How to motivate husband?

My husband has no drive whatsoever. I have a pretty decent job, but it's just that - a job. It's not what I wanted for my life and it's certainly no career. But it pays the bills. I've been taking college classes part time, working full time and keeping up with running a house. He has a part time job he doesn't even like which pays only one bill (his truck payment) and doesn't help with any household chores. I want him to get an education and a better job so I don't always have to be the primary everything in our marriage. How do I motivate him to do better with his life without sounding like I'm nagging all the time? I feel like his over worked under paid mother sometimes!
Additional Details
LOL I'm way too tired for a sugar daddy. I take my marriage seriously; I'm not going to divorce him because he isn't a professional millionaire. How selfish and uncommitted would that be? Yes I am strong and independent, but not hard *** and power tripping. I haven't tried to change him like he's some sort of pet project. I love and support him and want to encourage him to do better for himself which in turn would equalize our roles.

papercutfaint

You better just tell him straight out how you feel. No sense in beating around the bush. Tell him you guys can't continue living this way because it's not healthy. Tell him you both should contribute equally to paying the bills and keeping the house clean etc.

Mean Carleen

Leave him! I promise you that would motivate his lazy self azzzz

Julie H

Well, you know you have married a Mama's Boy. He is unmotivated and has always depended on his Mama and now you to take care of everything for him. He has no ambition and is happy not worrying about anything. I'm sure you knew this about him before you married him but you are the go-getting kind of woman that thought she could change him. Won't work. The best thing you can do is divorce him. And make sure he doesn't run up a bunch of bills for you to pay before you divorce him. Then send him back to his Mama. She can make him his favorite dinner and they can complain about how unfair you were to him.

Monday Monday

Can't motivate a grown man as he will do as he wants. So continue pursuing your goals and bettering yourself at least he is not a road block in doing things. Do you love this man? He sounds pretty darn lazy to me.

well since you asked.

I was married to a man that didn't work. But to listen to him talk he was a very wealthy man. I tried everything.
Even when I was out of work for 3 months didn't make him go to work.

So I slowly began pulling back on what I paid for that wasn't for both of us.

First, dog care. I didn't want any and we had up to 9 dogs at one time. So he had to find a way to get the dog food provided.
Second, cigarettes. I didn't smoke and couldn't have it in my house or car either.
Third, coffee. I didn't drink it. In fact, I cut back to only drinking water.

Of course, none of these things worked to make him do something. But he isn't with me any longer either. He is back with his mommy. Which was really the problem. She never made him grow up and become the man he could be.

Hope the best for you.

Hope this helps some how.

Lisa Marie

You can't motivate anyone. Not even your husband. Accept who he is or move on.

Brian

I think its been said so often its practically a cliche- you cant change a man. yet women still continue to try.
the guy is unmotivated and I guarantee you will NOT be able to motivate him. It has to be his own decision- and such life changing decisions are rare.
If its important to you (which it clearly is- very few women would have married or stayed with such a guy) then get a divorce.

It's not about getting a "sugar daddy". But worthy women deserve a man who can, and do, support them.

Mainmaster

Give him the classifieds, with a folder on college information. Talk to him also while your at this. Tell him how you feel, he needs a better job, and better education.

Jeff

Well you could give him an altimatum, Get off your *** or get out. It sounds like he is just lazy, does he do anything round thwe house?

what kind of truck is it?

Sandy Ego

The only motivator I see at this point is kicking him out of the house if he doesn't man up. Sorry.

folklaw62

Why did you marry an lazy good for nothing man?

Space Cadet #5

He's a gift from God. Try looking at life from his point of view.

I recommend reading "Forrest Gump" (the book is waaay better than the movie). It puts the simple life on a pedestal and made me want to move to louisiana and go fishing.

Babygirl

Well im young but i think that what you need to do is just sit down and talk to him about how you feel like your picking up alot of the slack and that you need him to do more as a loving husband. and if he really loves you he will take that as love and not nagging and try to make life alittle easier for you!
I really hope i helped!
Good Luck!

phi.terry@yahoo.com

find a surgar daddy

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