How to escape my Abusive Husband safely?

DeltaForce

Call the police and tell them you need a safe place to stay. They can help.

Or go to any church and ask for help.

justagirl

Pack a bag with your clothes and toothbrush. Take your Social Security card, driver's license, and any other vital documents you have. Go to your nearest Salvation Army. They will help you from there, such as getting you in touch with the proper people to file a restraining order, getting legal aid, etc.

Congratulations on making the decision to save your life and get yourself out of this horrible situation. Your whole life is ahead of you now. Best of luck.

sarge927

Get to your nearest battered women's shelter RIGHT AWAY. They won't let him in and they can't tell him you're there (that's Federal law). They'll be able to put you up for a while and help you figure out the next step.

Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
Call them now.

redpeach_mi

call the police. i know you might not want to involve the police, but that is the only way that you are going to be able to get away safely. that and if anything were to happen and this whole thing had to go to court, the court is going to need to know that the police have all this on file. they will give you contacts on where you can go. most likely there is a women's shelter in your area that you can go to.

Saphira

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

astralpen

Call the police and ask them to refer you to a local organization to help abuse victims. Or, if you have the money, go get yourself a divorce attorney that specializes in abuse cases.

cautious

RIGHT NOW
contact
Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

Take their advice........and save your life!..Staying where you are is no guarantee that your life is safe!

papabear098

You didnt tell us if you had children? But it doesnt really matter if you have a friend or call a cab just take what is on your back and get out. No credit cards are to be used they can be traced. Do NOT TELL ANYONE YOU ARE LEAVING AND I MEAN ANYONE. Get up as you normal day for you if you work leave with paycheck in hand and dont quit your job just walk away. Go to your bank and clean it out start by saving money for yourself stop paying some of the bills. Carry nothing but cash cancell the credit cards have the lights gas phone all shut off the same day to keep him busy. Use a false name do not use your maiden name and dont file a restraining order. Do not stay in the same city. But you must GO ASAP go to a womens shelter if you have too. Also before you leave bust up the computer so he doesnt know what you are doing and going. Good Luck and God Bless

first off, you have to get out of that relationship, and dont for any reason ever turn back, even if he says he has changed, they dont ever really change.

Some ideas. Search the internet for abuse hotlines, and call for help, another would be to go to the police station and ask for help/ protection. Another is if there is a battered women's shelter anywhere in your area (you might be able to look it up online or in a phonebook.

Do not stay in that situation! What he is doing is not only wrong, but illegal.

Also, you might have to leave town. I know you like your job, but if he is threatening to kill you, you need to go somewhere that he doesntn know where you are (or if you have family to go stay with, etc)

NO ONE deserves to be in an abusive relationship, it is not right what he does to you, and you have to get out of the reltiaonship.

Dont be scared. If you think he really could hurt you if you are there, then go to the police station or call the police if you dont have a car so that they can be there so that he cant hurt you.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE dont stay, you must get out.

gypsy g

Secretly get your ducks in a row. Put aside some $$. Have a secure place to go. Always take pics of your injuries and keep notes. Then choose a day...call a mover, some are very helpful in these things...honestly explain your situation. They'll show up, pack up your stuff, and move you out in about 4 hours maybe less depending on the things you want to take with you when you go. And move you into your new place or storage whichever is necessary. Then get an attorney, and have them file for restraining order and divorce.
I know its scary, I've been there. Although I became everything he said I was. Finally he told me to get my sh!t and leave. Not the quickest way to get it done. And the abuse was worse for awhile. And I can't say that it didn't kill some of my spirit. But I'd rather be dead then live in a situation like that again.
"Dump the guilt; this about survival. It is your responsibility to take good care of the precious gift you were given: Your Body, Your Mind, Your Soul."
www.drirene.com
Cheesey looking website...but has some great facts about abuse as well as contact for help.

Just Smile

Organize a place for you to stay. Go to the police....especially while the evidence is still visable. Get a restraining order against him. Hopefully they'll take him away. Men like that feed on women with low self-esteem. You have to muster the strength and turn him in......to save your own life. Also let people know what's going on. This gives you more alliances against him. You must do these things as soon as possible. I also hope you're erasing your computer history in the meantime. But, get help....ASAP! PLEASE!!!.......

fstopf4

Contact the local womens shelter in your county they have seen this before.. Unfortunately it's an all too common issue. Additionally I would after the shelter have him arrested and just based on the bruising he will be getting a cooling off period and a no contact order.
Good luck and you have my prayers

lovebug2052

hi just type in womans shelters on your pc . if you have a local ywca in your area go there they have a program for abuse woman. if you go to the police station they could help you find a shelter. may god be with you.

