How to stop my wife from humiliating me?

Shony07

Well, for one i do agree about not arguing in front of your child, thatâ€™s very smart. And i am sorry about your rough childhood, and i applaud you from protecting your son from something like that. But you should still confront ur wife about your issues wish her, in private. Because if you keep it all bottled in, it runs the risk of you just having one HUGE outburst. Try marriage consulting, play acting roles you be her and have her be you so you guys can both get a prospective of how you view one another. Or just sit her down and instead of telling her how what she says humiliates you, try telling her thatâ€™s its affecting your job and your whole day. Let her know that you cant take it anymore, then maybe if she loves you she can then relies she doesnâ€™t want to lose you, she will try and work out her problems.

Sue W

If she wasn't like that before, but only after the baby came, it could be that she has post-partum depression.
Her doctor can help her with that.

:-)

Two words that may just save your marriage: MARRIAGE COUNCELING. I swear by it, as it helped bring my own marriage back from the brink of a divorce.

huckleberry

You say you had a good marriage until today. If that is true then why would today change things? I can't imagine that things were perfect until today.

First, is sounds like your wife is tired. It is not easy spending an entire day with a one year old, and most mothers do it day after day after day. It is exhausting. Many people when they are tired and bored lash out at those they love most - and sadly that is often the husband especially if he works out of the home.

There is no single solution for this. Things that might help would be a babysitter on occasion so that your wife can get out of the house and go shopping, or exercise, or whatever. We all need time alone.

Get a babysitter and take her out for supper. It does not have to be fancy or romantic... it just has to be away from the house and away from the baby.

Your job is important, but the well being of the mother of your child is also important. Would it be too much to ask that you do SOMETHING just for her and you a couple of times a month? I don't think that is too much to ask. Your marriage, your peace of mind, and everyone's health will be enhanced by you giving a few hours of your time a week.

inferno_9id

Vijay, as u say u had one year old boy, So perhaps your wife is on baby blues mood? I'm not an expert, but I think, sometimes women; when they had to stay at home, taking care of the baby, they often feel depressed. U know, stay home, hear crying so many times, the body doesn't look good anymore,etc.
maybe the husband didn't see that, but, when women had heir first baby, they'll feel simply down for simple reasons. try talk to her, and it's not about u, ask her, what's her problem, and what can u do about it.. is she tired or what?

the key is: Listen to what she said, 'cos sometimes women; what they say, the meaning is just the opposite. complicated? it's women..
Goodluck, hope I help a bit ;P

so.dead

you already mentioned the reason why she keeps on doing it...

"I dont argue back and just remain calm"

try talking to her about it when she calms down and work things out...

Lydia

You have to stop being passive-aggressive, and get assertive. If you are troubled by it, do something about it and talk to her about it. Seriously. Get counselling if you must. But don't sit back and take it, and THEN explode. That doesn't do any good at all. Frankly, a lot of the time what a couple is arguing about isn't the true issue - 99 per cent of the time there is an underlying issue.

Riddler07

Congrats on putting up with her. She shouldn't be blaming you for everything that happens. If she blames you then she should blame herself for you are a couple. I would be specific with her tell her in detail what this is doing to you and how you truly feel. Perhaps, not in front of the kid. Tell her that you care for her and don't want this to hinder or ruin any part of your relationship. That you care about her and want to work this out together.
I wish you the best!

Byron

Dude....that's what women do. Deal with it. If you wanted a peaceful life, you should have stayed single.

Zed23

Girls in general needs to be treated like a lady and not just a mere household help or something of that equivalent.

What causes your wife to be flaming mad at things and being bad/mad towards you could be associated with the way you are treating her. As I've said, if you are treating her like a "thing" which you could just use if you feel like it and then forget it in the end is not a humane thing to do. Especially if she's your wife...your better half.

Let me put it this way. Marriage and relationship is a "two-way street". It takes two to tango as they say it. In order for your marriage to work out, one should treat the other fairly and humanely. If one overpowers the other and cross his boundaries, the other would react thereby creating a friction which is bad in a relationship. So ease that friction by starting to treat her nicely (but do not spoil her as she might abuse it too) as possible. If you did your part and all is well, it's up for her to do also her part.

Though you just did the right thing of not fighting back at times because as it might ignite more arguments later, but that is just only one part.

If all that I've said didn't work out right for both of you, i suggest that you both consult a marriage counselor. Goodluck and hope the best for you both.

kikime

Knock her on her a*s a few times when your child isn't around. That will teach her!

teenhamodic

Effective communication is the key to any relationship. Make her understand how you are feeling, in whatever way you feel is best (telling her, writing her a letter, drawing her a picture, making her a video, etc.). If she can understand how you feel, and still continue to behave the same way, then you may need to reconsider your relationship.

