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LaToya J
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I wont say leave him or anything plush like that. I can say pray and that works alot. Also counseling can help but theres only so much counseling and lying he can do. But I will also say dont run away so quickly. You got married and you dont want to rush into a divorce. If this happens learn from your mistake and try not to rush in to marriage again but I will say dont be so available
have a life and go out and dont call him so much. Ignore him sometimes and dont be the only one alway doing things and planning things like romance type stuff. Stop doing things he should be doing stop being so nice to him. Let him do the man things and you do the woman things. This is what a guy told me He's got you and now he's like whats next. Dont be so available for him
Get fit and confident in you. Keep your self pretty and dont have low self esteem around him have personality and dont be timid and scared to do things dont be boring
Dont be these things below
W-Winers
O-Over Emotional
M-Money Hungrey
A-Angry all the time
E-Envious
N-Naggers
M-Messy
A-A$#-H^#s
E-Egotistic
N-Nonchallant
You see women have more issues than men. Thats why its easier for men to move on in relationships or to brush things off |
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julielove327
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In this situation I think leaving is the only answer. You will never trust him. |
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?
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Tell him to the face in a gentle manner that you find it hard to trust him. That he shud not try to make her believe anything by lying about it. Tell him its not love, its division that he is building into the relation with his lies. You must be open about it. Honesty is the best policy. But do not jump into seperation all of a sudden. Wait and proceed. |
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?
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get help |
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DerKatSanJam
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Man I feel for you I really do. But If you feel it won't or can't work then it won't you both have to give it a 100 percent. |
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winona e
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You have to realize that it will not get any better than this!!! It will only get worse. I knew someone who was in a relationship for 5 years, kept hoping it would get better, it did not!!! Somehow, you keep making excuses for this person, he will not change. You have to!!! |
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dvz
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Hey Gal,
Get out before there are any rug rats running around and then you will really be in trouble..
GET OUT NOW. |
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Honey Dip
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I'm sorry that you are going through so much this soon in marriage...I'm also happy that you are not naive and realized that there is a problem(most women are too stupid to realize) I think you should talk to him and let him know that you distrust him.....give him an ultimatum...if he can't stop lying then you want a divorce..there is no need to make yourself suffer if you are not happy....aren't we all entitled to happiness? |
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Melissa S
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Try the counseling - if nothing else in years to come you can say you tried and did the right thing.
Sounds like he has maturity issues - maybe this will be a good thing to help him start to grow up!
Best wishes!!! |
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agatehunt
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Anything is possible. He has to want to try, be actually making some progress, for it to work. If you don't have kids yet, that's wonderful. I'd separate for the time being-that lets him know you're not a doormat and insisting on bettering your marriage, for the RIGHT reasons. I can't believe only 10 mos into it, your relationship is already this bad. Sounds like you probably had no strong basis for marriage to begin with. If he doesn't get better, I wouldn't stay, personally. I'd get on my own, get healthy, and wait 5 more years to find someone who's truly in love with you, and who treats you right. If I had kids I'd try harder to repair things. |
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RAINBOW
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i hope I can help you, I realize you are newly weds. It can be an adjustment, I believe that since you both have enrolled in counseling you should continue at least then you will know you gave it your best shot, marriage does and will continue to be work. As for his lying. He has a problem there. I also now that trust can be earned back. that it something you should learn in counseling. Don't be to quick to throw in the towel. why? Because there was a point in time that you were in love, I believe you still are, it just hurts when there is dishonesty on the part of one of the two parties. Hang in there OK. I wish the both of you the best of luck on working out your situation.
May God bless the union between the two of you. |
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SID
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nope. get out. |
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craz34jason
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You should try counseling. Give it a shot. Then if it doesn't work, you can leave him since you said you don't love him anymore. You are just fooling yourself if you're still with him, and he doesn't change. You deserve the best. So why let him take it all away if it doesn't work out? You've probably tried enough, but it's his turn to show you how much he really needs you now. One of the worse thing ever is to lie to someone you love. He should be lucky you still haven't left him. Hope everything work out for the best. |
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makzury
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whoa damn that hurts try working them out if it doesnt owrk it will hurt but better let it go! |
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james o
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LEAVE HIM NOW, IF HES LIKE THIS AFTER 10 MONTHS THINK OF WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE AFTER 10 YEARS,,,, GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN, |
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panagirl69
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Why would you stay in a relationship where you don't love or trust the person? |
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x0sparklesx06
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Probably not. Most likely it will only get worse. Unless he realizes that you are serious about leaving, and then maybe he will clean up his act. I believe alot of men think, that once they got you and they are married to you, they don't have to worry about keeping you. So, I'd sit down and have a serious talk with him. Make it clear that you aren't his welcome mat, and you aren't always going to be there for him to walk in and out on! If he really loved you, I don't honestly think he would be looking for something else. Stand up for yourself girly! I know its hard to think your a failure at your marriage already, but its not your fault. |
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?
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Wow quick question did he do this before the I do's? Maybe that should have given you advanced warning. Anyway well tell him how you feel threaten to leave if things don't change and stick to your guns... Good luck |
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kimj
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you need to try just one time , if it don`t work out then leave. if you don`t have trust in anything. then you don`t have anything at all. a relationships are make on trust. and if you don`t love him anymore maybe it`s time to leave ,find love again with someone that you can trust. |
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EMAILSKIP
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Unfortunately, it's not gonna get any better. Get out now before there are kids involved. You don't change people by marriage. You should have seen his behavior pattern before getting married. Hindsite is 20/20. Make a plan and bail. Good luck. |
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JeffyB
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IT is very hard to change someone's innate behaviors (like lying) unless they really want to change. Maybe try the counseling for a bit, and see if you see signs that HE wants to change. |
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MariLin♥
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You just answered you're own question. YOU DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!! So what do you think? |
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SimplyCrazy
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if you DONT love him anymore there is no point of working things out, get divorced |
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>>||<<
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Try marriage couseling. If that doesn't or won't work then divorce him. You wrote that his actions show he is not reliable. |
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spdbunny
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10 months and you already have distrust? Erm, do what you think best, but i'd be out of there. |
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free_angel
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It will get better but only if he speaks the truth about changing and making things better. A liar is a hard person to trust and very seldom do they ever change. Personally I won't stick around with a liar. If they change, good for them but as for us, it's a no-go. |
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Shirley Temper
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If you are BOTH willing to work hard, pray and trust God, YES it can work, but if he can't stop lusting after other things/people, you'll never be able to work it out because he'll be controlled by his flesh! He may have good intentions but without Gods help , he will fail! Pray for him, and ask him to go talk to a Pastor for spiritual help! |
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berry
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I don't think so. Leave. |
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Taffi
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The words of your post says it all: his actions do not back up his words.
My experience has been that compulsive liars never change. I encourage you to get out now. |
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Sexy C
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Is not your fault. If he's the one doing the lying. The question is why and what does he lie about? U been marry for only 10 months and already on the rock? why? maybe you rush into it. Marriage counseling? Is a shame you can't work it out on your own. Maybe not a divorce but a break. Go see family, or friends for a weekend. Just to cool off and think. To be in the same house is hard to think even though he's not there. The negative vibe is there..so just go to a best friend house or family. Trust me you will see the answer for yourself. |
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