived with a girl and had one child. After they split she figured out who he was dating, looked her up and asked her a hundred questions on the phone. For this reason he never told her anything about me (she asked). I was never serious about the guy, and the ex was a definite deterrant.

Divorces can mess a person up and perhaps she has a low self-esteem and can't stand to see her ex husband happy without her. So she's trying to make you both unhappy. Hopefully she will find someone else to unleash her madness on and give you some peace.

SCOTT

Show him love and support and let him handle it. That's all you need to do.

eatmy.peaches

If his children are grown then there is absolutely NO REASON for you to be talking to her. It's not like you have to have some sort of relationship with her "for the sake of the children", because the "children" are now adults, as you say.

If I were you, I would cease communication with her immediately. She sounds very manipulative and unstable, and besides YOU DON'T OWE HER ANYTHING, much less any information on what you "do" to make the man you both love "happy".

Sheesh.

Kate

If you think he is worth it stick with it. We all like things that is familiar. She is no different. How many times has something seemed more attractive when its out of reach. They obviously loved each other very much but now he is with you.

She will make your life hell because she is not happy in her own relationship.

Try to focus on yourself and not on her. Else it will feel like you have an elephant in the room every time you are with him. Limit the time you both spend talking about her.

Give it time. You may decide to walk if you have enough. It could be a completely different reason that ends your relationship. Everyone feels disappointed when a marriage breaks down, its the failure aspect.

He has made a decision to be with you. Focus on that and
look after YOU. Dont focus on her. She is his problem xx

Beachbumminblonde

Just step back and let him handle it...don't get involved. Love him and let him know you will support him. see if you he would consider changing your main line. if the kids are grown then she wouldn't need to contact him about them.

427 in dog years

your relationship is going to turn into an insane dis functional hell if he doesn't clarify and define his relationship with you

been divorced 6 months and now he's engaged to you?????
are you the rebound chick???

grown children...........he can have a relationship with them but not her. Period. Otherwise your life will be POOP

Get real

I agree with Scott.

oogabooga37

Be supportive of him and his kids, and be the better woman as far as his ex goes. This will remind him why he's with you and not her. He'll be the one who has to deal with her. If you have to deal with her, be understanding and civil. Let him be the one to confront her if it's necessary!

vernathome

You knew he had baggage when you began your relationship, so you should expect to have have to deal with a bag sometimes, your boyfriend has to decide how to deal with the bag better and should try to keep her out of sight.

joe_fleeman

If he doesn't want her in his life then he needs to tell her again, change his phonenumber, get a restraining order or file stalking charges.Tell her that the way you keep a man is to treat him with love AND respect.
You have only been with this guy 6 months.You know very little about him.If he decides to go back to his ex you cannot stop him.You are sounding like an insecure little 13 yr old hon.Listen to your own question.I can hear the fear in it.You are afraid he is going back to her.If he is so weak minded that he'd go back to a bad relationship, then let him go, why would you want someone who is emotionally and mentally sick?You cannot change or fix him.Let time do it's thing and be willing to accept whatever happenes YET IF he stays with you,the ex will be a part of your life 'til death do you part.

momof3

Ignore her and have faith in him... all you can do

CC Top

A case of a woman scorned and you are right in the middle of it. I wonder why they got divorced to begin with.
You don't have to deal with this: Tell your man that it is his job to stop the insanity ....see what he does, after - if nothing stops and she still interferes with you, get a restraining order, I think you have a plausible reason for that. Maybe this woman doesn't want her ex(your new man) back, it sounds like she tries to ruin the good thing that you two have now.

Paul&Fran

Well hate to tell you when you hook up with a divorced person allot of the time they come with excess baggage. I learned that as well. What can you do? Honestly as in my case they see the light and accept things and move on. Just as my wife was your husband is stuck in the middle of all this. Best thing you both can do is try to ignore her. Once she realizes she isn't causing yall stress maybe she will drop it.

inquisitor

tell the ex to get lost, keep your partner happy and communicate with him... if he still goes back to the ex, get rid of him ... he may cheat on you later with the ex ....

Passionfruit

The BEST thing you can do is to be the best fiancee and soon wife as you can be. dont talk crap about the ex, that'll just add to your fiancee's stress. be the one person in his life that brings him positive energy, happiness and good experiences.

You have to stay out of that drama, dont listen to any stories about the ex because that'll give you unneeded stress as well. stress brings worry which brings wrinkles, rashes and pimples. be worry free and look beautiful inside and out.

i know this is irritating but pretty soon it will become a distant blip in your radar. good luck!!

alexsgurlforever221

It gets really complicated with kids. But all I can say is if your secure in your relationship and know he is on your side, you have nothing to worry about. Make sure he voices his opinions not only to you but to her as well. Maybe in front of you, but not the kids.

qzoet

find a new guy.. you deserve a better guy.. he and his ex can only make you suffer.. and stress..

drewxjacobs

It's awful when one spouse cannot let go and move on. It is up to your boyfriend to tell his ex wife where she fits into his life. In the meantime, you can explain how her behavior makes you feel and perhaps the two of you can find a way together to work through this. It is still a transitional period of sorts and his ex apparently doesn't know how to do divorce.

