Husband came home at 3am?

JUNIPER

No, you are not, unless you turned green and started to pick up the furniture and throw it at your hubby! Listen, when I was pregnat my husband he went out a few nights with my brother and stayed out until 4 or 5 in the morning. I cant sleep without him lying next to me so I counted the minutes and seconds. I was a little angry because I looked at it like this: he rather be out with his friends then being at home with me. However that is the wrong way to look at it. Look at it like this: you are pregnat and about to have a HUGE change of life. If you love your husband, let him go out and have a good time with his friends because when your baby does comes, that behavior will no longer be acceptable...unless planned a week in advance and is rare. Men are different then women are. If you cage up a man then he will be wild and run away when he is free. So going out and getting some fresh air is healthy....after you have the baby, you should try it for yourself!

Quiet Curiosity 1970

That is something you both need to work out between the two of you. Every couple is different.

In my opinion, if he is trustworthy, you should have no problem. However, if you are uncomfortable with this action, he should respect your feelings.

Denis B

So long as it's not a regular thing, let him have his time with his guy friends........it's important to maintain sanity

â™¦justmeâ™¦

Well........In the 9 years we have been married, my husband has come home that late a few times after a night out with the guys. I have also been guilty of this a time or two. I know I'm not up to no good. Usually my friends and I get to talking and forget about time, so I assume it's something similar when he has done it.
Pick your battles. If this was an every weekend thing, I would say it's an issue, but if this is a rare occurrence, you've made your feelings known, now just let it go.

eightmandu

He shouldn't do it all the time, but once a in awhile should be OK. He needs to blow off steam. Family and relationships are beautiful, but stressful. If you don't let him out to goof around with his friends (and not cheat on you) then you guys will end up fighting about everything. Give him a break now and then! And in return, he should watch the kid (both of them once you're no longer pregnant) and you deserve a night off every so often, too.

Glamourous_Girl

You do have a point.
You are pregnant, he should understand that should be around to support you.

George

Probably if he doesn't have a history of staying out late and or cheating.

He is being insensitive...but it is not uncommon to be out with friends (especially if he was drinking) and get carried away and stay out a little late.

It seems more like you ought to be a little annoyed vs. furious. If it is a pattern or he has a history then I understand furious.

Good luck.

Lindsay

It all depends. If he behaves like this frequently then I think you have every right to be mad but if it's a once in a blue moon type of thing then maybe you should relax a little bit and just ask him next time to be home at a more reasonable hour.

countrysweetheart

After you have the baby, have a GIRL'S night out! Make HIM take care of the kids and YOU come home late like he did. Turn about is fair play. Men sometimes have to have a taste of their own medicine before they "get" it!

babychanel

I agree with you but if this is not a frequent thing and you are positive he is with his male friends then i dont think you should make a big deal about it.once in a while its good to loosen up a little.this goes to you too.i know your pregnant right now but in the future don't hesitate to hang out with the girls once in a blue and have a little fun.Im pretty sure he won't mind watching the kids for you to get out once in a blue.if he does he is a total a ss. :-) take care of yourself and focus on your well-being.if this is a frequent thing get rid of him you dont need 3 babies laying around.Good luck with all.

nena

Youre perfectly valid in being upset only because he had promised not to be out too late. You definitely need to allow a man to have his time with his friends every now and again though. Talk to him about it and let him know you're ok with him going out as long as its not something he does all the time. Especially once the baby is here (which I'm sure is probably part of the reason he wants to go out now) if he's a good man/father/husband, he won't go anywhere that late for a long time after the baby gets here.

jk1967

well i guess so what does he think he is doing out drinking all nite he married u and he has responsiblities at home taking care of his family. going out for a couple beersis one thing but this is outrageous

oracleofohio

Making a promise about not being out late with friends was kind of silly on his part. I know I've been out and thought I would be in earlier and we just started having fun. The phrase "Time flies when you're having fun" comes to mind....I was out later than expected with a friend the other night and my husband smiled and welcomed me home....

If he was with friends then what does it matter? Wasn't everyone sleeping by that time anyway? Being pregnant doesn't mean that you can't be home alone. I've been through four pregnancies and it never bothered me that my husband wasn't here every waking hour....relax.

smc76

NO, you have the right to be upset.I agree with you. He should be at home with you .

Sandra D

On occasion, no problem. On a regular basis, yes that is a problem.

No, you are not overreacting.

Mr Answerman

Relax ... let the boys have a little night out together.

It's that "male bonding" thing we do.

Johnna Riddell

NO! you are not overreacting. you give him the security of knowing he has a faithful lloving wife at home... and a wonderful mommy for his kids.

the same courtesy should be given to you, period!!

The thing is, married peple going out SEPERATE, leaves a window open for temptation. so maybe he was good this time... but what about down the road.
Also, he LIED. he said he wouldn't be out late, and well... in my book, 3 AM is late.

