How would you feel, or think, or what would you do, if you were in a relationship like mine?
Find answers to your legal question.
How would you feel, or think, or what would you do, if you were in a relationship like mine?
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My ex-husband and I live together. We were married in '94. Divorced in '01. He moved to another state until '03, then moved back in with me. In '05 we moved to another state together. Everything, including our money, is like it would be if we were married. The only thing is, we have separate bedrooms, and there's no romance at all. In fact, we haven't done 'that thing' since before we filed for divorce.
I know we really love each other, but I have no romantic feelings for him at all. We both seem to be okay with that part of our relationship. The thing is, though, it's hard for me to accept, sometimes, that I'll never have that special kind of relationship with a man, physically and emotionally. There is some occasional affection, though. Most of the time I don't think about it, but sometimes...
Sometimes, though, I feel like we're both selling ourselves short.
We're both 46. It was my third marriage, and his first.
In a way, it's just confusing. Sometimes I wonder, and maybe he does to, if we're just settling for this relationship, because we both think no one else would want us. We're content, and believe we'll always be together. I'm just confused.
We get along with each other very well, and have never had any real fights. Most of them are just temper flareups, and I'm often the one who starts it. Probably because I'm reading things wrong, and overreacting. Then we're over it in a half hour or so, and apologize to each other. So it's not a sick, twisted kind of dependency on each other.
So, what do you think? Would you be satisfied with a relationship like this? How would you feel if you were in a similar relationship?
Additional Details
I know he's not meeting, or seeing other women, and I do see a therapist. Besides not being able to see someone wanting me, I can't picture myself falling in love with someone. I don't go anywhere to meet anyone, though. There's only one person, now, who it would even be a possibility of me wanting. I've been in love with him for at least twenty years, but I know I'll never see, or talk to him again. But if I could have him, I don't know if I could, or would leave this person for him.
I think this question should be in the Mental Health section.
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Barb Outhere
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If you are living with him like you are still married (except the whole bedroom thing) then you are choosing to close yourself off to the opportunity to meet and be with someone who is willing to offer you what it is you need. You are afraid.
You hang on to a far less than perfect relationship just to no longer be alone, and I think, to give yourself a reason not to put yourself out there again. You think "this is better than nothing", but know it isn't. That's why you have "...just temper flareups, and I'm often the one who starts it. Probably because I'm reading things wrong, and overreacting...". Its because you know you are miserable.
Settling? Damn straight. |
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Anna
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You don't have a relationship. You have a roommate and that's all there is to it. I for one wouldn't be satisfied with just that. You're still young, why are you settling for something that is less than? You can still be friends with each other but it's time to cut your losses and move on with your lives. |
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lolly
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It's really more of a friendship, or a room mate system if anything. The point really is, are you satisfied with this relationship?
You sell yourself so short. Saying that you know you will never have a relationship again. But why? You are only 46. In terms of dating, you aren't too old. I think you need to get out there. You don't have to settle for less. |
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chelle
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You are selling yourself short...Its nice that you and your ex-husband can be close but all he is to you right now is a friend/roomate. If you want more out of life than this I suggest you continue looking for the right guy that can provide everything your looking for. Good Luck! |
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Paul&Fran
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It doesn't matter what we feel or think it's all up to you. Are you happy? Would you be happier on your own? This being your third marriage should tell you something. Either your not satisfied with what you have or you don't feel you deserve to be happy. Maybe talk to a therapist because it seems you have some underlying issues. Good luck |
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Sina
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yes i feel |
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Horse Up
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Just be room-mates and let it be. Nothing wrong with that.
That's probley all he wants anyway. You do your thing and he do his thing. |
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Latina con SABOR!
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Well no I would not be satisfied. You have your doubts obviously, so why not go for it, you're never too old for love. Just get dressed nicely, do your hair and go to a good hangout spot, have a good time and meet new people. Eventually someone that will make you happy will come into your life. Everyone deserves "that special kind of relationship". |
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baran
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ssss |
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Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
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