I'm asking this on behalf of a friend...Please help!?

Amanda D

If she would not be happy with him, then no Way! She should pull a runaway bride. The baby would only hurt worse to grow up thinking that that is his/her dad, only to find out the truth about the sham of a marriage later in life. If the parents aren't happy the kids won't be either, her parents of all people should want her to be happy.

mrsjatice

What is best for her...there are many programs that can help her pay for rent and whatnot for her and the baby...if she marrys this guy it will be the biggest mistake of her life...and i dont understand why her parents would want to do that to her. I am a single mother of two and it is hard at times, but she can do it on her own

Mandy M

if she is twenty tell her to do what the hell she wants!!!!!!!!!!!and there are programs that will help with the housing problems!

Gina

Run. And wake up! Its 2006 for heavens sake not 1940.

gp200dawn

She should not marry someone she does not love.
She could go to the local council or housing associations who would find affordable accommodation for her & the baby. Also she get get help with childcare costs from the government so she could still carry on working. She'll manage plenty of people do it.

Dave. F

Wow, what a pickle, First does the ex know he is a Dad? i would guess he doesn't know. I would say that your friend should not marry her current bf. You said the current bf pretends to be "in love". If he doesn't truly love her nor like her what would be the point of marrying then? Her parents aren't doing her any favor by making her do something like marry someone she only "sees" as a meal ticket.

babygirl97889

she should get married and after the baby is born she should get divorced

diaz276

dont do it

DENISE

THE THING IS SHE IS A GROWN WOMAN AND HER MOM AND DAD NEED TO HELP HER MORE THEN HURT HER,THIS COULD BE HURTFUL TO THE BABY LATER ON IN LIFE.

Nicegal

YOUR FRIEND SHOULD FOLLOW HER HEART, MARRYING SOMEONE YOU DON'T LOVE DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. WHAT WILL BE THEIR FUTURE. SHE SHOULD NOT PUT HER LIFE AT RISK.

aydn55

that Ä±s her decÄ±sÄ±on and she must decÄ±de on that one dont dÄ±rect her bc later u may be accused of gÄ±vÄ±ng wrong Ä±dea

misydoll

Find some roommates to help with the cost of the house and don't get pressured by her parents. She needs to be happy. The roommates will understand she is having a baby.

Ding

She must keep the baby and live her own life. She will make it if she wants to.

God bless.

moonlilystar

wow i am really sorry to hear that i hope all goes well

is her ex her ex-husband or ex-boyfriend? I can never agree when someone is pretending to be the father of a baby that is not his. The world has changed, it's ok to be a single mother today and the actual father should pay child support. I'm sure your friend would be better off raising a child on her own than with someone she doesn't love or want to live with. Money isn't everything but of course you can't get far without it.

My niece was in a similar situation, the father of her baby wanted to marry her but she didn't want to have anything to do with him. She met someone else who is now married to her and they have another child and he is just as much a father to the older baby as his own but the baby will always know his real father and his family. We have no right to rob our children of their real families, no matter how we feel about them. You never know when someone will need a next of kin in life threatening situations and that is not the time to discover your father isn't your father.........

Good luck to your friend. Tell her to follow her heart

usmchawkeye

she should not do anything she does not want to

mamas_grandmasboy06

She needs to tell her parents how she feels and she needs to tell them she doesnt love the guy.

Danilov

My advice: She must get as far from her parents as possible. They are not the ones that must live her life, and take decisions for her. Tell her just to listen to her heart. Don't think about the material situation. She needs to be loved, and appreciated for who she is not for what she has got.

The Chief

As far as I know...at least in this country, she can not be forced to marry anyone.

If she is not mature enough to stand up to her parents, she is not mature enough to have a baby. Tell her to be a grown up and do what SHE thinks is best, after taking the advice of those she trusts and respects.

Wahenie

What is going on in this world. Are we living in the stone ages. Her parents can't force her to marry anbody she doesn't love it is against the law.
She can stand up to them and not let them get away with this. She needs to tell her parents get a life and it is not going to happen.

mt_lil

She's 20, they have no legal right to tell her what to do, have her call a lawyer, consultations are free in most cases. They will let her know what to do.

Steve

Issue is a financial issue vs. a love issue. It maybe cruel but she need to choose which is most important short-term. If she choose love and not marry the guy, how to deal with money - friends, other jobs. Solve the money question and the guy question will come easier.

Stuart M

I would advice your friend not to marry him. If she doesn't love him, the relationship won't work or last. Her parents can't force her to get married as this would violate human rights laws. Beside's, it's your friend's choice whether she wants to get married or not.

Flick W

She must make up her own mind and then deal with the consequences. Her life will be miserable if she hasn't takenher own decision.

MommyToTwo06

This really isn't about your friend, nor about what would "make" your friend happy. Sorry. This is about the future of a helpless baby.

I hate to feel like the odd man out here, but is adoption a possibility? so the baby could be raised by two people who would want her and provide her with all that love they had to give, and she could receive structure, care and support that your friend simply could not give. Perhaps my opinion is skewed, being the product of a situation painfully similar to your friend, don't hate me.

riddletricia

If she is 20, her parents can't force her to do anything. She needs to give up the baby, maybe an open adoption. The baby could still know her, but have two parents who are financially able to care for him. She also needs to keep her legs closed until she gets married.

AutumnGirl

My mother had a shot gun wedding but she was marrying the father of her child (me). She must have a DNA test to prove he isn't the father and flat out refuse to marry him if she doesn't want to. A loveless marriage is the worse thing to go through, especially with children. I know this.
The man is a scammer, get him out of there. He doesn't deserve her, and she doesn't need him. He's probably in it for money, if not other motives.
Contact the real father, get him to say it's his, and hear his side. Everyone needs to know why those two split up. Don't let this scammer make everyone think he's doing a good deed by marrying a woman with no father for her baby. She can get county assistance, medical, food stamps, and a state check to help her until she can get back on her feet. They also provide day care so she can work too. They also got low income housing too.

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