Hubby says I'm being overly sensitive- what do you think?
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Hubby says I'm being overly sensitive- what do you think?
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So, this is regarding one of my closest friends who also happens to be my husbands sister, Jane. Jane's husbands good friend, Charles, had surgery on his finger earlier today. When I spoke to Jane this morning she said that she had bought Charles a cd and a get well card and that she was going to be at the hospital while he was in surgery. This is nice of her and all right? I should feel good that I have such a nice friend. Here is the problem....
I lacerated a tendon in my finger back in September, I had to have it surgically repaired also. She didn't come to the hospital...she didn't buy me anything and she didn't even call afterward to see if everything went well. ( I mean seriously, I called her the day after surgery to wish her daughter a happy b-day). I've been really upset ever since she told me that this morning. I've always known she's been a little selfish and self centered so it didn't really bother me initially. I thought that is just the way she is and my feelings weren't really hurt by her lack of care. Now I'm annoyed, is she just trying to show off for Charles? (BTW- I HIGHLY doubt her husband put her up to it, I did not get that impression AT ALL) Am I just being petty? Would your feelings be hurt too?
I feel like I've been thrown under the bus, like what are friends for? My husband says that it was wrong of her to do those things for Charles and not for me but that I'm overreacting and being overly sensitive about the whole thing. She is SUPPOSED to be one of my best friends and now I'm doubting if she was ever my friend to begin with.
Additional Details
Charles IS NOT her husband- it's her husbands friend
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La Vie Boheme
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Bring it up..be honest and tell her it hurts. |
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IslandArtiste
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She may have a crush on Charles! |
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HellsBells
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Sounds to me like she just likes having you there and isnt' really a friend at all. You have a right to be upset when my friend excluded me from her wedding due to "time" . So I feel kind of like these are the same things if she couldn't even just CALL you after your surgery but can take this other person a CD there is something wrong here. Maybe it is time to start severing the ties of this relationship and letting her know that what your want is TRUE friends not a friend in name alone. One that is not only there for you to fawn over but going to be there to fawn over you! |
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Softtouchmale
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Your doubts are well-founded. If you feel this strongly about it, and she's your best friend. Then obviously she won't be offended if you bring this issue up with her.
You might just find out that something happened before that prevented her from treating you in the past the way she treated this guy now.
Of course there may be other reasons why. But maybe if you calm down and not take it so personal, next time something like this happens, just treat her the way she treated you. |
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Marilyn
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why do you say 'today'? you posted this about a month ago |
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MamaLuna
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You should just talk to your friend and see who knows maybe there was something going on in her life at the time when you hurt your finger that you didn't know about.
Just talk to her and get it all out in the open. |
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sheloves_dablues
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I would probably feel hurt, too.
That said, YOU aren't a very good friend if you keep score. Jane doesn't owe you anything. If she chooses to do something for someone else that's her choice. Good friends don't pass judgement on each other's choices.
Your husband is right. Get over it. |
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Beth
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I agree with your husband. So, your SIL isn't as thoughtful of you as you are of her. This is just how people are. She has a different relationship with Charles and could even be having an affair with him. Whatever it is, if it bothers you so much, and she is your best friend, discuss it with her. Good luck. |
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jl
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Thank god I only have one X chromosome.
All the real issues I can solve without having my brain worked up with BS.... |
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Janet W
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She has a different relationship with Charles than she has with you. Of course you do things for your husband or wife that you don't do for friends. I think your acting a bit childish. I hope that you treat your husband differently and more devoted than you do your friends. |
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Peggy
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You're being too sensitive. It was just a finger surgery, it does not require a hospital visit. Maybe she was busy or had something going on that you didn't know about. Cut the girl some slack! |
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Doctor Ashley
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your correct
and she should be unhappy |
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