How to deal with my husbands ex wife? It's a little long sorry..?
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How to deal with my husbands ex wife? It's a little long sorry..?
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When I met my husband him n his ex were separated for over 2 years. They only got married because she got pregnant on purpose(which she admitted to later) with their daughter. The marriage only lasted 1 1/2 before they separated. Although they were not together he would still go to her when he wanted "relief" n didn't have anybody else at the time. So she got pregnant on purpose again 7 months into their separation thinking he would come back for the kids well he didn't but again would still see her for "relief". We met 6 months after his son was born and have been together ever since. They officially filed for divorce 2 months after he met me. His daughter is about to turn 5 and his son 3, we just got married a couple weeks ago n have a son due June 1st.
Here is the dilemma she never wanted the marriage to be over so she would always cause drama when we first started. Even to this day I don't think she is over him!! It use to drive me crazy now I am use to it sort of. The problem is she lies about everything even stupid stuff my husband is use to it she apparently has always been that way but I'm still not. I have gotten better but it still gets to me. She finds any excuse to call and have to talk to him when she knows I'm not home. Sometimes when I am home if I'm sitting next to him I can hear her make smart comments about me n he has told me she'll always bring up their past together when she calls n knows I'm not around. I am not worried about anything happening I know my husband can't stand her n only associates with her cause of the children. Half the time she talks he just sits the phone down n has no clue what she is even saying cause she just talks to talk. Anytime something is going on in our lives or with our families then it happens to her. When we told her we were buying a house she was buying one, which she has told us about 5 times n she still lives at home. When I had to have surgery for endometrosis so did her sister. When we told her I was pregnant 5 weeks later she went out n got pregnant by some guy who isn't even her boyfriend n wants nothing to do with her n the baby now. I have had some back issues with my pregnancy n have been out of work since Jan. Well now she has back problems and they are going to be pulling her out of work soon so she says. She will make up these big elaborate lies n ask us to take the kids then we find out later it was just for her to go out for the night. There is no need to lie we love the kids and want them anyway so just say hey I wanna go out can u take the kids. What's the point of the lies.
I know none of this should matter n I have no idea why I let it get to me but it just bothers me he never calls her on anything. I know we all need to keep the peace for the sake of the kids but she drives me nuts!!! So back to my originally question how do I deal with her without going batty myself, lol?
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kitkat
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You first deal with her by not telling her your personal business. There is no way she should know about your surgery or back problems. She is too far into your Business and she shouldn't be. Your hubby should only talk to her about child related stuff, not sit there and listen to go on and on. You two need to talk and put your cards on the table. |
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letterstoheather
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You are letting his ex control your emotions, maybe out of jealousy, even though you don't believe your husband has the least bit of interest in her.
Remove yourself emotionally from the situation - the issues with kids are between your husband and her, not you. SHE is also jealous of you, and probably bitter - hence, the remarks on the phone.
she'd be the least of my worries. I have better things to do than worry about others anyway.
Live your life, and remember she's miserable. |
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famof1
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What a disaster! As long as your with this man, she will forever be in your life so deal with it. The best thing for you to do if you still want to continue the relationship is avoid her at all costs. If she calls, just hand the phone to your husband, and don't tell her any of your business because she is obviously crazy. You guys got together way too early and thats why she's on your case. she feels as if you stole her man from her. You need to also talk to your husband. It's almost as if he's using you to deal with his " baby mama drama". All he can say to you is that's the way she is? come on, he needs to put his foot down and demand she stops disrespecting you! And get visitation in order so she can leave you guys alone. |
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S S
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I think you should ask your husband to limit his dealings with his ex. It sounds like he has personal conversations with her on a regular basis. While it would be nice to all be friends, she seems like she is trying to wiggle her way into his life any way she can.
If your husband could talk to his ex and let her know that he only wanted to discuss their children when necessary and not have any other conversation with her. When she tries to discuss more personal things, he simply needs to tell her that he is not interested.
I think the less he (and therefore you) are involved with her on a very personal level the better it will be. |
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