At any rate, your boyfriend has to man up at some point and not let his ex maintain a place in your relationship. If he allows her to use the grown children to guilt him into furthering her agenda or whatever she does to make his life (and yours) a living hell, then he has a problem, too and may have some letting go issues himself.

bredambrs

First of all boundries has to be set as far as the children goes. The children are grown and should not be much of an issue anyway. Contact with her should be minimal on his part because the children are not minors anymore, and they are of age to choose for themselves without the influences of either parent. Secondly he needs to nip that sh** in the bud with her, and deal directly with kids. If he has not done so already he needs to sit his kids down and discuss why the divorce took place, and make sure they understand the reasons why! This is the only thing that should matter at this time. This will eliminate any guilt that he may be feeling about the dissolution of his marriage. A discussion has to take place so that the childern are not forming negative opinions and resentment about their father. In the discussion of the nature of the break up never say negative things about the other parent, and allow them to have as much imput as possible. In doing this it will strengthen his relationship with his kids, and no matter what she does this will not affect the relationship he has with his children. Third if and when they need anything they should go to him directly she DOES NOT need to be the middle man. As far as her asking you "what is it you're doing that makes him so happy", my response to that is ALL THE THINGS YOU DID NOT DO! I feel like she has the right to feel the way she does, but does not mean that she will get what she wants. I would not entertain her I would simply get a restraining order against her, and as far as your fiance' and her realtionship goes that to should be over because the only ties should be with the kids since they are no longer together. I would like you to take a step back and observe something does his actions enforce what he is telling her. If not this can be a result of her thinking she has an ounce of a chance to be with him. HE NEEDS to handles the situation or this will become more than insanity. This can put a serious strain on your realtionship. It goes back to the old saying misery loves company, and if I can't have him then nobody else will. She's trying to cause a division in the relationship, and if you allow her to do so she will try to move in. Stand your ground girl and DO NOT let that women think that she has the upper hand.

fedup

Tell her that you do everything she didn't do.

cookinit1

You're husband should not have contact any more with her if she can't respect the fact that he ask her to leave the both of you alone or did he?
Ask you're self this WHY is she still in his life if they have kids together then it's fine ,but if there are no kids then he shouldn't talk to her.
If she wants more than that she's not respecting you or his request to go some thing just mite be going on still.

divinerestraint

Move to where she can't find you.

Rosa

That's a tough one. I would not response to any of her childish behaviors. Tell your fiance that you both need to be on the same page when it comes to her. And, when the kids start in on playing games just say things to them like, "oh that's too bad", "really?" "I'm sorry to hear that" that way you are not playing into it. Sounds to me like the ex is jealous and angry. Feel pity for her and don't let her know it's getting to you.

The Perfectionist

That's easy. All depends on your man. Let him handle all this. Don't ever interefere in this case. Let him talk with her. If possible be with him and show him your pure love and keep him always happy. Hope your man will not change hes path. :) Good Luck !! Why don't you guys get married fast?

just me

Unfortunately, there is nothing specific you can do for him. It appears he may be leaning towards going back to her...which for you may seem bad but at the same time, it will keep you out of the drama. Support him in what he is doing and that is all you can do. The good thing is the drama began before you two were married. The thing you do not know is what he says when he see's/talks to her and you are not there. I'm sorry for your situation and wish you well.

Kelsi M

He proposed to you 6 months after he divorced her?
That is harsh

Kevin R

Find her a Man / Woman , to rock her world and then it's history.

sisternvirginia

It's his problem, let him take care of it. If he wanted to be with her then he would be. My guess is that he is still with you because you are who makes him happy.

dilip b

i know ur boyfrnd ex is wrong but i think u should not interfear in ur boyfrnd matters because it is his decision let him think u give him full support that he wants and allow him to take a decision give him some time because in some part of the heart he may be attached not to the ex wife but to the children so talk to him and tell him dont be under some pressure and make decision what u think is write because ur entire life depends on his decision because he may come to ur side today but afterwards he may realize that he should be on that side that in that case no one will be happy not u or ur boyfrnd

so trust me and give him some time and tell him to take a decision that is faith full and no under any pressure

if u think i am write plz reply me at crazydilip2006@yahoo.com i would u really like to know what ever happen so plz reply

tony_le12

Well you are dealing with mentally retarded. But you have to know she have her right and she can want what ever that she think she want. You fiance is the one should know what he want.you don't want to do any thing to leading into an argument between you two.
If i was you, I keep the ignore the B and find the peace between you two.
But let him know, I am a selfish *****, i am not sharing you with any one. I understand you have children with her but i don't want her in our life.

Cincygirl

If I was in your situation I would CALL the ex my self and keep it all the way REAL with her and let her know the deal. Not to use the kids as a pawn in her little game and to leave your man alone. Anything worth having is always worth fighting for. Also you may want to let your man know that he needs to lay down rules for her to respect you.

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