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edna_romano_1943
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Jill, is that you ?
Your story is just like my friends was. After about a year of that crap, she left him, was too much of a pain for her to suffer like that.
Edna |
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Cathy J
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Show him how cheap and silly he is being. Tell him you wont pay for the electricity or water that you dont use... |
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~♥Truckers Wife♥~
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Sounds like the relationship is going to be doomed, you need to explain to him that there is a 50 50.. regardless of what he wants or in this case eats...
If money is a problem it is only going to get worse. |
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green31
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NO, NO , and NO!!! This is not a marraige, you're living with a roomate. What does he think?? Who cares if he was in a bad relationship in past. He married you, he should act like you're in a marraige. I highly suggest counseling , this marraige is doomed if something doesn't change. If you continue like this I'm surprised rent and utilities aren't split down the middle too. When you get married, everything in your life is shared, its a joint commitment. Your life is suppose to be shared together, not like you're still in college and have a roomate. Thats ridiculous!!! |
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Amanda H
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you need to take him to financial counseling,
many churches offer this type of service too
what's going to happen when you have children ??? |
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open4one
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It's one thing to not have joint accounts because of the problems that creates when it is time to reconcile them each month, but this guy doesn't sound like he has a grasp on the concept of marriage at all. |
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jaded_blueone
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A marriage is a joining of two people to live as one. If he has the attitude you say, I would to prove a point, not do his laundry you didn't wear the clothes. If you bought the dishes tell him he needs to go out and buy his own to eat off of. I can think of more but you get the picture. |
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nate
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he sounds lame. Maybe you should tell him how marriage is an equal partnership... start buying really good food for your self, and refuse to share it with him. Don't let him ride in your car unless he pitches in for gas. |
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BARRY
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When you get married, you become a team. Your future ex-husband is not a team player. |
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% of the population...
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Oh my goodness!
You seriously need to have words with that man!
What exactly did you say in your marriage vows? You need to remind him of the things he said that day! |
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archkarat
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Well guess you see why the first wife left him. With that attitude I say you should dump him. It shouldn't be hard to replace someone like him |
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thorno74
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Apparently his previous wife nickel and dimed HIM to death. He might be going overboard a bit though. Why not agree on a joint account for bills that each of you contributes equally to. The rest is separate. If you want to send Christmas cards (i think it's a waste too) go for it. Go buy them yourself and have a blast.
If he isn't happy with what you buy at the grocery store, let HIM go. He'll grow tired of it after one trip and let you have whatever cereal you want.
It's funny how everyone on here thinks it's his fault. Who knows, you might be sponging off of him and he's tired of it. If you want to buy cereal at the store, get a better job and buy it yourself. It's easy. Why cause a fight over something so small? Just because he's cheap doesn't make him a bad guy. This isn't the 50's anymore. Fend for yourself, girl!!! |
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TG
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There are obviously bigger issues at work here. Your husband got burned in the past and he has trust issues. I strongly recommend counseling to help you work through thsi together. It will spill over into other areas of your life if you don't resolve it now. |
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Twisted Angel
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That's NOT a marriage and will only cause arguments. It shows that he doesn't trust you and/or he's just plain cheap! You may want to get counceling for this. |
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prouddaddy
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sheesh, talk about a couple having major league issues...I'd see someone about this...fast |
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bryanmccarey
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You better get a joint account with this guy. |
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mj
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Why the heck did you marry this narrow minded man?
If he can't trust you then why would you want to stay in this marriage? If you stay in this relationship the way it is going now then you are nuts. Straighten him out now!
In otherwards, his money is his and yours is his too?
I know two great friends of mine who have been married for 25 years and they have joint accounts, but each month they contribute equally for everything and if they share paying for things around the house that need to be fixed or bought.
I think its wrong. If your husband cannot share due to trust issues from another marriage what is this marriage about.