Marriage counseling could help facilitate this communication.

fz7481

dear Vijay,
Your story remind me of my dearly husband. i believed he used to have same problems like yours due my attitude like your wife. My advise is I strongly suggest you should take her to nearest psychiatrists ASAP just like my hubby did. Now my baby girl 3 years and i never regret on my hubby decision. Yes it hard for me or ur wife to accept it at first but the end its a big relief for us and perhaps to u as well. You said that you wanted a peaceful life so only you can make it happen.It all in your hand......
If u need more info here my email stormyfz7481@yahoo.com.my

I be glad to shared my story to help u and ur wife for a sake of our happiness..;-))

deneansmith@att.net

You're not hopeless unless you keep confessing it. You're doing the right thing don't stop now. Sit her down again, it's apparent she didn't get it. Tell her this is stressing and is causing an affect on your job performance, if it keeps going this way you could lose your job. Let her know what it is that she is doing to make you feel this way it could be possible she don't know what it is she's doing to you. You just shut up!

Express Yourself

Ethan-Mikyle coming Apr 28th!!!

I am a wife who "moans all the time".

I can understand that you don't enjoy it, but there must be SOMETHING fuelling your wife's moaning moods.

My husband also complains that he can't understand why I "always fight without reason".
Quite honestly, we do not wake up and decide to be tyrants that day! I never get upset without reason! I mean, for heaven's sake, why should I need to tell a 32 year old man to pick up his clothes??!!?? Why should I need to remind him to drink his vitamins or eat properly?

I mean, really now!!! !!! My husband and I sat down for the 20th time and told each other what we expect form each other. All I expect is some basic manners, not him to do a quadruple back flip off the light switch!!! !!!

I mean, when I need to ask my husband for the 3rd time in one meal to eat properly, I'm well past frustrated and it ends up in a huge fight, where if he had eaten properly in the first place, I wouldn't be getting angry!

Maybe you should go sit your wife down and ask her to write down for you what she expects from you, and what you must change. Then you do the same. Then when your baby's in bed, discuss the issues. If she says that you don't need to change anything, and that she's happy with your behavior, etc then you got a bigger problem. Perhaps she's suffering from post-natal depression. You need to then point out to her what's going wrong and get an undertaking from her that she will get help to deal with her issues.

You'd probably see that your wife is not unreasonable, but totally frustrated!

Good luck, it's not a nice situation for either of you to be in!!! !!!

sylvery_fae

She may have some emotional problems from her past that keep her from a healthy relationship, i suggest counceling...at first together, then if you can calmly suggest it, each of you alone....i hope it helps.

Charles Athole M

I am in the exact same situation as you. Counceling no because my wife wont go. I have put up an altimatum and now she must decide. Behave or go away. Still working out how I will get the kids. Good luck and I mean it.

Brujo1972

get some family counseling

gansatanswers

just give a smile to her

twinky24

your marriage was fine until a child comes along??? it seems to me your wife is suffering from post natal depression... talk to her about getting help.. it will not get better until she was diagnosed by a doctor... GET HELP ASAP...

Powergirl

sounds familiar. thought it was the old me. managed to change and now happily married with 2 kids. when 2 persons in different environment, things changed and expectation changed. especially when you have kids... she probably wants you to know her importance and that her decisions/suggestions are always 'the best'. she might not be able to see her own self. do see counsellor and i can assure you... it works! good luck!

rpetch007

take your son and leave now.

bob

You are not helpless.

Give her examples of things she says and tell her that hurts your feelings. If that doesn't work, you can use the "broken record" technique and give her more examples.

Then eventually you can look at her dead in the face and say "Are you trying to hurt my feelings?" Then, "Well, you are. Stop." I would think that that might give her some feelings of humiliation that would help her to relate to what you're going through.

I really don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Consider counseling.

Wish you the best.

repentant sinner

2 things:

!. if you are not happy, what's the point in staying with her?
2. If She is belittling you, it's probably because she has something about herself that she hates.

oxendinebrenda

I think you two need to seek some christian counseling. Do you think she may be going through some type of depression. Please seek help immediately to save your marriage .Let her know even though your baby is only a year old ,this has a reflection on him also.YOu are not a door mat !

Dirty

go to marriage counseling. if that don't work get a divorce and try to get custody of your son.

yeahright

well dear, if your wife were happy with the life stile u re providing for her and your baby she wouldn't be pecking on u. she is obviously frustrated with her life and doesn't know how to find the way out of this situation. so she tries to make u to improve it. but i am sorry u do sound like a loser. what, u had rough childhood? so who didn't? most of the population had rough childhood. only losers find it as an excuse for failing in life. your being silent and not doing anything about your current situation is not helping. u shoud ask your wife what makes her so unhappy (i think u know it anyway - isn't it the same stuff she is telling u over and over?) and try to fix it. if u can not fix it u should divorse her. but her pecking won't stop, don't even dream about it.

Magick

Get use to it, some women are just moody.

Sweet Suzy 777!

Totally ignore her when she is being bad. Take the nearest exit, don't look at her, don't talk to her. Only give her attention when she is being good.

I learned this in a parenting class, it works really well on adults too.

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