How to stay with a cheater?

My live in boyfriend has cheated on me several times. We've broken up briefly and I always threaten to leave but I always let him come back. He even suggested that we bring another woman into our bedroom and I did it to please him.

About a month ago it was obvious that he was cheating again and we argued really bad. He was gone for a few nights but then we made up. He said that would try to do better, but he feels like I'm hurting him because I nag him and I'm acting very possessive. Since this incident he's home more but still hangs out late on the weekends with his friends. He's been working alot and is tired all the time and now he's on the computer alot. We laugh somedays and somedays he acts like he doesn't want to be bothered. When he's home, he's sleeping or he's on the internet alot but I'm trying to be supportive. I love him but neither of us our happy here, it just seems like it's more so for comfort. He really doesn't take me around his friends or family unless it's a holiday and even then he's talking about wanting his freedom.

How to stay with a cheater? I've been on this rollercoaster ride with him for 3 years now. We took a six month break when I put him out last summer because he didn't have a job. Now he's working hard but still not treating me how I deserve to be treated. I've been hearing rumors about him trying to have 3somes with other women. He's still very affectionate with me but he's always been affectionate and we talk about our problems. He's been trying to keep a low profile for the last month but I just feel in my gut that he's still cheating. I've agreed to not call him and chase behind him as much. A friend of mine even said that she heard him tell someone that he's just dealing with me until he gets a place of his own, but he tells me that he's hear because he wants to be. So why lie? He has put up pics of us on his web page but he gave a discription of all his pics except the ones with me in them. He won't say who I am but describes all the others. How should I deal with this?

jdrumming

"He even suggested that we bring another woman into our bedroom and I did it to please him."

You lost me after that sentence. You live on a totally separate plain of existence than me. I'm afraid that I respect myself just a bit too much to forgive even a single infidelity let alone what you have done.

My advise to you would be to leave this guy and get some counseling to figure out who you really should be and what boundaries really should exist around a real relationship. Good luck.

floridaman39us

Why stay with a loser? I don't get it....

Robert

Forgive me, but you sound like a very gullible, weak-willed person.

You KNOW what to do.

tarynfawn

HOW TO STAY WITH A CHEATER?

UMMmmmm you don't. Get some self-respect. You are worth more than that.

Melanie

Honestly just leave or kick him to the curb, it'll only get worse.

China Doll 3

Don't stay.

__A_YAHOO_USER__

You obviously like it. Any self respecting person wouldn't even need to ask this question.

Lucieeee.

Why put yourself through that? Just leave him.

TotalRecipeHound

How should you deal with this? Haven't you gotten the picture YET? Leave him. He's already proven that he will continue to cheat and you are just refuse to see that.

*. Bre Babe .*

listen up women, GROW A BACK BONE FOR LOSER MEN! kick him to the curb! How does it feel being used and abused?

januckey

This is a long rambling as* question for a simple answer. If you want to keep being treated like crap and cheated on, then stay with him. If not, then don't. If you haven't learned anything from a three year cheatfest then it's no longer "his fault". You're dumb as hell. Move on, or keep playing the victim.

kittysue2000

I don't understand how you can have so little self respect to stay with this loser? Don't you deserve better than someone who treats you like crap again and again? That's not a relationship. He doesn't love you or respect you.

It's one thing to forgive someone who made a mistake and cheated once. But he does it again and again, and you stay with him like a doormat he can walk all over. He is never going to change because you basically give him permission to cheat

Grow a backbone and leave this piece of sh** ASAP and find a man who loves and respects you. But that won't happen until you spend time alone and learn to love and respect yourself

ruyek714

Honestly, I can deal with it once. If someone cheated on me, and we made up, usually the guilt can be a brutal punishment. You can see how a person changes after 1 time. Thats all I allow.

The thing is, he did it multiple times, and is making you feel bad in the form of guilt of being too possessive. He hasn't learned his lesson, otherwise he would have understood it the first time.

Dont stay with him, the only thing you are doing is blinding yourself by saying you are in love with this guy, when you could be having a real loving relationship with someone who is better then that.

If you dont have the heart to leave him, you need to develop some code that you believe in. Since you have no limits, you can always be pushed to deal with more. Determine what you are worth, determine what is the final straw for you to ever leave. People who dont have these rules for themselves wind up staying in bad relationships.

sissy k

Find yourself some self respect and get out. Don't you think you deserve a man that will love you the right way?
I know it is hard to leave someone that you have feelings for but in the long run it will be worth it. I did not find the man of my dreams til I hit 30 but it was well worth the wait.

â™¥Melissaâ™¥

Do youself a favor, and dump this guy! He obviously has no respect for you, and it seems as if you're only staying with him for "comfort." If he's acting distant, and he's on the internet a lot then chances are he's messing around. I don't want to jump to presumptions, but it sure seems like something isn't right. If you can't trust someone, then what's the point? He's obviously not a very trustworthy guy. If he's messing around, then that means he doesn't love you because if he did, he wouldn't want to hurt you like that. Have some self respect, and find someone who will treat you like the center of his universe, and someone who will treat you with respect. That's just wrong what's he doing to you.

vincent

Seriously you can do a lot better pack your stuff and leave.

Mark

Ditch the b'tard and find someone better. Don't worry, not all of us men are pigs, some of us are pretty ok ;-)

I Love 007

Are women really this weak, low self esteem and lonely in 2009 to rationalize staying with a cheater? What is your worth? How do you value yourself?

Think STD's - chlamydia, herpes, HIV - AID'S

Barbie Girl

you can't stay with a cheater once a cheater always a cheater

Raul L.

The more freedom you give him, the more he will run over you and just keep using. When he doesn't put your name on the pictures, except the ones that you are not in, that to me is a sign that you are very unimportant to him. He is just using you until you put your foot down and tell him that enough is enough. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck.

Janet W

I'm not reading this, it's too long.

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