Believe me, other issues will pop up later and eventually you may be divorced, sad, and realizing you made a bad mistake. |
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wkdnred
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make him do his own flippin shopping then, this could get way out of hand, food now, what next? toilet paper? electricity? |
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The One, The Only Krandazzo!
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and you married him why? |
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Summerly, loving life
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Get a divorce if this is what you have to look forward to it is time to move it on out.
Tell him real seriously that you want a divorce and that you would hate to know what would happen if you ever got sick or anything like that.
I can see him wanting to save and if your not willing to do that and your not on board with him then if he has to look out for himself then okay. But if your on board for the future with him and your just wanting little things like you mentioned then i think you better get out while the getting is still good. Your his wife and he should provide for you like you provide for him. |
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Survivor
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I can't answer your question but I thought I share my experience regarding separate accounts. When my husband and I got married, we agreed to have separate accounts so we wouldn't feel that we have to account to each other our spending. I trusted him, at least I thought I could.
Recently, I found out he purchased an investment property with a married woman that he was having an affair with. Before the housing price drop, she (a real estate agent) could have sold the property for a profit but didn't. Now he brought her share and making interest only mortage payments on it. He wasn't upset with her and still continues the affair. Now, he is so broke that he is tight with his money and he questions many of the household expenses. I calculated that he lost close to $100,000 on this investment.
Unless you trust him, I think you should continue to push for a joint account. Regardless, just remember that if you live in a community property State, there is no his or her, all money and assets acquired after the marriage are joint property.
Good luck. |
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sonnyboy
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I agree with Kathy J. This could go on and on with many different things.
I really feel he needs some counselling to get over his ridiculous ideas and gain trust in you.Because he had a bad first marriage doesn't mean that this marriage will be the same.
He's not being very fair to you at all.You're partners in this marriage and he needs to realize that and not compare you to someone else. |
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Jackie B
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He does sound mean. Has he always been like this? Not sure why you even got friendly with him, never mind married him. Being mean has nothing to do with having been divorced...he's just a mean man.... |
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BroderickN
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He is not much of a man or a husband if he is so petty about his money and what it is buying for his household. He should feel lucky that you are willing to do as much as you do and put up with. Ask him who wears the pants, let him know that it is our money, not yours and mine. Together we can accomplish great things, seperately we can't mature. Let him know that you love him but this is hurting your relationship. Good luck |
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Missy S
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I understand the fact that he may have been burnt in his previous marriage...but that's not fair to you...You didn't do it...It sounds like your husband could use a reality check! It would be awful if you were to just buy groceries for you and not include him, wouldn't it....As far as the Christmas cards go...I thought when people were married things that were mine turned into ours...It should be our family and not divided up...Next year, I would sent out all of the cards to all of the family and just not worry about it...It's a little petty of your husband to single out how many of his family members are involved...Good luck with him...I'm hoping you guys are young and can work through it or it is going to be a long PETTY road with him!! |
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ThinMint
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I agree with the above poster... why did you marry him. When you get married, you become ONE! You're no longer two people, but one person. |
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The Naughty Librarian
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So only pay for your own stuff. Put your name on every grocery item that you go to the store and purchase and don't let him eat anything you prepare with your food. Don't send out any cards to his family. Put as much of your stuff in storage as possible then point out that you are using less space in the house than him and pay toward the rent/mortgage accordingly. Make him beg for joint finances. |
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gingygirl
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Let me guess this is a total shock right - he wasn't this way before you married him? Well then do this - buy your own groceries, let him buy his own, and he can cook them and clean up. Then you can split the electric, the water, the gas, the TV and the phone.... And you said yes this the life I want to share with this man? I am not one to yell divorce but you really need to ask yourself if this is how you want to live and why you didn't see this before - did you assume it would just change with that piece of paper? Tell him what you think, tell him what it means to you, and be honest and be honest until he hears you. You will know and then you can make the rest of your plans..... |
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MiMi ♥
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why did you marry him? |
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