Pat

First of all I agree that you need to get out of the situation. This is a sticky area though.

I know many cities offer safe houses that an abused spouse/family member can go to. These houses are generally only known of by helping hand organizations, law enforcement agencies and occasionally churches. I would check with one of these organizations to see if there is something they can help you with.

I wish you luck in your venture to bet out of this bad situation.

red&sassy

if you don't have children, you're in luck. hire a van while he's away and move. go to a gated apartment complex. restraining orders are worthless.

if you have children, call the abuse hotline. it will be a long hard road. thank goodness you have a good job. if u have children, then you need to take pictures and get restraining order so that you can use that against him for visitation. he may harm the children. get an attorney--FEMALE. let her advise you. you get what you pay for. don't use a friend or relative. it never works.

don't do anything until u get the advice of a professional in your area.

wendy c

You are describing the CLASSIC batterer/ abuser. Including the use of fear to keep you from leaving. The first step that you have to take is admitting that yes, it IS that bad, and no, this is NOT something that just happens to "the other women" who are poor and stupid. That is a stereotype, and part of what has probably held you back. Personally I think many batterers get away with it, because people are trapped in the "it can't happen to ME" delusion.
Call the police NOW. You need those reports (and evidence), and they can help get you to a safe location where you can get both immediate safety as well as emotional therapy.

ryladie99

Here is my answer and I did it too many times with my friends. I urge you to contact Rape crisis center which has a center for you to move in and you can get a free consult with the lawyers. By the way, you need a real good friend who can help you connect the dot. You can do it with her help. But, you need to go to an organization that guarantees your life and then you can be free. You have to be careful whom you are expressing to. Please have a note every day about his abusive behavior then it will help you in Court of law. However, if it get worst in your home the cop can bus your abusive husband in jail at no time.Please call and talk to Rape crisis or the churches. Try harder for your freedom. Do not afraid to fight back and you have to remember you are entitle to your Happiness and freedom.

glenn_montgomery88

Honey get you some cash together and while he's at work pack your stuff just what you need and get out go to another state break all contact with every one even your parents tell them you will contact them in a year when you feel safe for a year when you go to the other state file for divorce in a city on the other side of the state then you live so he won't know what town you live in also let the police dept. in that town know what all happened so they can put it on file so if he does find you they already know about him also never get mail at you resident all ways use a post office box or you can wait until he is asleep and beat his *** with a bat to an inch of his life break a few bones show him what its like also take some self defence class's

wow.
This may sound corny, but you need to call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). I experienced domestic violence growing up, and if you have children it will effect them greatly. There is so much advice one can give you, but the reality of it is, no one really knows your situation. If you can, try to plan a get away where he wont be able to reach you, and take it from there. Call the police if you have to. God Bless, and good luck. Make sure you let someone close to you know what is going on, maybe they can help as well.

hellozeppelin

Get help right away! There are many good safe house for abused women. Also, get a restraining order. That will give you the legal protection you need.

Future Mrs. H

What you need to do RIGHT NOW is get pictures taken of your bruises. RIGHT NOW. Get as much evidence that you possibly can.

Tuck away some of your money you make and start saving. Don't open a bank account because if your husband finds it, he'll get suspicious. Hide it somewhere he won't look (under mattress maybe?).

As soon as you have enough money saved up, LEAVE. Go to your mom's or sister's or friend's...just someone that you trust and can help you get on your feet. Don't let him know where you're going, and don't leave anything you value behind. When you are gone, and have SAFELY left (when he's at work and won't be home to interrupt), THEN you get a restraining order and report him to the police. Show them the pictures and get yourself a lawyer.

It's going to be hard and scary, but you need to do it while you still can. It won't get any better and it'll only get worse. You're smart to leave while you still can.

