Husbands who verbally abuse wives when drunk?

jude

when someone is drinking their true thoughts come out. they know what they say, and they mean to say them. drinking only revels the truth of how they feel about the person.

Julie H

I would think if he calls her these names when he's drunk, that is how he really feels about his wife. Being drunk loosens his tongue and he says what he really feels.

Suz123

I suggest reading
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond
by Patricia Evans (Author)

It is available at amazon.com.

Then after you read it? Give the book to your friend.

mr pickle

He says what he says. He means what he means. Sorry she puts up with it.

Grow Up!!!

It reveals he needs to go to AA and get sober before he loses his wife.

penelope

As you know, drinking does not nor should not justify a persons lack of respect they show towards others, and your friend is also well aware of this fact, however she right now is mentally lost in the world of co-dependency, co-dependency toward a alcoholic is a horrible confusing place to be, in fact most people who are exposed to the disease of alcoholism are far more ill then the person who is consuming the alcohol, again a horrible place to be. The fact that he doesn't love her or that their marriage is not pretty is meaningless, right now she is not going to listen to any ones advise or impressions they may have on her marriage, as she is to sick. However if someone could make a suggestion to her regarding attending a few Al-anon meetings this could be the start of her really seeing just how dysfunctional her life is, as their seems to be something about sitting in a room full of other people who are just like you, it brings about self growth, rational thinking and makes you re-think the future. But as most co-dependents, she will balk at this idea? So without the help of outside support such as Al-anon she will basically change nothing, as she gets a sense of comfort in her sick co-dependent world, and the only way to get her out of this sick world is to either seek help, or rock her boat a little, to rock the boat would mean that her drunk would seek treatment, and may I add that most co-dependents typically leave their drunk once they become sober, or he could die or go to prison? What ever the scenario is, it is never going to change unless something changes. While your intentions are nice, you must understand that this situation is way bigger then you and it may be best to be their when or if the chips may fall, but to not get to absorbed in this. Take Care

Starlite

If he knows that he gets verbally abusive when drunk, perhaps he needs to think about cutting booze out of his life. If he really cares about his wife he would be willing to do anything to prevent his abusive behaviour.

His drinking is no excuse for his behaviour. He needs to get some help.

John Hightower

Would suggest:

First, buy a tape recorder and the next time he is drunk record his comments. When he gets sober, play it back to him. Ask him why he said those things? Why does he sound like he hates her guts?

2nd, being drunk just bring out the behavior of people who are hiding their feelings. I was say, when he is drunk she is hearing his real thoughts about her.

The wife needs to decide if she wants to continue in this relationship or not. I wouldn't (married 24 years).

mel

He needs to stop the drinking if that is the only time he acts that way,if he won't she should leave.

Serene E

Well, I wouldn't be married to a man who got drunk regularly. That's not pleasant to be around.
But it's an easy out, isn't it, for him? "I was drunk -didn't know what I was saying". AND SHE BUYS IT!!!!

She's staying for a reason. Until that reason isn't there, she'll stick. But I certainly wouldn't.

Bumble Bee702

He is a angry drunk...ppl tell the truth or how they really feel when they are drunk

j brew

I will never understand any woman who puts up with any sort of abuse from the person who is suppose to love and protect them. A spouse that is anyway abusive to them is no sort of spouse at all. The excuse of they don't mean it. Or what about the kids. Or they only do it when they have been drinking so on and so froth is just that an excuse. There is never ever ever a good enough reason to put up with this sort of thing it comes down to not having enough self esteem to walk away from the situation or simply not seeing another way out. There is always something you can do. There is always another way out and no reason to accept the situation. That is period the end.

blues breaker

it just means he's a @ss. plain and simple. and i'f she forgives him cause he was drunk, she's an idiot who's only fooling herself.

Tay Tay

she needs to leave the azz hold he has problems he'll get worse if she stays

I Love 007

Please leave an abusive marriage.

Rebekah K

It means he shouldn't drink so much. If he knows that drinking causes him to disrespect his wife, then out of respect for her he should refrain from drinking.

pumpkin

they saying that people under influence of alcohol tell the truth (serum of truth) - I agree with that!
I think that he has some issues with her (against her) and it comes out when he is drunk.

She need to seat and talk to him! she needs to ask him what is his feelings are, maybe get some professional help!
K

tweety

all of the above ..He is doing something right to keep your friend in the marriage..Love is blind one day she'll wake up and smell the coffee.But that has to be the choose she makes.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: