Husband smokes weed, is it enough reason for a divorce?

Essa L.

This is a good question let me tell you I have dealt with a similar situation and this is what I concluded, smoking isn't as bad as drinking and driving or having an affair I know that doesn't justify that behavior but please try and remember that this is a bad drug and illegal but at least it isn't a drug that he would become dependent on. Take it day by day, this is the problem with us today myself included we think too far into the future or worry too much. Take this one day at a time and trust me if you REALLY loved your husband divorce wouldn't cross your mind. If your husband is a great provider, doesn't let smoking interfere with his career or taking care of you and your children than dont consider leaving him; we as woman are supposed to stand beside not behind or in front of our man. Smoking doesn't make him less of a person but thats his method of relaxing. Find other means for him and REMEMBER HE WILL STOP WHEN HE WANTS TO NOT BECAUSE YOU TELL HIM TO. HE HAS TO WANT TO...

bic

why did you get pregnant trhen? he needs help apparently. once/twice a day is far different than every now and then. gewt it straight.

joyce m

give him to choice. you and your baby or the weed. make him chose what is more important to him in his life, if he chooses you and the baby then you know that you are more important to him than smoking weed.

if he chooses weed, leave his sorry butt and get out while you can. think of what is best for yourself and the baby.

airbob61@verizon.net

He should be given an ultimatum, you and the baby or weed. If he elects to continue to smoke weed, then it should be apparent to you that he has made his choice.

LilSunbeam

It depends on what lifestyle you want to live? Weed smoking daily changes your life, it basically keeps a person in limbo and they dont grow or have any desire to achieve anything but the status choa. If he smokes it around the baby, get rid of him now. If he doesn't then realize you put yourself in danger of losing that child if he is ever caught in posession with the baby and you in the car or the house. It just depends on how much you are willing to risk? Been there, my ex, which is why he is my ex. He smoked it once around the baby and that was IT!! I dont even let him have visitation now because he is still a big pot head, I can tell you it just isn't worth it.

atsinoihsaf

Well why would you marry someone who smokes weed if you don't agree with?? This is your own fault and now you have a kid with him... deal with it! I look forward to seeing your house get raided on the next "Cops"! Toodles!

Jazzie

Well, if your man smokes weed, it could lead to other problems, like arrests for possession and what have you...AND THAT JUST AIN'T COOL when it comes to being someone's daddy, much less a hubby.

I wouldn't divorce straight off, I'd threaten him with getting something you always wanted that he doesn't want you to get....I always threaten my man when he talks about getting a donorcycle by saying okay ...just be prepared to see a little jack russell running around when you get back from the dealer(he doesn't want me to get a dog)

If there's nothing you can think of, I'd start by playing the pity card, you know cry and the like...IF THAT DON'T WORK, I'd ask him to go to counseling for his family and if that don't work then he obviously puts his drug habit before his family.

I wouldn't say it was a huge problem with no kid, but if you have a child, it's not good, not only for the baby, but for stability, if he gets pulled over and smells, the cops will check and he could go to jail or get a hefty fine which is a drain on the finances as well.

Rebecca W

Wow, he is great except for one thing and you want to get a divorce! I think you need to assess your marriage vows, learn to communicate with your husband, and get to work on building a home that is calm and peaceful. Then maybe he will not feel a need for a substance to relax with. Then again you could force the issue and he could quit smoking and go out with the guys for a couple of drinks after work instead.

Cyn

Ive been in a situation similar to yours I dont think that you should divorce him unless its affecting your every day life style or his. Instead, talk to him and ask him if anything is bothering him, usually men who smoke weed on a regular basis (once or twice a day) typically smoke to ease their minds. If he suggest that nothing is wrong with him, expain to him that its bothering you and encourage him to seek help.

lana s

He will probably continue and maybe behind your back.
This will eventually probably lead to other thinks in drugs.
If he is doing in the house with the child, I wouldn't put up with that at all.
He could do pills or what ever and you not know it unless he acts different and watch his eyes, and pupils.
I think there really needs to be a tough love discussion, either the weed or his family, if the weed is found in your house you will be in trouble too, it is illegal, that is possession, and what about the child, if you both go to jail?..........xx

luvlisteningtomusic

He has a problem with pot and needs to seek help. If it was every once in a while like once a month then no but since it is everyday then yes. He is spending money that you and the kids can use. He is showing his kids that if you have a problem spark up a joint every day. It is substance abuse and he needs help.

lipscomb216

Wow, smoking weed will kill you. So will breathing oxygen. This is a pathetic reason to divorce someone. You married him because you loved him, right? Doesn't sound like it. A marriage vow is something that is taken WWWWAAAYYYY too lightly by you. Through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, till death do us part, unless you toke some reefer.
Pathetic. I won't even get into the whole "why is weed illegal when alcohol kills more people" argument. Adultery should be the #1 cause of divorce, yet here in America it's "irreconcilable differences". If you have "irreconcilable differences" than WTF ARE YOU DOING MARRIED?

Farmer Chic

Why don't you try and get him some help first, and then if he disagrees remind him of what he could lose because of it!

big_syke2

your a tard, what else can i say but your a tard. Why are you mad, like wow...calm?

ladylady4470

Have you talked with him about it? give him a reminder that he said he would stop and you want him to keep his word. Is it a reason to get divorced? Not to sure on that one. I mean if he wasn't working or beating you or letting it take over his life then yeah.....

happypants

yes. i told my boyfriend that i would dump him if he smoke pot again....and i still mean it. i do NOT like drugs of any kind. i do NOT want my children to be around drugs. i do NOT want to be married or date someone that does drugs ANY kind of drug.

if he does not seek treatment, then i would look into separtion/divorce; if there is no repercussions to his behaviors, why would he stop

pumper

I had a friend with the same situation. They are divorced now. When is he going to grow up? Looks like the weed is more of a priority than his family. If it wasnt, he would have stopped. If he cared about your feelings, he would stop. But he hasnt.

Sanh

It is a bad habit and illegal as well. Was it a habit of his before you guys got married or after? If he's been that way from the beginning why wait until after marriage and after having a baby for it to really affect your life? If you didn't like it from the beginning you should have done something about it instead of letting it go this far. When I met my husband it was his bad habit as well, when I had enough of it, I gave him an ultimatum. It's not the problem of him doing it, it's the amount of money he's spending on it that bothers me. With marriage and raising a child it isn't fair to us and I've had enough of it. I left him alone to make his own decisions, it's something he's done from the beginning I can't change it he has to WANT to CHANGE for himself.

chevalrose

I wouldnt immediatly get a divorce just because of it, especially since you just had a baby, but seriously talk to him and tell him how upset you are. See how things go and if you're uncomfortable and he is still doing it, then it might be time to do something. If you are going to divorce him, do it when the child is young, that why they arent scarred. My parents divorced when I was 3 and I've known nothing else so it hasnt upset me.

Kailey

Obviously you are going to get a lot of different opinions on this subject. You will have the people who smoke weed themselves telling you it is no big deal, and the people who don't, telling you to leave. Ultimately the decision is yours!! You have to decide whether or not you can live with it! The chances are pretty good that he will never quit, at least not until he wants to.

I am speaking from experience on this subject. My husband used to smoke everyday. When we had no children I was ok with it, but we both agreed that he needed to stop when we had kids. It didn't happen. In fact, it got worse. He used the excuse "it's the way I relieve stress", so when we had kids the stress increased and so did his use. I spent a lot of my life trying to cover it up, hide it from the kids, and begging him to stop. Nothing worked! I finally realized that I had to change myself because I wasn't going to change him! I sat him down and explained that I was no longer willing to deal with it. I told him that he was a grown man and entitled to do whatever he wanted, but I would not allow my children to be raised in that environment. Once I made the decision to leave, he immediately got help. He has been completely clean for over 5 years now. The sad thing is, I lost all respect for him in the process of dealing with his addiction!! The lies and the desceet that goes along with it is what damages the relationship. If you continue to accept this behavior, it will eventually take its toll on you!! I DO NOT condone divorce, but I do suggest that you set boundaries for yourself and your children and stick to them!! If divorce ends up being the ultimate outcome, then you will be ok. If you allow this, your children will eventually find out and you will have no credibility with them what-so-ever! They could eventually grow up and follow in his footsteps!! That was a possiblity that I feared constantly!!

I wish you luck! It is time to determine what you can and cannot live with and do not waiver from that decision - no matter how difficult it becomes!!

â™¥Tessaâ™¥

isnt he aware that department of children and families will either be on your asses all the time and or take your child away? he needs to stop or you should leave. its not worth having your child taken away.

kim t

You need to have a heart to heart talk with him.

angel

You married him for better or worse, I divorced my first husband for more reasons than that and just finished my 3rd divorce, each one got worse. I wished I would have stayed with the first one, the kids were a good reason. You married him for other reasons, b cuz you knew he smoked pot when you married him right?? He could be an abuser, gay, etc...
Good luck and do it for your baby :)

Skitelz

Smoking weed is not the worst thing in the world but, he needs to realize if he gets caught by the police your kid may and or will be taken away. You both could go to jail. He would go because he is the one doing it. You would go because you know that he does it. Your baby will be put into foster care until courts decide where the baby will be best to go. Sometimes they go with family not always. You may never have custody of your baby again. Losing a child is very hard. Mine died of SIDS. There was nothing anyone could do it just happened. I can deal with that. I couldn't deal with knowing that I lost a child over drugs. You have to realize that there is no one else in this world that can protect your babies welfare but you as the parent. I am not saying get a devorce by any means. I would let him know that it is ruining the family and that you are not willing to lose your baby over something as little as drugs. Let him know that you would rather give him up then the baby. He may just need a wake up call. If it doesn't help then you may want to just give him the option of it is either the baby and me or the weed but, not both. I would try this but divorce would be the LAST RESORT. I am not a specialist but this is my opinion.

reddbbird92

wow and can you possibly imagine if it was legal...........

Tee

Yes you told him to stop before the kids - if you divorce him for that- then you really dont love him and should get a divorce anyway. I know parents who smoked and their kids didnt find out till they were teens. also the kids didnt end up dumb or anything. I need to smoke weed at least once every 2 days, i consider it much much less bad then a cig smoker who lites up every hour!

jake

you met him like. unfair to expect hm to be different now,

Dood

Yeah, stop nitpicking. Try smoking a bowl with him. It might help you lighten up.

Jessica

I cant speak for you but if my husband started this I would warn him of a divorce and he would know I meant it. This may seem like a small habbit now, but eventually he won't be able to function without it and he may experiment with other kinds.

redpeach_mi

i say that it would be grounds for a divorce. if he gets caught, the state is going to take your child away. is he worth that? i would gladly give up my hubby for my children if he wasn't willing to give up something illegal.

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