Good luck, you're in my prayers

*~*love always*~*

Where do you live?? Call your local Woman's Protective Services office, they have a secret housing location for women and they assist you with getting a protective order and any other legal help you need.

missy

Here are some places that can help faith house 623-842-3327 sojourner center 602-244-0089 chrysalis shelter 602-955-9059 or 602-944-4999 decolores shelter 602-269-1515 tumbleweed 602-462-5611 602-841-5799 602-462-5611 602-271-9904 my sister place 480-821-1024 602-263-8856 if you live in az

rocker_girl764

I have an example for you that went great so far. My mothers friends long time relationship with a man named Tim was both emotionally and physically abusive. He got arrested once or twice for domestic violence and came home drunk EVERY SINGLE DAY! She raised his children and hers pretty much all alone. She kept saying she was going to leave him but never did. Finally, she did. She left him with her kids and moved into her Moms house. Make a plan to which who you will stay with in the time being you are in court..(you will need the comfort because it will not be an easy time) A.You should invite some of your strongest most close friends over when the time is right. Then calmly start to head out the door with them and leave a note on your kitchen table saying you are divorcing him. B. When he is gone, just leave, and DO NOT tell him where you are going, it sounds like he is a DANGEROUS man. While in the trial times, DO NOT spend time with him outside of court. It is your time to STAY SAFE. Plus, the court will not be impressed.

Well, STAY SAFE and email me to tell me what you think of my advice.

Ask M

when he is not in the house - leave. Just leave, take an
overnight bag and just go to a friends house, or go to
the police station and file a report (but you better be
prepared to press those charges). They need to document
your bruises. They always say they will kill you if you leave.

Better yet, don't come home from work since you are
already out of the house. There are local woman shelters
look in the phone book at work and make a call. And hopefully there is enough money in the bank account
take HALF of what is in there. And if you have direct
deposit on your paycheck, immediately remove it and
open up a new account.

ihurtmyhand

i was in the same kind of horrid spot 6 years ago and when i told him if he didnt stop i would leave him it ussually ended up with him hold a knife to throat so dont tell him your leaving if u want to email me about anything like where u are i might could find a place for you to go to group therapy for free and to learn to look for red flags when u meet a guy or are dating a guy so you dont have to ever be in that situation again, anyways im going to give you advice based off of what i did to get away, i waited for a day that i knew he would be gone most of the day i grabbed the essentials i need threw em in some bags and got out and the day u leave i would suggest moving to a different town or state for a while also change your phone number that day or if the phone is in both your names leave the phone and get yourself a new one dont have any contact with him whatsoever and if u do dont show any kind of emotions to him and dont have any long drawn out conversations with him it will just give him a chance to try and manipulate you and let him try to control the situation and until the divorce is final and you are sure that you are safe and that he will leave you alone stay far far away from him, for me i was in cali and my family was in oklahoma so i got my stuff and drove to ok. but he was still bothering me and randomly showing up in ok. and trying to follow me around so i moved to tn. got a divorce and never looked back, shortly after i left him i would go to womens haven once a week for group therapy and they taught us how to look for warning signs that a guy may be possesive,aggresive,abusive etc just by how they talk to you or certain things they ask you on dates or on the phone and such

C Sunshine

You are NOT stupid. If you feel like a prisoner or hostage, call 911 and get out, now.

FIND a spouse abuse shelter immediately. Don't know where one is? There's gotta be help line numbers in your area.

The man needs help! But YOU ARE NOT THE ONE that can help him.

Sneak out, the minute you can. Get out. Get out. Get out. Call 911, and ask them for advice.

You are a wonderful person with loads of potential. It's no way to live, honey! It's no way to live!

God bless you with wisdom this very hour, indeed!!!
Get out!

Dr Reem

This is very scary esp considering the way most ppl choose to walk out. How bout seeking some protection? Go to the police & inform bout his behaviour. Is he normal? I got te point that he is jealous but sometimes these kinds of traits are hard to distinguish from a real psychiatric problem.
Was he like this before you married him? Is he having an extramarital affair? Have you ever done something to break his trust? Does he suspect you to be snooping around?
Does he drink too much?

I think the only option u have is to seek shelter from either someone you trust, like a friend or someone who is in a position to help or get to the police.

Personally I doubt his sanity after the kinds of things he's already done to you.

SweetLaydy

You really need to get out the abusive situation...Is there a family member or close friend that can help you find a safe place to go(A place he would not think to go to look for you)? If not, Look for a crisis center in your area or a domestic violence for woman shelter in your area they will help you and provide a safe place for you. I'm sorry you are dealing with such a thing. You deserve better...please check the link I included below. I hope and pray you get away safely!!!

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