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cking_pOise...
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Oh my.
He will either grow to love her or be distant from her always.
You cannot change his thinking.
You can however put her in his face continually, that is if you really believe she would be better off being involved with him.
If not, then I say leave it be.
Sometimes it helps love grow when you have no choice but to see yourself in another person and that can happen in spending time with them. I hope that this man grows to love his daughter.
mandy |
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?
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You shouldn't have to. Find someone who is willing to love your kid |
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rose_merrick
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there's nothing you can do. Just be thankful the child has at least one good parent! and choose a bit more carefully next time! |
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Big Eagle
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You can't make him love her so don't try ,so get a DNA test and go from their. |
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Lisa P
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You can't force him to love his daughter!! I would put all your energy into loving her and stop worrying what he says!! He is obvious happy with his family and they obviously don't care!! Cut you loses before you end up with more heartache concentrate on making a happy family for you both!! He will realise one day when its too late - hes had his chance get on with your life!! |
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michael b
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any father that denies is children is not a man...boot this coward in to touch..you and your child deserve better |
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jonquilblack
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You are really up against it here. A DNA test would determine paretage, but then he has to be willing to do that. There has to be something very wrong if it's because his family don't like her because she's a girl, perhaps there is more to it than that. If his family feel like that, they have a problem, and if he is influenced by that he has a bigger one still. On the face of what you have written, you and your daughter would be better off without any of this family. There are other men out there who would love you both, and I hope you find one, because a situation like the one you are in can only lead to pain. I sincerely wish you and your daughter a happy future, and a decent loving family. |
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TremblingMan
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It is true anyone can be a father or a mother but it takes a real man or woman to be a daddy or a mommy. If he could only see through my step daddies eyes.
Let me share a loving story about one mans love:
My Mother had three gentleman callers before accepting my step daddy into our lives. One was taken by my mother but had no real concern for her children. Another was more interested in us then our mother. Then there was my daddy. He liked my mother and was interested in our well being. If she needed anything he was there. When we had to go to the doctor he was happy to have been called. It turned out we were suffering from malnutrition.
Later that night the door bell rang. A man so humbled not knowing if it would be acceptable was standing with bags of groceries in his trembling arms. The silent tears unhidden for his hands could not wipe them away. My mother accepted the offering and he left to retrieve more still in his car. Just a woman alone with six children during hard times. That night her prayers were answered for she accepted more then his groceries offered. She accepted his tender loving heart and our family grew.
His convertible was traded in for a Plymouth wagon with flip up seats way in the back for the extras always accepted in his heart.
I would like to add we were never hungry again. He learned to be a jugular with paying the bills and spent his life working hard in a factory raising his family. For some reason food was always the first thing thought of every payday.
One memory I will never forget. We were at the city dump and my mother and daddy were standing at the pit looking down. My mother had us all back in the wagon and had us keeping our eyes closed. I did not listen well and was sitting in the front seat when my daddy climbed back out of the pit. He placed some wooden toys on the floorboards by my mothers feet and she quickly covered them up. I saw the toys again at Christmas and they looked new with fresh paint.
What kind of a daddy humbles himself so much that he would rummage in a dump to bring joy to a child's eyes. He was not a man filled with self pride but took so much pride in us as he raised us as his own. The song Daddies hand fits him so well.
What a blessing to have a mother willing to accept a man unable to express himself as well in words when his whispers of love could be found every day by his actions.
I truly want this loving and very true story to offer hope for all men and women thinking they have too much baggage. Often I have felt that way myself as a single custodial father but then I must remember.
Thank you all for accepting what I write and allowing me to share a very real and personal experience of my life.
Send it to your child's father and see if it can spark the daddy inside. I could be my story only brings tears to my own eyes but you never know.
God Bless
The Trembling Man |
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orfeo_fp
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he is missing out, love is something a father should feel automatically, i loved my daughter before she was born and without question and always will, he will love her |
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pchelpfix
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Who is this piece of S*iT. He has no excuse to not love his child regardles of her gender. I think its time you started collecting child support. |
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♥fluffykins_69♥
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why do you want a father like this for the poor child, you cannot make someone love another person.
i think you should let go and move on afterall its the childs feelings that count in this relationship and your not doing the child or the father any favours by forcing a relationship on them both.
im sure you want the best for this child, one loving parent is better than having no parents at all |
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denise b
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love her and count your blessings. surround her with people who love and genuinely care for her (aunts, uncles, grandma, grandpa, your good friends...).you can't force the relationship. she sounds like a lucky little girl to have someone who seems to love her as you do. good luck. |
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karen.
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dont try,he sounds like a **** and his family sound worse,concentrate on being a happy mum,he wont ever change and if you persue him your in for a lifetime of grief and not being good enough. |
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Powerpuffgeezer
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By the sounds of the Q it seems you too do not love your child else why haven't you left them all for the child's state of mind. The child will know if it is loved you know |
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siany warny
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Don't...just be the best mother you can be. |
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.·*¨¨*D*¨¨*·.
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hiya
leave him to it hes not worth the energy
you will find a good man who will love you and your child good luck Hunny :o) |
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B i n g o
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There might be some other reasons too. Don't rush into severe action as I see suggested in the answers.
1. Give him some time;
2. Try to have a good relation with him yourself; love him for who he is;
3. Leave dad and daughter alone sometime; not too long but as long as he feels comfortable with it;
4. Help your daughter show her affection for her dad;
5. Treat him with respect and love when your daughter is around;
Good luck and God bless you all. |
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Caroline
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You can't get anyone to love anyone. If you are sure he is the child's father, then see if he will agree to a paternity test. You may be better off without him though, as he and his parents seem to have a bad attitude. |
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The Wandering Blade
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Any man who can look at his child and feel anything less that toal devotion should be dumped immediatly - scum like this don't deserve either of you.
Find someone not so pathetic and controlled, someone who has the strength of character to be themselves. |
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Grand Diva
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Don't even try. You're better off without a man who would deny his own child, and his family sound like nutters, keep well away! |
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sashtou
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If he doesn't want to 'remove himself from their loving embrace,' then there is a fat lot you can do about it, I'm afraid ...short of kidnapping him (and I'm not advocating you do this either.).
You may well get to prove and demonstrate his role in the scheme of things, but if he does not want to move beyond their boundaries, then that's it.
I'd suggest that you work towards saving yourself from 'a lot of further grief.'
Sorry.
Sash. |
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jonynomates
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let him go and he will come back when he has relised what a lucky sod he is.
it sounds to me that u r better off breaking all conection with him and there family if they are not willing to welcome there grand daughter.
as for you, move on and find some one else to love and look after you.
you are so lucky to have a baby to love. |
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Thaylen M
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You can't force someone to accept a child so don't waste time trying. You concentrate on taking proper care of your child. That is a grown man who can make his own decisions so blaming his family isn't rational. I'd leave them alone period since they do not have anything to do with your baby. There are more important things for you to deal with. |
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Bastet
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Hi, you can't make someone love someone unfortunately. It has to come from the heart. His parents seem to have him wrapped around their fingers. This is a problem He has and not you. Sometimes it takes some action to show him what he is missing, and this will hit him someday.
You and your little one deserves someone that loves you and your little one for being yourselves. Happiness is the ultimate goal in life. There is so much sadness in the world these days.
I hope things works out the way you want them to. Best of luck.. |
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kitty
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nothing you can do - hes just a selfish bas-ard, I knew of a man and family exactly the same - and he ended up abusing his daughter. |
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