I think it needs to be addresses.
Good Luck and God Bless

Valerie X

No married man with a family at home belongs out until 3am......that is insane.

I don't care if he is 22, 42, or 62, a married man that has a family is supposed to be at home with his family.

Period.

hyabusawife

My husband used to do this to me while I was pregnant. Hell....he still does this to me. As a matter of fact, he did this exact thing last night! Dont blow up at him, it will only make it worse.

Sharon O

I don't think you are over reacting at all.. out drinking is no place for a married man... you really don't know what he was doing.. have a talk with him about it.. you are pregnant and he needs to be there to help you out too... good luck..

shakyjake48

Your over reacting..But he should have called to let you know where he was at.

Nodality

Yes, you're over reacting. You're his wife, not his controller. If it had been you out with your friends how would you feel about it? And I don't think you have any business telling married men what they should and should not do. That is for them and their partner to decide.

sjbrown25@att.net

No, you aren't overreacting and I'm also a female in my 40s, who also feels the same way. I'm here in CA & of Latina descent, and my husband is in his 50s.

Regardless of the situation, whether you're pregnant or not, NO married man with family, has any kind of business being out running the streets or whatever he happens to be doing, at such ungodly like hours, PERIOD!!! Not unless, he's working a legit job bringing home verifiable income-end of story. I mean if that was the case, then why did he get married for? And yes, like you, it doesn't matter if a woman was involved or not, the point is, it's a no-no. There's nothing out there in the streets, except trouble and an open market for legs.

And again, this also goes to show morals/respect for the kids in the household, you can't preach to them nothing, when you're doing wrong yourself (referring to your husband, as well as mines)-there's no such thing as "so-called friends," that your family doesn't know about or you haven't introduced them to. Either way, people that run the street CAN'T teach you nothing, to improve your situation, when they're all doing the same mess.

But then again, look at it like this, while partners (whether they be male or female) are out running the streets, doing nothing conducive that'll improve their situation, then those same people also better not go around complaining and boo-hooing when they might not wind up having a house/family left. Why? Because all that time that was wasted out running the streets, could've been used to deal/bond with the family and their issues. That's my take on the issue.

Good luck.

hogsnotbubbles

You kind of sound like you have the old ball & chain on his ankle!!
If their out with the boys, they usually sometimes go to a house party or still hang at someones house when the bars close. IF he wasn't with a woman, then I really don't think you should be upset.
It sounds like you don't allow him to have much time with friends! Maybe you should also spend time with your friends, so you know how it is when your enjoying their company and don't feel like running home.

Badgrl

The main issue I would see here is that he promised you he would not be out too late and obviously didn't contact you to say he would be longer than expected.
I think going out with his mates every now and again for a session is OK - it's the telling you one thing and doing another that I would have a problem with.
Ask him to imagine the rolls reversed - if you said you'd be home at, lets say, 10pm and you rolled in at 2 or 3 in the morning I'm sure he's be worried/mad.
If you lay down rules and say he can never go out at all he'll end up resenting you for it and it's only fair he should get to see his friends. Ask if he minds looking after your son (and the new baby when it's born) whilst you go out for an evening with your friends.
My ex used to do this to me all the time - I never minded him going out with his friends but it was the saying one thing and doing another that really got to me. It was a major factor in us breaking up in the end as I got fed up making plans and then sitting at home on my own until 4-5am wondering where he was.
Good luck with your new baby btw!

mila

no u are not overreacting. You are right, a married man shouldn't be out that late. ASk YOURSELF...... if i wasn't pregnant and i went and stayed out until 3 in the morning, would my husband be mad?................ The answer is..........YES. He would be furious too. He probably would accuse u of cheating and anything else he could think of.

Talk to him about hypothetical situations like that and see what he has to say. He knows u can't do it right now because u are pregnant but u will eventually have the baby, then what? Is he willing to keep the kids until 3 a.m and welcome u with open arms when u come in the house?

Good Luck

Joe P

My question is this does he do this often????? Yes he was wrong for not calling and saying he would be home early when he came home late. But if is a very rare event I would not worry about it he just went out and burned off some steam.

jhowess

Once in awhile , a great while, is ok because it does give you your time and his. If he came home a 3:00 am thats ok because most bars last call is 2:00 - 2:30 am. So he basically closed the bar and came home. Most of the time your husband should be home. There are too many temptations out at the bars when there is alchohol and half naked woman.

hlnlange

I think you're overreacting. You know where he was and I assume he doesn't do it every weekend.

I'm sure it's very difficult for him to tell his buddies that he has a curvue and has to go home in the middle of a great evening - give him some space.

bummy65807

If he was out with his buddies and you trust him, why is there an issue? If you went out with your girlfriends he would stay with your other child, right? So you can't really put that into the mix. He needs to go out with his friends just like you do.

im_big_so_what

i don't see you're overreacting, if i were u i would furious n up set too.

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